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Brandonb

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Everything posted by Brandonb

  1. Here are a few home-made The economy is so bad that: -I charged my bank an NSF fee. -The new Twix slogan is 'None for me, None for you' -People are constantly getting creeped-out by the huge sad eyes on the money they are losing to Geico. -Even Repo men are looking for work. -Oprah begins every show looking her own seat. -The smiley was caught and jailed up for being an emoticonartist -I found an IOU at the end of a rainbow. -The Energizer Bunny got laid off... although he is still going. -Bank of America asked me for a line of credit.
  2. Brandonb

    Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there , holding the nickel and 3 pennies , while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her , she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because I wanted to point out the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
  3. Brandonb

    So, anyone watch the premiere yesterday?
  4. Brandonb

    Got this in an email recently... ENJOY! 1. There is a great need for sarcasm font. 2. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 3. Bad decisions make good stories. 4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 6. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. 7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again 8. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. 9. Was learning cursive really necessary? 10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. 12. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". 13. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! 14. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" 15. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? 16. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. 17. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 18. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 19. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. 20. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! 21. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible. 22. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... 23. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. 24. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. 25. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 26. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. 27. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. 28. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 29. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. 30. Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles... 31. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. 32. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 33. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood. 34. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 35. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
  5. Brandonb

    Chuck Norris Jokes

    Chuck Norris can do a Full Nelson with using only one hand. Chuck Norris drives a pickup truck upholstered in denim. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't merely kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum. Booze gains alcohol content after passing through Chuck Norris. The fight scenes in movies Chuck Norris is in are fake, but the people he fights get severely hurt anyways. Chuck Norris, unlike most people, is able to breathe in the vacuum of space. In fact, anything else would damage his respiratory system. Because of this, whenever he's visiting Earth, he wears a respirator, which resembles a kick@$$ beard. Chuck Norris isn't concerned when he brings a knife to a gun fight. Chuck Norris once could not find Waldo; they do not make those books any more. Many small children enjoy games like jump rope, tiddlywinks, and marbles. As a small child, Chuck Norris enjoyed killing ninjas with jump rope, tiddlywinks, and marbles. The the Geneva Convention specifically forbids the use of Chuck Norris in an international conflict. Chuck Norris doesn't bleed. The red is just a warning sign. There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris. According to the Book of Revelations, the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. This is because there was no Greek word for Chuck Norris. In order to speed up the wait time for death row inmates, Texas added 'death by roundhouse kicks' to the list of acceptable methods of execution. The wait has gone down from 7 years, to before you step out of the courthouse.
  6. Brandonb

    Masterword

    print email spoil tread
  7. Brandonb

    Masterword

    blackmail chameleon sentinels espionage
  8. Brandonb

    Masterword

    waterfall phonology trickster
  9. Brandonb

    Masterword

    important salvation guideline
  10. Brandonb

    Masterword

    currently threshold permanent
  11. Brandonb

    Masterword

    William starter listens sweater
  12. Brandonb

    Masterword

    letters spoiler gateway
  13. Brandonb

    Masterword

    Well I believe you're up Gmaster Is that counting the first however many game threads there were before this one was created?
  14. Brandonb

    Masterword

    aww man! by a few seconds! N1
  15. Brandonb

    Masterword

    short sweet sweat
  16. Brandonb

    Masterword

    Yeah, I'm still getting impossibly--xxoo accomplish--ooooo from the spreadsheet, but the other two you said have now corrected... odd sorry!
  17. Brandonb

    Masterword

    xxxx...lots of x's You got it!
  18. Brandonb

    Masterword

    downloaded--ooo controlled--ooo superduper--xoo strengthen--oo completion--ooooo subscripts--xoo addictions--oo suspiscion--xoooo accomplish--oooo directions--oo confuddled--oo empowering--ooo outreaches--oo punishment--xooo monolouges--oooo moonwalked--ooo principals--xxooo preemptive--xoo primitives--xxo exaggerate--__ impossibly--xxoo
  19. Brandonb

    Masterword

    downloaded--ooo controlled--ooo superduper--xoo strengthen--oo completion--ooooo subscripts--xoo addictions--oo suspiscion--xoooo accomplish--oooo directions--oo confuddled--oo empowering--ooo outreaches--oo punishment--xooo monolouges--oooo moonwalked--ooo principals--xxooo preemptive--xoo primitives--xxo exaggerate --__ That should provide some great help
  20. Brandonb

    Masterword

    downloaded--ooo controlled--ooo superduper--xoo strengthen--oo completion--ooooo subscripts--xoo addictions--oo suspiscion--xoooo accomplish--oooo directions--oo confuddled--oo empowering--ooo outreaches--oo punishment--xooo monolouges--oooo moonwalked--ooo principals--xxooo preemptive--xoo
  21. Brandonb

    Masterword

    I hadn't given it much thought, but I now clearly see that those guesses really are extremely misleading with the way they work out Keep up the good work though! I think this one is only tough because of how the clues turned out to be so confusing.
  22. Brandonb

    Masterword

    according to Cap's program, yeah. Lemme check manually real quick... Edit: There is not an 'x' for outreaches.
  23. Brandonb

    Masterword

    downloaded--ooo controlled--ooo superduper--xoo strengthen--oo completion--ooooo subscripts--xoo addictions--oo suspiscion--xoooo accomplish--oooo directions--oo confuddled--oo empowering--ooo outreaches--oo punishment--xooo outdoorsy = 9 letters
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