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René Descartes was flying home from a conference when the flight attendant asked, "Monseur Descartes, would you like a cocktail?" To which the philosopher replied, "I think not," and promptly disappeared.

Three hots and a cot.

"Just Say No!"

Not sure if there's a difference between "offence" and "offense". . .

Not sure about the first word. . . Sorry to hear about losing your job pg. Hope things are going well with your new business.

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?” The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

... he learned the race isn't a potato sack race