itachi-san

edit: thought of a few more possibilities for #3

gj on 1 and 2 Frost! and yeah, it's hard for me to tell, but I think they get quite difficult (luckily it's the weekend, so no bosses or teachers should complain )

This is an homage to Brandonb's translator puzzles. They are all quotes from movies and hopefully follow the difficulty level he has setup. I hope everyone has as much fun solving these as I had making them lvl 1) W'C Y BKD PIYAWVD PYNA. W FKZOBV'E TVKF FIYE EK BK FWEI KVM WR W PYZDIE KVM. W XZAE BK EIWVDA. - IMYEI OMBDMN YA EIM XKTMN lvl 2) EPW QJH MJDDE OEPS EFF ZEQ FKIIFW ZJMMKW, JP EPW QJH MJDDE OKIW. - CP OFJDZW (missing 2 important grammatical devices somewhere) lvl 3) LJBOMO QZJV NBLJ QVAJP QN QJOQ GJ. A QJ RAO YAIJV SAQR ONGJ KI XJBO BP BALJ LRABQA. (missing the letter A) lvl 4) JT EMM BOH WX LJXBA X EMM BOH BJSXA X EMM BOH SJCMP, AOH SEMUA XBJ VXH (missing a vowel) lvl 5) WV AWHUL U CJWQ Z VNVIJZQ U AE IZKZAZC. JWO JV LWQ U AE IZKZAZC, U YW'Q FWO. (missing a consonant) lvl x) UNI ARLOGMS '95 CRLLIA OPOJ O LIOW NSLLSLBNSP. O GHZI POLD EHTLOUJ YIIWHGM OWW UNLSRMN JSRL MRUUHPRUB. (nothing missing, except logic - you'll see) Edit: I should note that each example has an entirely different encryption (maybe)

Brandonb, i would like to thank you for getting me into these! i never tried them before. i'm getting pretty good at them, but when i first see them posted they are always solved (which is why i haven't posted on these topics before). i not only wanted to post my thanks, but i also have a question for anyone reading this: can anyone solve these just by looking at them? i would be very interested to know if that is a feasible goal.

it's an american cartoon that is extremely funny (to me at least) and is also excellent satire of anything that has hit the mainstream. it's also very crude and not for the squeamish. they have pretty much done everything you could and would never think of in terms of grossness and bad taste, but it's done intelligently, not just for spectacle. on a side note: how bad is Bleach right now?!... wow. this is by far the worst filler i've ever seen in anything <_< just fyi: filler is when a show adds segments to the original author's story in an effort to prolong the show due to popularity, money, etc... usually filler is bad because it wasn't made by the series' author (the creator, writer, artist of the manga [manga is the original comic books, graphic novels, etc...] usually), but in Bleach's case right now... jeez. this filler is really bad.

Ergo Proxy was pretty sweet indeed. It looks like I have to put Baccano! and RahXephon on my must-see list now I just finished Shakugan no Shana which was really fun and creative, but nothing mind blowing. The next one I'm gonna check out is called Slayers. Another couple of great ones I didn't mention are Elfen Lied, Gantz and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (I know that's a rather girly one, but I thought it was amazing, fun and just really well done)

Back to the real corniness: How do dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus checks. How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair. How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk. How does a pig go to hospital? In a hambulance. If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor? Silverware. What did one elevator say to the other? I think I'm coming down with something! What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive. What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas. So what did Delaware? Her New Jersey. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It's time to go to sweep. What did the necktie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while. What did the rug say to the floor? Don't move, I've got you covered. What do bees do with their honey? They cell it. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. What do you call a song sung in an automobile? A cartoon. What do you call the best butter on the farm? A goat. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A brick layer What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia! What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? Bugs Bunny. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook? Wet feet. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover? A rash of good luck. What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad. What has one horn and provides milk? A milk truck. What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer. What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? Don't wake it up and sleep somewhere else. What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats. What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs. What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede. What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car? A red carnation. What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? A pink car-nation. What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars? An in-car-nation. What's round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle. Why did the doughnut shop close? The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

137'5 533 |-|0w (r4zy 1337 5p34k (4|\| r3411y g37: jugg3r|\|4u7 (011id3d wi7|-| 4 50m|\|4mbu1i57 bu7 |-|4d 4 kudur b4dur du3 70 7|-|3 4g4guri. |-|3 |-|4d 4 10g4|\|b3rry 4|\|d u53d 70 u1u10 4107. T|-|i5 i5|\|'7 j4bb3rw0(ky r357 455ur3d. 134v3 u'r3 bumb3r5|-|007 47 |-|0m3 w|-|3|\| i 54y 7|-|3 |\|3x7 w0rd if u |-|4v3 |-|ipp0p070m0|\|57r0535quip3d41i0p|-|0bi4. i7'5 S050f3r7ufiru1i7i(4|\|73m3|\|73 4|\|d i 7|-|i|\|k i7 m34|\|5 5i|\|(3r31y y0ur5 B)) B))

These aren't very scientific, but still fit the topic methinks:

thanks! a little from column A a little from column B. the ones i posted today were almost entirely non-original though

I like it! great time waster

yeah, but that would be the start of his death Sum wurdz ov wizdim: Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!" My Reality Check bounced. He who has, so shall he who. I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving. Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out? Politicians and diapers have a lot in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it. Dijon vu - the same old mustard. My inferiority complex is just not as good as yours. I plan on living forever. So far, so good. A day without sunshine is like night. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm actually quite busy. as many as it takes well, I cut out all the raunchy ones from that list of jokes, but I guess I left in the perverted ones . my apologies if any of those are offensive. here's some that can't possibly be offensive (unless you're a die-hard engineer) YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your video card is a moral dilemma Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling You bought your wife a new motherboard for her birthday You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects You even save the power cord from broken appliances You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts You spent more on your self-made PC's case than on your wedding ring You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa) You window shop at newegg and cdw You're in the back seat of your convertible, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite You know what the geosynchronous satellite’s function is Your checkbook always balances Your laptop is prioritized above your car Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work and seldom asks You've calculated how much you make per second You've tried to repair a 5$ radio but instead wound up using the parts for an old discman You have a member card for the local gadget store that your neighbors have no idea exists

Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the easiest to get? A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO" Q: What do you call a one legged dog? A: It doesn't matter, he wont come anyway. Q: Why can't they have sex ed and drivers ed on the same day in Arkansas high schools? A: It's too hard on the mule Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: What are you shaking for? She's going to eat me! Beer Belly was the original term for a gas tank for a sex machine. Q.How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It's not hard. Q: Did you know that there is a food out there that will stop a woman from wanting sex? A: Its' called "Wedding Cake" Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it! Q: Why is duct tape like "The Force"? A: Because it has a Light side and a Dark side and it holds the Universe together. Q: Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? A: They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them. Q: What do you call a deer with 20/20 vision? A: "Good-eye deer" Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: A happy pit-bull Q. What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls? A. Sparky Q: What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? A: You can't hear an enzyme. Q: What's the definition of an Impotent Loser? A: A guy who can't even get his hopes up. Q: What's the difference between a leach and the IRS? A: The leach will leave you alone when you die Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? A: He's all right now. Q: What did one vampire lesbian say to the other? A: See you next month. Q: Why did they kick the midget out of the nudist colony? A: He kept sticking his nose in everyone else's business Q: Do you know what the height of mixed emotions is? A: Watching your mother-in- law go over a cliff in your brand-new Porsche Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A. She is the one who can eat the last donut I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather did ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. "I have the perfect wife. She is an Angel" "How lucky for you. Mines still alive." Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7, 8, 9. !!!!!!!!!! (so old, yet so good) Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: Because he didn't have any guts Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down Q: What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A: A submarine Q: What is the ultimate rejection? A: When your hand falls asleep Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? A: Sanka. Q: What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? A: Iceberg. Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa

Here's your sign. -I'm totally just kidding

oh please.... I'd say more but I'd rather you just didn't read my topics from now on or at least refrained from posting on them. kthxbi

yep

If you cut me I'll be injured, similar to you, But you'd find out my secret and get covered in blue. My sight is quite unusual, and I don't mind the cold, Under the moon's light, I seek a quick mate to hold. If I could speak to my lover, I'd say it was true, That my remarkable gaze is only for you. Not much bothers me, I'm quite easy-going, See me without time as if evolution stopped flowing! I didn't write this one, but I did re-write it so that it would be difficult to search

this is a great one! whoever voted it 1* needs to take jokes a little less seriously

This is true and one of the hints, but there are actually 2 more hints in the Topic alone! Great tries everyone, but here's the answer:

Shrek was indeed magical, but not where I was going. I think it may soon be time to put this one to rest. I'll post the answer tomorrow unless anyone protests. Here's the last hint I can think of: