Evil Genies

[mmiguel]

I thought this might be fun, but maybe it will flop.

A person finds a magic lamp with an evil genie inside.

The person may ask for any wish to be granted.

The genie, spiteful for having to serve a pitiful little human with his phenomenal cosmic powers, wants to make his master regret every wish that is made.

Posters, assume the role of either the genie of the human.

Rules:

I. Both genie and human are powerless to change these rules

II. As the human , you should wish for something that most people would actually find desirable.

III. Everything the human explicitly wished for must come true, and all harm (physical, mental, psychological, ...etc) that the spiteful genie inflicts should ultimately derive from a creative interpretation of the wish (e.g. deliberately ignoring common implications in speech that are not explicitly stated, or taking things out of context, ...etc). E.g. it's cheating if a person wishes for a million dollars, and the genie gives him a million dollars and also dumps a bucket of lava on his head (lava has nothing to do with the wish). It's not cheating if a person wishes for eternal life, and the genie prevents them from ever dying, but allows their body to to continue to age and weaken normally forever into some grotesque shamble that doesn't even look human - in this case, the person's eventual regret derives from making the wish in the first place.

IV. The genie cannot control his master's mind. This may sound good for the master, but it prevents the genie from being able to grant wishes like: I wish to always be happy forever.

V. Off limits: Wishing for more wishes, wishing for multiple things in one wish. The wish should be one thing possibly followed by further clarifications that specify the one thing. Cannot undo wishes.

Challenge:

Humans: Find an uncorruptible wish.

Genies: Corrupt every wish

Let's see who wins!

Here's one to start with:

"I wish to be the most intelligent person ever"

Edited September 18, 2012 by mmiguel

[Kikacat123]

Granted. There is such a procedure. However, being so valuable, it costs more than America's current national debt and is therefore unaffordable.

[Orange Fiend]

I wish that I got whatever I want on my command.

[Orange Fiend]

I wish there was a object that could produce easily usable energy for eternity smaller than the palm of my hand supplying earth with it's power without anybody knowing.

I'm not sure if this is more than one wish or am I just elaborating on my wish?

"The only thing to fear is fear itself" -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Edited March 24, 2013 by Orange Fiend

[phaze]

Granted, I has already been running for thousands of years

I wish I knew what this button on it did...? {queue enevitable worldwide power cut}

[flamebirde]

granted, its use is to destroy everyone who knows about its use in a painful death.

I wish that everyone knows all grammar rules and spellings of various words of English perfectly and uses the knowledge of grammar and spelling in all circumstances in which it is required of them to use the English language.

[phil1882]

granted, everyone spells and punctuates correctly, as if they were speaking with a severe southern drowl. (ya'll come back now, ya' hear?)

[phil1882]

i wish i was a dolphin.

[Kikacat123]

Granted. But it may have been a better idea to be near some water before you wished that.

[Dasha]

I wish that I got whatever I want on my command.

Granted, your every thought every command, and every desire will come true. just make sure you never tell any one you hate "f*ck you"

[Dasha]

I wish that we all lived in a utopian society.

[Aaryan]

Granted - we lived in it, now we all died and are in a dystopian hell.

I wish that from the exact moment in time that I complete this requested wish, and all time in the future, that I have the power to grant wishes that are requested by myself and myself only, with no obligation to grant wishes to or assist any other object, living or dead, past, present, or future, in fulfilling their wishes; in such a way that all of my wishes are interpreted by me, with absolutely nothing about myself, and all of my attributes changing upon completion of this wish, nor those attributes of anything in the universe; however, that being said any wishes I grant myself to have the ability to change things in the world, purely by natural happenings without interference by yourself or any other malevolent factors.

[phaze]

Granted - Congratulations you are now god of your own seperate universe, pity you had to forgo all attachments to this one (yes, including your car)

The only way I can think to be able to communicate to you that your wish would be granted is...

I wish Aaryan (sans-powers of a diety) was back in this universe (dystopian hell) so that I may tell him his wish was granted

[flamebirde]

granted, but he still has the epic kung-fu skills he learned in this other dimension. Aaryan does not take well to being trolled.

I wish for a way to insure that I cannot suffocate inside of a block in minecraft, with a condition that this solution doesn't include me not being able to play minecraft.

(in case you don't get the above wish, google minecraft block suffocation).

[phaze]

Granted, You now cannot do any of the following all of which could potentally lead to conditions where you might suffocate

• Stand under sand or gravel
• Ride a Boat, Minecart or a pig
• Stand near a sapling or a mushroom.
• Kill an Ender Dragon.
• Use a Piston at head height
• Throw an Ender Pearl
• Sleep in a bed

I wish you to enjoy your hacked version of minecraft

Edited May 14, 2013 by phaze

[BMAD]

I wish that my wish be granted

[BMAD]

I wished that my bad a$$ lawyer negotiated fair wishes from the genie (thank you Fairy Odd Parents )

Edited May 14, 2013 by BMAD

[flamebirde]

Granted, your lawyer negotiated fair wishes from the genie, at the price that he gets all fair wishes. His first wish is to see you fall into a sea of lava, while at the exact moment of you touching the lava lightning strikes you.

I wish that people would stop posting two or more wishes at one time.

[BMAD]

Granted: the evil genie forever makes all wishers post thousands of half wishes

serious, sorry for double posting wishes

[BMAD]

I wish i knew what to wish for.

[Aaryan]

You do, now you blew your only wish.

If this game is played for an objective, then everything I said before (that is © by me, right?) but I am me, in my life, in my universe.

If it's just for funzies, I wish I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.

[ShadowAngel7]

Done, you're up in the air....but physics just kicked in and those dragons can't possibly carry your weight so both you and the dragon plummet to the earth. (I mean, come on, they're what, 4-5 feet tall with the same wingspan? No way they can get enough lift for someone to ride them)

EDIT: And I wish for the ability to manipulate space/time such that I can teleport or time travel by a coordinated thought, with the inherent ability to ensure that I wind up in the time/location I wish, without risk of arriving mushed into any other solid matter, missing the planet, losing anything necessary (from intestinal bacteria to clothing), or getting my molecules harmfully scrambled.

Edited May 17, 2013 by ShadowAngel7

[Aaryan]

Granted - you do exactly that. However, remember - when you teleport, your molecules are not moving. Instead, your clone is made out of molecules at the end point, and you yourself are destroyed. If you look at it like that, to everyone else you're normal, but your "soul" or consciousness is destroyed. The person at the other end is you...but not you.

As for time travel, where do I start? You step on a bug, when you come back the Earth is ruled by rabbits and you are executed by chief Hare-ey.

I really want to go back to my original wish here http://brainden.com/forum/index.php/topic/15355-evil-genies/?p=332033

Since technically I'd still have my God-Powers in the dystopia and I dispute the fact that a wish made after mine changes the effects of mine.

[phaze]

Granted, however you never know it is granted as you never receive this message so you live life as normal, forever quite unaware that you could move the location of Jupiter with a mere thought.

I wish that Aaryan would see the movie "Sphere" and then reconsider the wisdom of being endowed with god-like powers.

Edited May 21, 2013 by phaze

[dyalDragon]

Granted, however you never know it is granted as you never receive this message so you live life as normal, forever quite unaware that you could move the location of Jupiter with a mere thought.

I wish that Aaryan would see the movie "Sphere" and then reconsider the wisdom of being endowed with god-like powers.

Granted. He saw the movie, and the powers and ideas he witnessed were so awesome that he spent his entire life striving to gain similar powers. After decades of effort he finally achieved his god-like status, and upon doing so he traveled back in time and replaced the original script of "Sphere" with one that would deter others from taking the same path as he, therefore preserving his uniqueness and protecting his powers from those who would try and stop him.

I wish I had some cookies and a glass of milk.

Edited May 21, 2013 by dyalDragon

[BobbyGo]

Granted. A platter of cookies appears before you. They are the most delightfully delicious cookies ever created. They also cause instant death upon consumption. The glass containing the milk is shatter-proof and has no lid.

I wish, with complete control on my behalf, to be perfectly fluent in every dialect of every language, real or made up. This applies to both written and spoken languages and does not cause any diminished performance of my senses, cognitive functions, or other abilities.