Guest Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? 10: One to change the light bulb and the other one to explain binary. Unashamedly stolen from www.narrehat.dk via iGoogle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. That's a hardware problem. How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb? We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study. How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb? It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it? How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb? One. No, 2. No, 4. No, 8. No, 16. No, 32....... How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb? one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 How many Amish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, cuz they don't believe in electricity! Yes I made it up, that's why it sucks ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 How many Amish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, cuz they don't believe in electricity! Yes I made it up, that's why it sucks ;D how many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? God only knows..... yes i made it up and yes it sucks too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change. How many cops did it take to screw in the light bulb? None. It turned itself in. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, if they're small enough. How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I'm sorry...what did you ask me? ( Sounds like my mom.) How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 nice ones, jane! how many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? God only knows..... yes i made it up and yes it sucks too. Hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 20, 2008 Report Share Posted October 20, 2008 How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them. I think i heard this one before, wasn't it: How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, the world revolves around him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 20, 2008 Report Share Posted October 20, 2008 (edited) My favorite: How many Drunks does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight, one holds the bulb, while the rest drink beer till the room spins. Edit: sorry, double post Edited October 20, 2008 by RainThinker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 (edited) Different answer to the lawyer one Three - one to stand on the ladder to change the bulb, one to push him off, and one to sue the ladder company. Edited December 6, 2008 by MusicalMiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to get the ladder and another to climb it and pin the diaper onto the lightbulb. I know, it's probably not funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 How many blind people do you need to change a lightbulb? If they're blind they don't need to change the bulb, do they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 how many nut-cases does it take to replace a light bulb? two: one to replace the bulb and the other to fill the bathtub with tools Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Molly Mae Posted April 26, 2009 Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 Here comes a WoD/VtM one... How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 akaslickster Posted April 26, 2009 Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Zero. They need not change it, if it works after flipping the circuit breaker. SIKE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Three... one to screw it in and the other will tell him how much better Neil Peart could've done it. How many bass players does it take to change a bulb? Only one, but guitar players will keep hogging the light. Yes, I'm a musician. Duh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 How many light bulbs are required in the process of changing a light bulb? Two. One old one and one new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?Four. One to change the bulb, one to brag about how big the old one was and two to say they would have changed it, but "it got away" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted November 21, 2009 Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 I am a computer geek, so... How many Tech support people does it take to change a lightbulb? We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be 4 or 5 things wrong...have you tried the light switch? How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Bill Gates will just redefine DarknessTM as the new industry standard. How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world. How many Microsoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a lightbulb? We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days. If you call before 2 PM, and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don't forget to put your name in the upper right hand corner of the light bulb box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 tiger_lily111 Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 From a variety of sources ... None, they forgot to declare it first Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her. Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it! We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as managers can do to make the light bulbs work smarter, not harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Alternate answers: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb? 1. None. The lightbulb would never be dumb enough to ever burn out while Chuck Norris is arround. 2. None. Chuck Norris would just stare at the dead bulb and it would turn back on. Edit: Made these 2 answers up myself...Hopefully they don't suck too bad. Edited December 3, 2009 by Prince_Marth85 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 here's a couple of Go ones. how many 30 k Go players does it take to change a light bulb? none, you don't need light when you have no eyes. how many 20 k Go players does it take to change a light bulb? none, they can't find the ladder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 peace*out Posted December 18, 2009 Report Share Posted December 18, 2009 10 - 9 to vote on it, and 1 do acually change it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Magic_luver101 Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Stolen for Crimal Minds How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness None. They wouldn't change it, they would simply let the darkness exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 How many aggies does it take to change a light bulb? Five... one to hold the bulb and four to turn the ladder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? none, there's never one around when you need one. two, one to write the light bulb a citation for insufficient brightness and the other to watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
10: One to change the light bulb and the other one to explain binary.
Unashamedly stolen from www.narrehat.dk via iGoogle.
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