My go at this:
1. Elvis Prestly vs. The Beetles ---- Beetles. Elvis is corny and doesn't withstand the test of time.
2. Sigmund Frued vs. Dr. Phil ----- Freud. All I know about Dr. Phil is that he's a waste of time. Freud's not a total waste.
3. Batman vs. Spiderman ------- Batman. He's the only worthwhile super-hero who is an actual person just being bad@ss, not reliant on super powers or mutations.
4. Beatles v Stones - - - We already did Beetles in #1, but I have to go with Stones: they made more songs I like
5. Madona v Diana Ross - Madonna. She's just always been hot and awesome, though I listen to neither of them
6. MS v Apple --- Linux. If I HAD to choose then Mac, because Windows is just awful
7. Catwoman v batwoman - ---- Catwoman is hotter, so her, but both are pretty useless
8. Duh Puk v the rest of the world ----- I don't know puk and I don't know the rest of the world, so I'll decide later =)
9. BrainDen v NE ridlemediddlme.com ---- BD any day of the week
10. Star Wars v Star Trek - Wars for me, but Jar Jar is pushing me toward the center of these 2
11. Football v Football - Soccer is sweet, but I love the NFL
12. South Park v Family Guy - Both are funny, but South Park is waaaay better
13. Mario v Zelda - hmm... Mario, but wow this is the closest one here for me.