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How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?

10: One to change the light bulb and the other one to explain binary.

Unashamedly stolen from www.narrehat.dk via iGoogle.

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How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. That's a hardware problem.

How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark.

How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?

We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.

How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

How many can you afford?

How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. No, 2. No, 4. No, 8. No, 16. No, 32.......

How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

one.

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How many Amish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, cuz they don't believe in electricity!

:lol:

Yes I made it up, that's why it sucks ;D

how many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

God only knows.....

yes i made it up and yes it sucks too.

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

How many cops did it take to screw in the light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, if they're small enough.

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one

else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even

know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the

dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it

out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact

that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But

if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS

LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on

to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND

UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT

BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT

THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES

OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE

HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I'm sorry...what did

you ask me?

(:D Sounds like my mom.)

How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them.

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How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them.

I think i heard this one before, wasn't it:

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, the world revolves around him

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My favorite:

How many Drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eight, one holds the bulb, while the rest drink beer till the room spins.

Edit: sorry, double post

Edited by RainThinker

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Different answer to the lawyer one

Three - one to stand on the ladder to change the bulb, one to push him off, and one to sue the ladder company.

Edited by MusicalMiss

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to get the ladder and another to climb it and pin the diaper onto the lightbulb.

I know, it's probably not funny...

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How many blind people do you need to change a lightbulb? :blink:

If they're blind they don't need to change the bulb, do they?

:P

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how many nut-cases does it take to replace a light bulb?

two: one to replace the bulb and the other to fill the bathtub with tools

:lol:

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

Zero. They need not change it, if it works after flipping the circuit breaker.

SIKE :lol:

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three... one to screw it in and the other will tell him how much better Neil Peart could've done it.

How many bass players does it take to change a bulb?

Only one, but guitar players will keep hogging the light.

Yes, I'm a musician. Duh.

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How many light bulbs are required in the process of changing a light bulb?

Two. One old one and one new.

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How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb, one to brag about how big the old one was and two to say they would have changed it, but "it got away"

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I am a computer geek, so...

How many Tech support people does it take to change a lightbulb?

We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be 4 or 5 things wrong...have you tried the light switch?

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine DarknessTM as the new industry standard.

How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

How many Microsoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a lightbulb?

We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days. If you call before 2 PM, and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don't forget to put your name in the upper right hand corner of the light bulb box.

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From a variety of sources ...

None, they forgot to declare it first

Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her.

Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it!

We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as managers can do to make the light bulbs work smarter, not harder.

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How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark.

Alternate answers:

How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. None. The lightbulb would never be dumb enough to ever burn out while Chuck Norris is arround.

2. None. Chuck Norris would just stare at the dead bulb and it would turn back on.

Edit: Made these 2 answers up myself...Hopefully they don't suck too bad.

Edited by Prince_Marth85

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here's a couple of Go ones.

how many 30 k Go players does it take to change a light bulb?

none, you don't need light when you have no eyes.

how many 20 k Go players does it take to change a light bulb?

none, they can't find the ladder.

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Stolen for Crimal Minds

How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness

None. They wouldn't change it, they would simply let the darkness exist.

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How many aggies does it take to change a light bulb?

Five... one to hold the bulb and four to turn the ladder.

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Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.

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how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

none, there's never one around when you need one.

two, one to write the light bulb a citation for insufficient brightness and the other to watch.

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