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I'm not a defeated general


plasmid
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With ruffled garb I stood adorned

Preparing to suit up in armor

Alert the troops we've been forewarned

It's time now to earn yourselves honor

My cherished horde could not advance

All fell to the sword by the score

Not one among them stood a chance

I'm grateful we didn't send more

I've never witnessed carnage such

With carcasses flung all around

The bloody rain streamed down so much

So fast that I feared I would drown

The rest would not formation keep

They ran just as far as they could

But now they evermore shall sleep

It did them all quite little good

In battle thus I had been spurned

The odds of a victory zero

Perplexing though, I then returned

To greetings befit for a hero

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First post on this addicting site, may as well take a stab at this.

Football player?

Have to say, I have developed somewhat of an appetite for these riddles after reading through many.

Well done plasmid.

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Thanks for the kind words, Xavie, and welcome to Brainden. I didn't have football in mind when writing this one, but going back and looking over it with that answer in mind I see how the clues could be interpreted in a completely different way to make it work rather nicely, refering to running backs then linemen getting blitzed and then receivers. Surprising to find an alternate answer with a riddle this long. (Well, maybe not since I wasn't expecting one given the length and therefore didn't bother planting things to rule out alternates.) I'll accept it and of course leave the riddle open to look for the answer I had in mind.

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Sniffing around the right territory. The ruffled garb could potentially point to the little fancy foot coverings you occasionally see on a turkey. Gravy could be the runny stuff, although the bit about "now they evermore shall sleep" wouldn't make as much sense with that interpretation. A bunch of the other clues would require invoking other components of a dinner to make them fit, like red wine to account for a bloody rain... a holiday dinner could be made to fit, but I'm looking for something that's not quite so broad.

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I'm really not that sure that this is correct but I'll guess.

Could you be playing a chess game and all of your pieces are killed except for the king. Then you somehow kill your opponent's king with yours.

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Not a video game reference. Perhaps there's one out there that will fit this description, but it's not what I had in mind. I tend to avoid such topics as my answers if it seems like something that a fair fraction of the population wouldn't be familiar with. I consider clues to be fair game to be pretty obscure, but not the answer to the riddle.

And for similar reasons, I wouldn't dare to write a riddle about a chess maneuver that's completely impossible.

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âllo plasmid, çava? been mulling over this one for some time now tho today am a little challenged. come to a point where I need to purge so...

thinking along the lines of a juicer but the ruffled garb seems to point at something more specific so thought maybe grape juice with those little curly tendrils atop each bunch and maybe like in making wine (could just be evidence of the residual effects of the eve). or maybe a coffee maker that grinds the beans and all so you would be thankful not to overfill and the filter could be ruffled...

phew, will keep mulling.

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Guesses from some of the senior solvers are getting parts of it but not quite all. The ruffled garb would work against fireworks, falling to the sword goes against a grape related answer since they're usually plucked, and I can't figure out how the part about the rest running and not staying in formation would fit with wedding flowers. I'm having trouble fitting the fourth stanza with coffee brewed from freshly ground beans -- the third stanza's bloody rain would have referred to the brewed coffee so it seems like maybe the fourth would have to refer to grounds being poured into the filter, but then it would come out of order and not have a great reason why it's being referred to as "the rest".

I think that actually covers most of the clues in the riddle, aside from the one about carcasses.

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I can't get a palm tree to fit all the clues, which I'll get into a bit more detail about below.

Maybe it's time for a hint, and breaking it down to a list of the main intended clues seems like a good way to go.

Has ruffled garb

Component that’s cleaved by the sword

Bunch of carcasses thrown around

Lots of bloody rain

Component that breaks formation and runs a bit and then stops

Gets into armor at some point (was preparing to at the beginning of the riddle)

Receives a nice greeting at the end of it all

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They're on the right track. I didn't have champagne in mind; I'm not sure what the ruffled garb would be referring to (although I'm admittedly not terribly familiar with the stuff.) Pie a la mode could definitely have a ruffled crust and fits the clue about getting into armor and having a component that will run for a bit (although once it's melted it doesn't really permanently stop running), but the bloody rain I would have some trouble fitting. I typically make my pies by dumping a bunch of apples (or whatever the filling may be) into the crust with a ton of sugar mixed in... I'd have to look up how the instant mix types are made and see if maybe a cherry pie would involve pouring a thick red liquidy mixture into the crust.

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Could it be a rose bush being pruned? The Red blooms being cut. The bloody rain is the red petals falling. The sword being the scissors. Carcasses are the dead flowers that have been cut off. One beautiful rose remained?

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They're on the right track. I didn't have champagne in mind; I'm not sure what the ruffled garb would be referring to (although I'm admittedly not terribly familiar with the stuff.) Pie a la mode could definitely have a ruffled crust and fits the clue about getting into armor and having a component that will run for a bit (although once it's melted it doesn't really permanently stop running), but the bloody rain I would have some trouble fitting. I typically make my pies by dumping a bunch of apples (or whatever the filling may be) into the crust with a ton of sugar mixed in... I'd have to look up how the instant mix types are made and see if maybe a cherry pie would involve pouring a thick red liquidy mixture into the crust.

:offtopic: Solely for your culinary edification - Canned pie filling does indeed have a thick, gelled liquid. Most any berry pie/cherry pie will involve red hues, and when hot out of the oven the liquidy filling will ooze out when cut into. Once it cools & gels, it firms up nicely. The ice cream was simply a necessity to go with hot pie ;) - otherwise you'll burn your mouth & taste buds, & that is no fun! :P:lol:

(I don't want the holidays to be over! Need.more.pie.!) /offtopic

fresh margarita

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I kind of like the pinata answer as a whole different direction that this one could be interpreted.

But at this point I think this one may have been too vague or not included enough specific clues. I suppose the next hint after enumerating the clues would be to give an idea of what's meant to be taken literally versus figuratively.

The ruffles are quite literal.

The sword is a literal blade.

The carcasses are literal carcasses, or at least bits thereof.

The bloody rain is only slightly figurative, and the nearly drowning might not be too much of an exaggeration depending on the chef.

The part about breaking formation then running a little then stopping is fairly literal; the stuff initially has a form that changes a little bit in the whole process.

There is no literal battle, just the old saying about if you can't take the heat.

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But at this point I think this one may have been too vague or not included enough specific clues.

wouldnt say that at all, plasmid. think this has more to do with a slow stretch here in the den. have been considering several possibles but there's usually a line or two I cant quite justify. imo, that goes against your thoughts of this one being too vague and puts it right up there with your other excellent I'm not a's. will keep at it.

spiral cut ham, coq au vin, red velvet cupcakes, strawberry margaritas, beef burguignon, chicken pot pie

dont really care for the "shot gun" approach but also, like i mentioned, dont think these are all right. though I do like margaritas.

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A sandwich?

With ruffled garb I stood adorned lettuce

Preparing to suit up in armor bread?

Alert the troops we've been forewarned

It's time now to earn yourselves honor

My cherished horde could not advance

All fell to the sword by the score cut tomatoes, sliced cheese. . .

Not one among them stood a chance

I'm grateful we didn't send more

I've never witnessed carnage such

With carcasses flung all around some sort of meat.

The bloody rain streamed down so much tomato dripping or maybe ketchup

So fast that I feared I would drown

The rest would not formation keep

They ran just as far as they could

But now they evermore shall sleep

It did them all quite little good

In battle thus I had been spurned

The odds of a victory zero

Perplexing though, I then returned

To greetings befit for a hero hero sandwich?

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Sorry, been busy with work for a bit. A little more in the way of clues to narrow this one down...

Most people have been on the right track that the various clues refer to different components of the dish. The clues about things that are chopped and about some (literal) carcasses are not very specific for this, but are nevertheless components of it. The clues that are more particular to this thing are the ones about lots of red liquidy stuff, and something that will break formation and run a bit before setting. The ruffled stuff is quite characteristic of it. And don't forget to invoke the metal "armor" that will be used for a bit in the heat of battle.

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