JS, when I was given my role description from unreality, the part about the handwriting analysis stood out to me, so I started musing about how I could use hex-dash to my advantage. I pretty much made him do my dirty work. (He sent me what he knew about everyone, killed you (I had to send two notes to get this order carried out, because I forgot to specify a time the first time ), and sent the will I wrote to Rombridge's lawyers, which resulted in a necessary gag. Unreality never specifically said I could kill you, but he never said I couldn't, and I figured since I'm a murderer anyway..
Dude I had to kill you, you scared me. You were the only one (aside from maybe dawh and the inactives) that I couldn't make eat my every word. I had nothing to fear from Jiccochi, Mlaku, Serv, Mr Mc or Mrs Mc. Fleur and I had a sort of.. strange relationship, but I felt that he trusted me. You couldn't be manipulated, and had to go. I would have probably offed dawh too, if I didn't need him so much.
Oh, in case anyone was curious, here are the notes from me to Hex-Dash.
Note 1
Salutations, my little bot. Do not fret, I am aware that it is in your programming for it to be impossible to betray me. Which is why I require your expertise in communicating with humans to relieve my stress in this deplorable position. I need you to make a list of all your correspondents since my withdrawal to the panic room. I also need you to include the key facts you have discovered about them. I trust your discretion in what is important to maintaining my safety. I want you to place this list under the third tile from the exits nearest the stern (where my cameras tell me no one is) and make sure no one has a clue it is there. In fact, I forbid you to speak of the letter or otherwise hint of its existence. If it gets in the wrong hands, it might be the death of us all. I then want you to rejoin the group (make sure NO ONE sees you go over there), and continue communicating as usual. The letter needs to be there by 9 o clock.
Now, during your designing, engineers questioned whether or not to give you the ability to kill. They decided that, when it comes to matters of life preservation, the ability might come in handy. KILLSWITCH, ENGAGE. It has been turned on. I know you might be feeling confused or scared at your new ability, but it will only go to good use. You can only kill under explicit instruction from me. Disregard any orders you may receive from other people. When information surfaces, I may instruct you to carry out an assassination. Again, speak of this to no one and drop no hints.
Finally, use whatever means necessary to find out what Captain Fleur has Random Al looking over (he's here to assassinate a business man, and I'm afraid that that means me). This can be found out by talking to either of them. If they ask where you got this information, tell them you were given direct orders from me.
I know that may seem like a lot my little botling, but I have that utmost confidence in you. Remember to maintain a sense or secrecy about yourself. At the ten o clock hour, I will send further instructions to inquire about what you have found out.
Good luck.
Sincerely,
Master Professor Doctor Sir Martin K. Rombridge, Esquire
PS. Don't forget to apply your oils, I don't need you rusting on me.
Note 2
Kill Reno Starkey. Do this subtlety. Do not frame anyone else aboard this ship with this good riddance. He is involved in affairs that are illegal aboard my ship, including the attempted murder of me. By killing him, you will be handsomely rewarded.
Regards,
Master Rombridge
Note 3
Robot,
Upon receiving these orders, I command you to kill Reno Starkey IMMEDIATELY. From now on, any order you receive from me is to be carried out with the utmost speed, and you are forbidden from stopping to contemplate loopholes.
Also, I'm going to need you to contact the media. You are responsible for ensuring they are here before midnight to film anything that might go on.
Finally you are to in no way show any of these notes to anyone, hint at what it says on them, clearly state anything it says on them, or any other loophole there of. I am most upset with you.
Rombridge
Note 4
Robot,
From here on out, you are forbidden from contacting the ship's computer, hazarding a guess at my forthcoming murderer, contacting anyone aboard this ship or replying to their inquiries, leaving notes around, or using any means of social intercourse including but not limited to speech, sign language, flare signals, Morse Code, any language you've invented, mathematical cryptograms, recreation of these letters, and so forth. Failure to observe these rules set forth by your master is a violation of the Starways Congress law regarding the interactions between robotic servants and their masters. Your punishment will be complete annihilation, and as your master, this would be very upsetting to me.
Below I have rewritten my will, and I need you to transmit it to my lawyers on Earth, have them sign and agree to it, get it notarized, etc. My will is my personal property, and I forbid you from reading it or giving it to anyone besides my lawyers to read. The above rules apply. I know you are capable of transmitting messages without having read them. MAKE SURE IT IS NOT INTERCEPTED. You are not allowed to contact anyone and tell them to intercept it. If you recall, you're not allowed to contact anyone whatsoever.
Regards,
Professor Doctor Sir Martin K. Rombridge, Esquire (also vice president of a small African mining nation)
PS. You were an awesome robot. I will miss you very much. Thanks for your humble servitude