Evil Genies

[mmiguel]

I thought this might be fun, but maybe it will flop.

A person finds a magic lamp with an evil genie inside.

The person may ask for any wish to be granted.

The genie, spiteful for having to serve a pitiful little human with his phenomenal cosmic powers, wants to make his master regret every wish that is made.

Posters, assume the role of either the genie of the human.

Rules:

I. Both genie and human are powerless to change these rules

II. As the human , you should wish for something that most people would actually find desirable.

III. Everything the human explicitly wished for must come true, and all harm (physical, mental, psychological, ...etc) that the spiteful genie inflicts should ultimately derive from a creative interpretation of the wish (e.g. deliberately ignoring common implications in speech that are not explicitly stated, or taking things out of context, ...etc). E.g. it's cheating if a person wishes for a million dollars, and the genie gives him a million dollars and also dumps a bucket of lava on his head (lava has nothing to do with the wish). It's not cheating if a person wishes for eternal life, and the genie prevents them from ever dying, but allows their body to to continue to age and weaken normally forever into some grotesque shamble that doesn't even look human - in this case, the person's eventual regret derives from making the wish in the first place.

IV. The genie cannot control his master's mind. This may sound good for the master, but it prevents the genie from being able to grant wishes like: I wish to always be happy forever.

V. Off limits: Wishing for more wishes, wishing for multiple things in one wish. The wish should be one thing possibly followed by further clarifications that specify the one thing. Cannot undo wishes.

Challenge:

Humans: Find an uncorruptible wish.

Genies: Corrupt every wish

Let's see who wins!

Here's one to start with:

"I wish to be the most intelligent person ever"

Edited September 18, 2012 by mmiguel

[famous1304]

Granted, it has no charger compatible.

I wish for super speed

[phaze]

Granted, Being a class A narcotic I have also informed your local SWAT team

I wish that he will be hospitable to his "guests", who will be arriving in 20 seconds

[katespencer]

Answer This ...

You have a fox, a chicken and a sack of grain. You must cross a river with only one of them at a time. If you leave the fox with the chicken he will eat it; if you leave the chicken with the grain he will eat it. How can you get all three across safely?

[geaaronson2]

I wish that you reveal yourself as without the powers of a genie.

[phil1882]

phaze: granted, he tries to swat them comfortably on the sofa as they arrest him and take him away. :shrug:

granted, see my pic. no genie powers there.

i wish for a happy new year.

[phaze]

Granted, that was last year

I wish that Windows 8 was coherent

[smuckers12]

Granted, it crashes into YOUR house and kills you.

I wish for a new phone with lots of memory.

Granted, it is a phone the size of a house.

I wish to be rich.

[flamebirde]

Granted, after being boiled and sauteed in butter all the cannibals agree that you were quite rich.

I wish to know when I will die and that day will be at least seventy years in the future.

[phaze]

Granted, at approx 4:03pm UTC/GMT +2 hours on the 6th of January 2083 a stray antelope is shot by poachers who are quite unaware that it is the re-incarnation of their great uncle.

I still wish that coherent Windows 8 was

[Shakeepuddn]

Flamebirde, those are two distinct wishes.

Being so altruistic, I sincerely wish that the genie no longer ruin or in any way inflict his malevolence through the wishes of others.

[phaze]

Granted, I took "others" to mean people not in this thread, the infliction of malevolence is no longer ruined so be prepared for centuries of bottled up anger.

I still wish that consistent Windows was 8

[flamebirde]

granted, it was in it's testing phases but is no longer coherent.

I wish that this wish wasn't two wishes, and yet I also wish that it is two wishes.

[phaze]

Granted, however I cant recall if I granted one wish or two

I wish for a better memory

[Kikacat123]

Congratulations. You can now remember every horrible thing anyone has ever said or done to you.

Edited March 21, 2013 by Kikacat123

[phaze]

At least I can still remember to make a wish

I wish that Kikacat123 makes a corruptible wish

[Kikacat123]

Okay, phaze, I wish that in ten years, I will create a medicine that cures every disease known (and unknown) to mankind.

Edited March 21, 2013 by Kikacat123

[dyalDragon]

I wish that in ten years, I will create a medicine that cures every disease known (and unknown) to mankind.

Granted. 9 years, 364 days from now you are delivering your creation to an international medical convention to share it with the world... but you are so wrapped up in your own greatness you didn't see that bus about to run a red light. (Maybe you should have shared your research instead of being so selfish/paranoid and keeping it a secret)

I wish I didn't have to study so much for exams.

[Kikacat123]

Your wish is my command. You can study however much you want or not at all. Too bad that you will fail because you didn't study.

I wish that everyone can and could read, write, and speak every language.

[dyalDragon]

Your wish is my command. You can study however much you want or not at all. Too bad that you will fail because you didn't study.

I wish that everyone can and could read, write, and speak every language.

Granted. Unfortunately, everyone seems to have very strong opinions on which language is the 'best', so all of our time now is spent arguing about which language we should all speak.

I wish that racism didn't exist.

[Kikacat123]

Okay. All races have been eliminated except one. I wish that I had the same powers as the evil genie, but I am not evil, do not have to be trapped in a bottle, and can only grant wishes that I decide are noble ones.

[dyalDragon]

Okay. All races have been eliminated except one. I wish that I had the same powers as the evil genie, but I am not evil, do not have to be trapped in a bottle, and can only grant wishes that I decide are noble ones.

Granted. Since you don't live in a bottle, there is no way for anyone to track you down in order to wish their noble wishes.

I wish someone would corrupt this wish.

[Kikacat123]

Sorry. I cannot grant your wish because you did not abide by the rules, which say that you can only wish for things that most people would find desirable. Tough luck! You wasted your one wish.

I wish that I was and am invincible to any physical or mental harm.

Edited March 21, 2013 by Kikacat123

[BobbyGo]

I wish that I was and am invincible to any physical or mental harm.

Granted. You've been admitted into a top level psychiatric ward, complete with full-body restraints, fluffy walls, 24 hour surveillance, and enough happy pills to make an evil genie hug a tree.

I wish I had all the requirements (knowledge, skills, money, etc...) to build a perfectly fitting, fully functional Iron Man suit.

[Kikacat123]

Your wish is my command. Yesterday you had them, but not anymore. Sorry!

I wish that, before granting my wish to be able to fly, the evil genie will decide not to corrupt anyone's wish and give people exactly what they wish for according to their interpretation.

[dyalDragon]

Your wish is my command. Yesterday you had them, but not anymore. Sorry!

I wish that, before granting my wish to be able to fly, the evil genie will decide not to corrupt anyone's wish and give people exactly what they wish for according to their interpretation.

Granted. The genie waited all night for you to tell him your exact interpretation of your wish to fly, but he never heard back from you... after an all night caffeine bender he tracks you down and throws you off the top of the nearest skyscraper. After hearing the satisfying crunch as you hit the ground, he chuckles to himself and is officially back to his former cranky (and evil) self.

I wish that there was a surgical procedure that could fix Alzheimer's.