An Atheist was walking along in a forest admiring the result of evolution, when a bear suddenly started charging after him. he tried to run but soon it was clear he wouldn't be able to get away. suddenly though everything froze.
Then God spoke to him and said, "You have denied me your whole life, what shall you have me do now?"
the atheist replied, "Well i suppose it would be hypocritical of me to ask your forgiveness, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian."
God replied, "Very well.", and just as suddenly everything then unfroze. the bear stopped its attack. then the bear got down on its knees, placed its paws together and spoke aloud, "Dear Lord, thank you for this meal I am about to eat..."
a woman was on top of her house, trying to get away from a flood. realizing she wouldn't last much longer, she started to pray, "God please rescue me." after a couple minutes a person with a boat came by and offered her a way off her roof. she said, "No thank you I'm waiting for God to save me." then she prayed some more and soon a helicopter came by and offered her rescue. she said "No thank you I am waiting for God to save me." finally the flood waters rose to high and she drowned. when she got to heaven, she asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "I sent you a boat and a helicopter, what more did you want?"
three men were playing a round of golf, the first man, Moses, was up, he hit the ball, and it landed on a sloped hill and started rolling toward the water. so he raised his club above his head, the water split, and the ball rolled through onto the green. then the next man, Jesus, was up. he hit the ball, it landed on the sloped hill and started rolling toward the water. but instead of sinking, it rolled across the surface of the water and onto the green. then the third man was up. he hit the ball onto the sloped hill, and the ball started rolling toward the water. then a big frog jumped out and ate the ball. then an eagle swooped down and carried the frog. then lightning stuck the eagle, the eagle dropped the frog, the frog landed directly on the green, puked up the ball, and the ball rolled into the hole. Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "You know Jesus, I really hate playing golf with your dad."
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An Atheist was walking along in a forest admiring the result of evolution, when a bear suddenly started charging after him. he tried to run but soon it was clear he wouldn't be able to get away. suddenly though everything froze.
Then God spoke to him and said, "You have denied me your whole life, what shall you have me do now?"
the atheist replied, "Well i suppose it would be hypocritical of me to ask your forgiveness, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian."
God replied, "Very well.", and just as suddenly everything then unfroze. the bear stopped its attack. then the bear got down on its knees, placed its paws together and spoke aloud, "Dear Lord, thank you for this meal I am about to eat..."
a woman was on top of her house, trying to get away from a flood. realizing she wouldn't last much longer, she started to pray, "God please rescue me." after a couple minutes a person with a boat came by and offered her a way off her roof. she said, "No thank you I'm waiting for God to save me." then she prayed some more and soon a helicopter came by and offered her rescue. she said "No thank you I am waiting for God to save me." finally the flood waters rose to high and she drowned. when she got to heaven, she asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "I sent you a boat and a helicopter, what more did you want?"
three men were playing a round of golf, the first man, Moses, was up, he hit the ball, and it landed on a sloped hill and started rolling toward the water. so he raised his club above his head, the water split, and the ball rolled through onto the green. then the next man, Jesus, was up. he hit the ball, it landed on the sloped hill and started rolling toward the water. but instead of sinking, it rolled across the surface of the water and onto the green. then the third man was up. he hit the ball onto the sloped hill, and the ball started rolling toward the water. then a big frog jumped out and ate the ball. then an eagle swooped down and carried the frog. then lightning stuck the eagle, the eagle dropped the frog, the frog landed directly on the green, puked up the ball, and the ball rolled into the hole. Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "You know Jesus, I really hate playing golf with your dad."
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