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It turns out it wasn't xkcd (which is why I didn't have it on hand).

So a guy walks into a bar. He shouts in pain and continues on his way, cursing.

Turn about is about to turn.

I wouldn't show them too much pity--if they're good sharpeners then they make good tips...

Hello Haiming! Lots of fun & interesting things to do, see, play, eat, talk about ... (No, wait. Nevermind the eating.) Take a good look around & stay a while. Welcome to the Den!

http://bit.ly/KNagVV and other related searches. It's the Internet, Braniac.

Turn about is when someone from a different country gets a turn to pick the phrase, and having had to deal with common US phrases for most of the thread, she picks one that is not ;P <-my signature smiley..

A kid dressed as a pirate goes to a house, and the woman at the house says, "Well are you a cute pirate. But where are your buckineers.? The kid replies, "In my buckin' hat."

Two men walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have some H2O?" The other says, " I want some H2O too, please." The second man soon died.

Hi!!! I'm EDM, or Li, as I prefer to be called... I'm the self-proclaimed "Smiley Queen", coz i LOVE SMILEYS!!! :D More about me is in my profile & in my introduction thread...Our friend & honourary sister, MiKi, will introduce me properly... Any questions, feel free to ask...I'm always glad to help... ENJOY!!! :D

there are 2 bricks in a plane. one falls out. how many are left? how do you put an elephant in a refrigerator? how do you put a zebra in a refrigerator? the lion has called a convention that every jungle animal should try to attend. which animal did not attend? you need to get across a river that has a nest of alligators in it. how do you get past the river? you die anyway, upon crossing the river. why?

Guy: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Other Guy: Armstrong walked on the moon, while Michael Jackson . . . Random Guy: IS FREAKIN CRAZY!!!!!!!!

I GOT OVER NINE THOUSAND. (Squared *-1)

Took me a while to get here, sorry. But, as promised.... Here goes Li's intro. Li is the most amazing-est wonderful bigger sister ever ['cept for Aki ]. She's crazy for smileys, like that silly bird is coocoo for Coco Puffs, and uses them to the max in her posts. She is totally kind and helpful and loving and everything, and I couldn't ask for anything better in a big sis. Watch out, though! Until you get to know her, she can be a bit of a....how do you say..... well, let's just say she's pretty weird in her own right. [Love ya, Li! ] Um, she rubs off on people occasionally [like me. I use smileys a lot too now, thanks to her. ], but it s a good kind of rubbing off. And that about sums her up, I think. As for me.... My intro is also in this forum. And before the others come along and say it, I DO NOT HAVE A TAZER. As for my so-called nefarious plots.... Well. I'll leave you to figure those out. Enjoy the Den!

turn about is what every Phoenix Wright episode has as it's title.

Every 15 points away from the mean is supposed to be one standard deviation. If a big proportion of takers get over 140, the test is broken or designed to give people flattering results. Or both. Only about .5% of people - one in 200 - should do that well. Online IQ tests are complete nonsense.

Horns Mightier Than Demon Satan's Goring Into Flesh.

Him mastering the dude so gruesomely, I fainted.

He'll maul the Diaphragm so greatly it'll flap.

Turn about is a phrase which might, MIGHT, mean to turn about. I am not sure. I need to look it up.

'Turn about' is a code word used is the North Korean army which means everyone must wear green boxes.

Turn about is... ...the name of a Dance Club...???

Don't know how this'll translate, but what the hey.... The two longest motorways in Britain, the M6 and the M1, are in a bar having a drink. M6 is in boastful mood. "I'm the hardest motorway in Britain! Chuck Norris has nothin on me! I'll take on anybody.." With that, the bar door opens and in walks a thin strip of green asphalt. M6 suddenly ducks down hiding behind a table. M1 looks down at him. "What are doing cowering down there M6? I thought you were tough....scared of no-one?" "Yeah", says M6 "But he's a cyclepath"

Oy! You nicked my joke !

Have you heard about the guy that got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's alright now.

What did the man say after he lost a fencing match?

pencil sharpeners have a tough life. They live off tips.

Welcome to the Den! Don't make promises about not killing until you decide you're not a mafioso/a. I only slay people with my "humor". But I digress ... Many things to take part in, be sure to give them all a try - Philosophize in the Others section, hone your logic skills & set others to the task in the New Logic/math forum, amaze & thwart us with word puzzles in New Riddles, have some fun (& possibly kill some people) in Games, & laugh (or groan) at a few Jokes. Lots of folks whose first language isn't English, so despite my grammar nazi tendencies you are graciously awarded a free pass on the occasional mis-spell etc. Enjoy! Hope to "see" you around!

Hi Assassin. Welcome to the Den! Aww. Does that mean you won't be trying Mafia? Hope you enjoy it here.

are you kidding? he can do that without a keyboard, strapped to a bomb that goes of in a second underwater chained to the ground and surrounded by volcanoes that are about to go off.

1. Let's say that the armor is 10 cm thick (or however thick it is). Since the bullet is capable of shooting through anything, when the bullet hits the armor it will penetrate 5 cm of that armor. The bullet still gets through half of the armor (true), and does not penetrate the armor at all (true). 2. Yes he can. But whether he dies or not is another problem. 3. No. There's no point in accepting a mission that is bound to fail from the start. 4. I agree with the previous posts. Go to the time when the girl was already born, and there should be no problem at all. 5. "Twice as cold" is rather subjective. Instead of measuring the temperature, maybe we can try this: if today I wear a coat, maybe tomorrow I should wear two coats. 6. "Yes" is false, "No" will confuse the asker. 7. I will travel together with the light from my headlights. 8. "God has the power to create anything. He also has the power to lift anything. Can he create something that he cannot lift?" this is a very nice paradox. If he is a God, then he is (supposed to be) able to create anything. He is also (supposed to be) capable of lifting anything. But if he is to create a stone that is supposed to be unliftable, yet he is capable of lifting it; that would neglect the fact that he can create anything out of his will.