flamebirde Posted May 18, 2012 Report Share Posted May 18, 2012 can you do better? I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryan Posted May 19, 2012 Report Share Posted May 19, 2012 (edited) Why did the verb break up with the noun? He was becoming too possessive. What is a will? It's a dead giveaway. Edited May 19, 2012 by Aaryan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamebirde Posted May 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2012 Heh, you should watch CNN student news. my friend does it all the time, and he's not even a student. just skip to the end, there's too many puns to count. what does pasteurize mean? it means too far to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabpig Posted May 19, 2012 Report Share Posted May 19, 2012 From "Ernie, the fastest milkman in the West" (Benny Hill).......... She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, "All right, sweetheart," And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart. He said, "D'you want it pasturize? 'Cause pasturize is best," She says, "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest." Diamond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Why did the cowboy walking into the bar have a weiner dog? Someone told him to "Get along little doggie." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 can you do better? I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Btw, I heard that joke before but it was with a Frisbee. Anyways, I was sad so my friend told me 10 jokes to cheer me up, but no pun in-ten-did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamebirde Posted June 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 ....... well played. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Mickey Mouse was in divorce court to divorce with Minnie Mouse. The judge says, " So, you want to divorce Minnie because she is crazy?" Mickey then says, "No, judge, I think misunderstood me. I want to divorce Minnie because she's Goofy!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamebirde Posted June 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 pencil sharpeners have a tough life. They live off tips. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 Atom #1: Oh my GOD! I think I just lost an electron! Atom #2: Are you sure? Atom #1: Yes, I'm positive!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamebirde Posted June 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 where do you get this stuff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 where do you get this stuff? My brain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brainiac100 Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 What did the man say after he lost a fencing match? Foiled again! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 Have you heard about the guy that got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's alright now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabpig Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 Atom #1: Oh my GOD! I think I just lost an electron! Atom #2: Are you sure? Atom #1: Yes, I'm positive!!! Oy! You nicked my joke ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 Oy! You nicked my joke ! Tbh I didnt even know that was there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EDM Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 Mickey Mouse was in divorce court to divorce with Minnie Mouse. The judge says, " So, you want to divorce Minnie because she is crazy?" Mickey then says, "No, judge, I think misunderstood me. I want to divorce Minnie because she's Goofy!" ...you missed a word...or maybe that was intended for 'innocent' audiences... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabpig Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 ...you missed a word...or maybe that was intended for 'innocent' audiences... Yeah I spotted that too. my square-faced friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EDM Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 I Iz no Square...I Iz Smiley!!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 ...you missed a word...or maybe that was intended for 'innocent' audiences... Yeah, basically . . . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Mae Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 pencil sharpeners have a tough life. They live off tips. I wouldn't show them too much pity--if they're good sharpeners then they make good tips... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCube Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Two men walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have some H2O?" The other says, " I want some H2O too, please." The second man soon died. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Mae Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Two men walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have some H2O?" The other says, " I want some H2O too, please." The second man soon died. =P I saw that on an xkcd comic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabpig Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Don't know how this'll translate, but what the hey.... The two longest motorways in Britain, the M6 and the M1, are in a bar having a drink. M6 is in boastful mood. "I'm the hardest motorway in Britain! Chuck Norris has nothin on me! I'll take on anybody.." With that, the bar door opens and in walks a thin strip of green asphalt. M6 suddenly ducks down hiding behind a table. M1 looks down at him. "What are doing cowering down there M6? I thought you were tough....scared of no-one?" "Yeah", says M6 "But he's a cyclepath" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Mae Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Don't know how this'll translate, but what the hey.... The two longest motorways in Britain, the M6 and the M1, are in a bar having a drink. M6 is in boastful mood. "I'm the hardest motorway in Britain! Chuck Norris has nothin on me! I'll take on anybody.." With that, the bar door opens and in walks a thin strip of green asphalt. M6 suddenly ducks down hiding behind a table. M1 looks down at him. "What are doing cowering down there M6? I thought you were tough....scared of no-one?" "Yeah", says M6 "But he's a cyclepath" There's a "one more for the road" joke in here somewhere... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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