Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 - If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. - If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade...at any time of the year. - All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread. - The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. - Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. - A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a pretty nurse cleans his wounds. - When paying for a taxi, never look at your money. Just pull out a bill or two and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. - If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath even if it’s the middle of the afternoon. - All single women have a cat. - Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. - It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one. - When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. - Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them. - No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged. - If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. - All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off. - It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. - If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps and join in with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 I love these! You can see the Eiffel tower from every window in Paris! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 ,those are so funny! Luv this one: "If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps and join in with you." -When disarming a bomb, it can only be disarmed at the last second, no matter what you do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 -The dog and kid, no matter how weak, young or small, will never be killed -Bad guys have a tendency to explain their whole evil plan in detail, then leave, allowing the hero to escape <(^-^)> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 -It doesn't matter what country the film takes place in, if the director was American, there will be an American flag in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 -Bad guys have a tendency to explain their whole evil plan in detail, then leave, allowing the hero to escape <(^-^)> Luv when that happens! I'm always *bangs head against desk* everytime a baddie does that...and they call themselves evil geniuses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 Luvinit! - If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.I made some strange noises just to see how Mrs LIS reacted . You can see the Eiffel tower from every window in Paris! And a canal by every house in Amsterdam or Venice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 These are great. Here some advice: If you can't find a convenient exit jump through a glass window, you'll be fine trust me I've seen it done a thousand times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 - When talking on the phone, you are required to repeat everything the person on the other line says: Ex: Mr. G: *picks up phone* Hello? Mrs. L: "Help, I've been attacked by a muderer!" Mr. G: You've been attacked by a murderer? Mrs. L: You have to come right away! Mr. G: I'll be over there right away! Mrs. L: And don't tell anyone where you're going Mr. G: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone where I'm going <(^-^)> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 - When talking on the phone, you are required to repeat everything the person on the other line says: Ex: Mr. G: *picks up phone* Hello? Mrs. L: "Help, I've been attacked by a muderer!" Mr. G: You've been attacked by a murderer? Mrs. L: You have to come right away! Mr. G: I'll be over there right away! Mrs. L: And don't tell anyone where you're going Mr. G: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone where I'm going <(^-^)> You used Mr. G? Reminds me of Arjun's french project where mrg was the hero...good times Luv your mini convo!!!!! -When kidnapping, always gag your victim and tie them to a chair. Also, make sure they have some way of escaping or communicating to the outside world (ie. leaving victim with his/her cellphone) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 -If a hero is shot in the torso, it will take exactly the amount of time it takes to talk to their lover/buddie to kill them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 - When at a murder scene, you must make at least one pun about the body in question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 -All movies either require a ridiculously underessed female or a dark haired, sensitive guy who has a dog. <(^-^)> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 -All movies either require a ridiculously underessed female or a dark haired, sensitive guy who has a dog. <(^-^)> -Aformentioned sensitive guy will, undoubtedly, break aformentioned scantily-clad female's heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 -Aformentioned sensitive guy will, undoubtedly, break aformentioned scantily-clad female's heart. Agreed...too...many...chick flics -If you tell someone not to do something, and then some scary music comes on, you know they'll be dying within the next half hour <(^-^)> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 Agreed...too...many...chick flics -If you tell someone not to do something, and then some scary music comes on, you know they'll be dying within the next half hour <(^-^)> -when the telephone rings and you're home alone, you know you are in danger (especially when it ends up being someone trying to sell portable furniture... :o ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 All heavily muscled men will make bad one liners whenever they kill something (sometimes inanimate objects! ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 (edited) In a TV series or a Movie with cops in it: At one point the investigation will lead to a strip club. A cop that has just been suspended from duty will most certainly solve the murder or save the world. Edited December 16, 2008 by andromeda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itachi-san Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 -when in a car chase you must never shoot their tires. this will cause the car chase to end. -when stealing a car, even though you automatically know how to hot-wire it, always check the visor and the keys will fall onto your lap. -if you see something extraordinary, everyone who doesn't believe you will wind up getting killed by it. -if someone says something that seems out of place, they will wait until their death scene to clarify it. -pairing odd couples always makes for the best outcome -whenever it seems all hope is lost and the bad guy will win, someone has surely recorded one of their devious conversations and will broadcast it to everyone via loudspeaker with perfect timing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 - When running away, you are required to trip and fall at least once. - If you can exploit the baddie's innermost fear, he will instantly forget all contempt for you and you will be friends for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itachi-san Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 -if a detective has undergone 1,000 cases, but will retire within the week, this last criminal will surely kill him -but don't worry, because the inexperienced rookie detective will bring the villain down... -by removing a girl's glasses and letting her hair down she instantly becomes the most popular girl at school (disclaimer: I think it's hot when girls wear glasses, but that's beside the point ) -the only way for a mildly bad person to redeem themselves is to die for the good guys, usually unnecessarily -if you're sure that a meeting with a known felon will take place, it's a setup -main characters can only be hit by bullets from other main characters -the one time a trusted person who is often devious decides to do the right thing, he will not be trusted -if Mulder thinks it's true, Sculley will not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 -if Mulder thinks it's true, Sculley will not That was the constant we could always count on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 - If you run and then lean back on your heels, contrary to the laws of physics, you will skid for a few feet before landing gracefully back upright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 - if ever in a gun fight by yourself. Don't worry. No matter how many people are shooting at you (especially those with fully automatics) you will not get fatally wounded by any bullet (maybe just grazed) and each shot you fire will always hit the enemy in a kill zone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 (edited) - No matter where you are...If you are being chased by a deranged killer, your cell phone will never be able to pick up a signal (This is true for a single person or a group...Even with different service providers). Edited December 18, 2008 by Prince_Marth85 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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