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Evil Genies

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I thought this might be fun, but maybe it will flop.

A person finds a magic lamp with an evil genie inside.

The person may ask for any wish to be granted.

The genie, spiteful for having to serve a pitiful little human with his phenomenal cosmic powers, wants to make his master regret every wish that is made.

Posters, assume the role of either the genie of the human.

Rules:

I. Both genie and human are powerless to change these rules

II. As the human , you should wish for something that most people would actually find desirable.

III. Everything the human explicitly wished for must come true, and all harm (physical, mental, psychological, ...etc) that the spiteful genie inflicts should ultimately derive from a creative interpretation of the wish (e.g. deliberately ignoring common implications in speech that are not explicitly stated, or taking things out of context, ...etc). E.g. it's cheating if a person wishes for a million dollars, and the genie gives him a million dollars and also dumps a bucket of lava on his head (lava has nothing to do with the wish). It's not cheating if a person wishes for eternal life, and the genie prevents them from ever dying, but allows their body to to continue to age and weaken normally forever into some grotesque shamble that doesn't even look human - in this case, the person's eventual regret derives from making the wish in the first place.

IV. The genie cannot control his master's mind. This may sound good for the master, but it prevents the genie from being able to grant wishes like: I wish to always be happy forever.

V. Off limits: Wishing for more wishes, wishing for multiple things in one wish. The wish should be one thing possibly followed by further clarifications that specify the one thing. Cannot undo wishes.

Challenge:

Humans: Find an uncorruptible wish.

Genies: Corrupt every wish

Let's see who wins!

Here's one to start with:

"I wish to be the most intelligent person ever"

Edited by mmiguel
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338 answers to this question

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Posted · Report post

granted, you're so intelligent, you're severely autistic, and have trouble performing normal functions such as dressing yourself, showering, and tying your show laces.

calculating the square root of 2 to a million decimal places, no problem, you do that in your sleep.

i wish to be wealthy.

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Posted · Report post

Your wish is my command. I shall bury you in a mountain of pennies.

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Posted · Report post

I wish I had the exact same superpowers as the fictional character Kyle Rayner from the Green Lantern/D.C. comics.

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Posted · Report post

You mean Ion-possessing-Kyle Rayner,Parallax-controlling-Kyle Rayner or Kyle Rayner-as-a-normal-Green-Lantern?

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I wish I had the exact same superpowers as the fictional character Kyle Rayner from the Green Lantern/D.C. comics.

Your wish is my command. You had the powers yesterday. Too bad you didn't know about it.

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Posted · Report post

I wish to be extremely handsome

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I wish to be extremely handsome

Your wish is my command. You are now morbidly obese. Mwahahahaha!!!

4. considerable, ample, or liberal in amount

Synonyms

4. large, generous, munificent.

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Posted · Report post

I wish that no-one had the power to grant wishes.

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Posted · Report post

I wish that no-one had the power to grant wishes.

Hi, I'm no-one from the planet pryk-ton. ;P

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Posted · Report post

I wish you always do whats good for me

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Posted · Report post

I wish you always do whats good for me

But I always give you what I think is the best thing for you...

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Posted · Report post

I wish you always do whats good for me

In the words of Adrian Monk: "You'll thank me later" ;P

I wish you would grant this wish.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

In the words of Adrian Monk: "You'll thank me later" ;P

I wish you would grant this wish.

Zap* Done.

Nothing happens and you regret that you didn't gain anything from your wish.

I wish to always be in control of any situation (any situation external to my own thought process - since genie can't control my mind).

Edited by mmiguel
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Posted · Report post

Zap* Done.

Nothing happens and you regret that you didn't gain anything from your wish.

I wish to always be in control of any situation (any situation external to my own thought process - since genie can't control my mind).

I did gain something...information (about how genies grant wishes) :P.

"Any situation"? Okay, you are in control of what you type next on your computer. Done.

I wish I to be able to shape-shift into any and all things, at any and all times I want, for whatever length of time I choose.

(C'mon, I can't be the only one who wants superpowers? ;P)

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I did gain something...information (about how genies grant wishes) :P.

"Any situation"? Okay, you are in control of what you type next on your computer. Done.

I wish I to be able to shape-shift into any and all things, at any and all times I want, for whatever length of time I choose.

(C'mon, I can't be the only one who wants superpowers? ;P)

OK, but you can only maintain that form when you have perfect focus (aka you can't walk or talk or move)

Otherwise you will be a formless ooze.

I wish to know the winning numbers for the next 20 lotteries.

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OK, but you can only maintain that form when you have perfect focus (aka you can't walk or talk or move)

Otherwise you will be a formless ooze.

I wish to know the winning numbers for the next 20 lotteries.

Your wish is my command. They are 43 3 23 5 32 12 56 8 32 12 12 34 54 7 6 32.......etc. in no particular order.

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...And you don't know what state/country etc the numbers are for ;).

I wish Sherlock Holmes really existed. ^_^

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Posted · Report post

granted, and he logically deduces a murder leading to you as a primary suspect.

okay super -powers eh?

i wish for the ability to control luck.

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If a mod is reading this, it should probably be moved to the Games section.

Granted, but it turns out that the universe is completely deterministic and nothing is decided by luck.

I wish for all the dirty dishes piling up in my sink to be cleaned, undamaged, not poisoned, not on fire or at any reasonable risk of combustion, and sitting in their proper places in my cabinets. ("Sitting" implies that they are at rest and not traveling at near-light speed about to bore a hole through the walls.)

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Posted · Report post

If a mod is reading this, it should probably be moved to the Games section.

Granted, but it turns out that the universe is completely deterministic and nothing is decided by luck.

I wish for all the dirty dishes piling up in my sink to be cleaned, undamaged, not poisoned, not on fire or at any reasonable risk of combustion, and sitting in their proper places in my cabinets. ("Sitting" implies that they are at rest and not traveling at near-light speed about to bore a hole through the walls.)

Your wish is my command. The dishes begin to wash themselves in the sink and put themselves away....but they forget to turn the sink off. Your apartment/house is now flooded ruining everything and your water bill is astronomical.

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Posted · Report post

I wish that this wish would have no detrimental effect whatsoever.

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I did gain something...information (about how genies grant wishes) :P.

"Any situation"? Okay, you are in control of what you type next on your computer. Done.

I wish I to be able to shape-shift into any and all things, at any and all times I want, for whatever length of time I choose.

(C'mon, I can't be the only one who wants superpowers? ;P)

haha

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Posted · Report post

If a mod is reading this, it should probably be moved to the Games section.

Granted, but it turns out that the universe is completely deterministic and nothing is decided by luck.

I wish for all the dirty dishes piling up in my sink to be cleaned, undamaged, not poisoned, not on fire or at any reasonable risk of combustion, and sitting in their proper places in my cabinets. ("Sitting" implies that they are at rest and not traveling at near-light speed about to bore a hole through the walls.)

Well... it's almost like each response is a new riddle.

:)

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I wish that this wish would have no detrimental effect whatsoever.

Your wish is my command. Well everything detrimental that WOULD have happened yesterday didn't so it will all happen today.

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