[Guest]

So I mentioned something in another thread about licking a piece of glass that was a little weinerish hidden under the meniscus of my hot chocolate. That's a little embarrassing, as are 3 million other things I've done in my life. THEREFORE, here is a little thread devoted to silly things we all have done over the course of our lives. I will start off an post a REALLY embarrassing one so no one feels inhibited.

Spirit week, freshman year of high school. There was a pretty well known about rule - FRESHMAN WERE NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!! Well, four of us thought we were better than everyone else, so we went and each bought a large pack of toilet paper, not for its intended use. We were walking back from the store (down the subdivision's main street), each holding our 24 pack of Charmin, when a car stopped just in front of us. Four guys got out and started chasing us, and since we were too stubborn to let go of our toilet paper, we got caught pretty quick. As punishment, we were stripped of our clothes and Saran wrapped to light posts. That was bad enough, but even worse was doing the 1/2 mile walk of shame to the closest house and having the mom open the door.

Ok, this wasn't that bad (I have MANY more), so if anyone wants to get raunchier, I will match (I just don't want to, um, offend anyone)

[Guest]

i have already posted this elsewhere but its a really embarrassing story. (for my trainee R.E. teacher)

Anyway... We were studying the jewish festival of passover and, in pairs, we were given 7 cards with terms on like "maror" or "mitzoh" and we had to correctly match these with another set of cards that described the terms. My teacher then collected these cards in. So at the end of the lesson I was talking with a friend i sit by and my teacher presumed i was too busy talking to listen so she asked me what does "salt water" represent for Jews. As i seem to have this talent to be able to talk and listen at the same time, I heard this and recited the whole paragraph from the cards straight to my teacher. Despite this my teacher seemed to think this was a fluke and asked me another, again perfectly recited. And so on until i had perfectly recited 7 paragraphs from memory. When i had finished this my teacher just stood there without moving for about 1/2 a minute flicking glazes of amazement between me and my proper teacher who was inspecting at the back of the classroom who knows me rather well after teaching me for 3 years. By the look on his face he quite probably knew that this was coming when the trainee teacher asked me.

[Guest]

fourleggedfreak, I heart you, darling.

I have another more recent story.

A couple months ago I was checking out this brain teaser site and I saw a hilarious post by this one guy. Then I noticed he was in the same city as me so I decided to say hi. We started talking and texting and then one day he called me from work while I was leaving class and flirted with me unabashedly. So after we hung up I decided to text my best friend. I wrote "---- is flirting with me like crazy. I don't know if I would actually date him but it certainly is fun." But after I sent it, his name was on the screen. I thought there was no way I could be stupid enough to write a text about him, using his name, and send it right to him. I desperately sent texts to my friend begging her to tell me that I had just sent her a message. But she never replied. So I gathered all my thatchers and sent him a text asking if he had just received a message from me. After a long and painful silence he replied, "Yeah you goober" and then proceeded to question me as to who the friend was, thinking that he had been set up. It took a lot of convincing but I finally got him to accept that he doesn't know her. (I didn't know it at the time but it turns out that was a lie.)

It was embarrassing but it turned out really well for me.

Oh yeah, I've done stuff like that. I once did it to a best friend -- I was talking rather badly about them in and email to another friend... and I accidently sent it to the one I was talking ABOUT. oops.

Also for they know who: <-- this is a cross between a mocking smile, a raised eyebrow and an evil, knowing glare.

Edited May 7, 2008 by KarenClark

[Brandonb]

I had something similar happen once, though it wasn't in a text message. I attending this college, and I was trying to pick up this girl. Anyway, she and I got along great! but her roommate, I hated and she hated me. I don't remember why, she was some b!*chy blond chick that I couldn't stand. So one day I am at this restaurant on campus and as I am walking to my table I see her. I said hey and flirted with her for just a second. Then I asked, so where's that B*tch friend of yours? and OF COURSE I hear her voice say "are you talking about me?"

Well, she wasn't behind me, and she wasn't beside me... No, I could have played it off then. Nah, she was sitting next to the girl I was talking to... the entire time. She had dyed her hair dark and was wearing glasses, plus my attention was focused on the other girl so I never glanced the other way. So my eyes got wide, my face got hot, and my jaw landed next to the sandwich on the tray I was carrying. All I could muster was... "oh, wow, you look different" and then I walked away. It's strange, I don't ever talk trash about people "behind their backs" anymore. Because apparently I'm not too good at it.

Edited May 7, 2008 by Brandonb

[Guest]

That's pretty bad, Brandonb. Talking bad about someone who is right in front of your face. You were really not on the ball that day, were you?

[Guest]

I have a delightful poo story. Not my own, but I was there for it.

One day, my sister Chrissy, my cousin Delila, my friend Daniel, and I went out to lunch at Cheeburger Cheeburger. We all ordered essentially the same thing but Delila and Daniel put ketchup on their burgers, a move they would soon regret. After we ate, we were headed to the mall, but on the journey I realized I'd had too much to drink and we had to pull over at the nearest gas station. As soon as I spoke up, Delila chimed in too, sounding more urgent than me. As we pulled into the gas station, Daniel chastized us saying that anyone over 12 should be able to hold it. So we raced to the bathroom and Delila got there first. It was a one stall bathroom so I had to stand outside and wait. As I stood there, doing the pee-pee dance and contemplating the sky, I saw Daniel come running by the window, holding his butt and looking very worried. He ran through the gas station door and toward the men's room. I tried to warn him that it was out of order and he yelled, "I don't care!!!" and slammed the door behind him. After a very long time, Delila finally came out looking satisfied and I walked in and was struck by a brown wall of noxious fumes. She had lied about having to pee because she had been on the phone with her brand-new boyfriend and didn't want him to know that she was certain she was about to crap her pants. But I had to brave the stink to relieve myself and then Delila and I went out to the car. We waited for about 10 minutes during which time Chrissy told us that before he came running into the gas station, Daniel had been chatting with her, repeatedly farting, and trying to call his girlfriend on his cell phone. He finally got her to answer the phone but as soon as she said "hello" he farted, dropped the phone, yelled, "That's a pooer, that's a pooer!!!" and ran off. Just as she finished telling us the facts, Daniel finally came out of the gas station sans shirt for some reason (I think he got hot while he was pooing). I asked him about the bathroom being out of order and he said, "It is now." We all laughed about it and continued on to the mall. But Daniel was walking funny the entire time we were there and he kept going to the bathroom. At the time we thought he was just still sick but months later he confessed that he hadn't quite made it to the bathroom at the gas station in time and had had to leave his underwear there. At the mall he was walking funny and going to the bathroom so much because he was worried that we could tell through his pants that he didn't have a "middle man" to protect the world from his butt anymore. It was a tragic but fitting end.

This is one of my favorite stories, because literally moments after griping at us for having to pee, he crapped his pants in public and with the full knowledge of at least three other people (four, counting his girlfriend who heard him scream it over the phone).

[Guest]

Okay, I'm throwing another one down to try to kick start this thing, since I apparently killed it.

Last summer I had a new boyfriend, Stefan. We hadn't been dating for very long and one day we went out to eat and afterward we wanted to go somewhere where there wouldn't be so many people. I knew of a playground/park area that is called the Dead Children's Playground because it's near a cemetary. I had been there several times and it seemed pretty delapidated (no lights, no cut grass, falling apart) so I figured it was abandoned and I suggested we try it. So we went all the way to the very end of the road by the softball field and parked.

We hung out for a while and it got dark and we started hearing some very strange sounds like animals screaming from the trees nearby. So we decided it was time to leave. When we got back in the car we saw that it was after midnight. So we drove down the little park road to leave, but when we got to the end, there was a gate that I had never seen there before. We were locked in. There was a forest on one side of the road and the cemetary wall on the other. Stefan tried his best to lift the gate up out of the ground with his bare hands. By this time I had developed an annoying nervous cackle that I couldn't get rid of. So he was trying to hulk that gate and I was laughing like a moron, but there was no way we were getting around it.

However, I knew there was a security building on the other side of the cemetary and I could see that the lights were on, so I thought someone might be there. We walked all the way around the very big cemetary because, although it would have been quicker, we were not going to walk through the cemetary at night. Along the way, we apparently terrified a young, unhelpful married couple when we asked them for assistance as they were pulling into their driveway nearby. We finally made it to the building only to find that no one was there. So we gave up and called the police to break our car out of the playground.

We waited for a long time and eventually the security guard showed up because the police had called him. We told him where the car was and he drove there. But he made us walk. When we finally got back to the car he was waiting for us with another security guard and they did background checks and questioned us for quite some time as to how we managed to get trapped in a playground. I tried to explain to them that he was from another city and I had never been there that late before and had no idea that there was even a gate, but he refused to believe me. I don't know what kind of criminal activity they thought we were up to, but they kept searching around the car with flashlights and, hilariously, one of them slipped and fell in the mud while rudely leaning his butt on the car. I wished I could have enjoyed it more, but under the circumstances I couldn't laugh.

They finally let us go and we laughed about it all the way home, but Stefan missed his 1am curfew by a long shot and I'm pretty sure he was mad at me, though he never actually said anything. We stayed together for a year, but after that day, we never spoke of the incident again.

Now, I know someone else has a story to share. Get on it, people!

Edited May 29, 2008 by The Awesome

[Guest]

wow, I didn't realise how dull my life was until just now.

This probably isn't the worst thing I've done, but it was pretty bad, I guess, and the most recent

A few months ago I found out that a few of my best friends were in a band looking for a guitar player (they coulda told me earlier)

so anyways, I joined.

we had a few practices, and we were doing pretty good,

we were just starting out with covers, you know, like back in black and sweet child o mine.

well, we did our first performance in front of people at the school talent show.

so we were playing back in black, and during the solo, I did one of those "power slide" things toward the audience.

Well, I guess I overshot a bit, cuz I fell of the stage and landed on some sixth grader.

I was so in the zone, I was still even playing the solo, and the rest of the band was to,

so I climbed back on stage during the chorus

EDIT: I left out a few words

woo?

Edited May 30, 2008 by Ploper

[itachi-san]

Bout time I added something to this thread:

Couple years ago my friend and I were driving up to Canada to see a concert. On the way we got into an accident that only destroyed the front of my car and left the other car completely undamaged (which was good and bad) So a few hours later we pull up to the US customs and what do we look like? Shirtless, music blasting, my friend had dreadlocks at the time (doesn't anymore) and a Grateful Dead bandanna and a hemp necklace. We both had sunglasses on and the sun was already set and oh yeah, almost the entire front of the car was ripped off...

Needless to say, when we pulled up to the customs official all we got was a finger (index, not middle) directing us to pull over so they could inspect us and the car. I couldn't help but notice that we were the only white people that they pulled over, but that's a different story. Anyway, they came over all serious and angry and drilled my friend, convinced that he must be a drug dealer because of his hair. They then led a ferocious dog into my car, which then proceeded to rip the middle console out (there was car stuffing and foam everywhere like the beast had ripped a couch apart). The cops, though desperate to find drugs, came up empty and of course refused to apologize or fix my car. I didn't push too hard though; I just wanted to get to Canada by then and escape almost certain cavity searches, which thankfully we did.

One more obstacle still was lying in our way though. The Canadian customs. They were totally awesome, we all had some laughs and they let us right through

[Guest]

Not really that embarrassing anymore... (I'm still made fun of for this though) On my sixth birthday I got a diary for a present. I was so happy that I jumped up and down on the couch shouting, "I got a diaria!" My family let me keep thinking that was the actual word and I repeated it to my little friends at school... I still have some of them... They still make fun of me... lol

[Guest]

i made a classic embarrassing move one time. this is the kind of thing you see in movies. I called up a girlfriend and talked to her sexually for about ten minutes, until her mom revealed to me, i was not talking to my girlfriend at all. wait wait... it gets worse.

now this happened when i was a young teenager, and its important to know that i was a shy kid (around parents anyway.) And in situations where i was caught doing something wrong, i was terrible at making excuses. I felt the need to say something quick... but had no idea what to say.

So she said... "Uh, this is jill's mom."

I idiotically responded with "I know."

so now i have a mother who knows her daughters boyfriend is sexual, but even worse, is into her. and I have a girlfriend (soon to be ex) who thinks i want her mom.

[Guest]

I figured I might as well post on this. I don't usually get into these situations, but I can think of one recently that wasn't very fun, though not as bad as some already posted.

In my school 4 of our classes are blocked, so our schedule changes around each day. Well, ne day, the teacher decided to switch around some of the students in each block, thereby changing them entirely. One thing I probably should have mentioned is that there is a kid I don't like very much in my grade. He's incredibly annoying, and somewhat creepy (trust me, you don't want to know some of the wierd things he does, I'm just glad I didn't room with him on a trip we had recently). Thankfully he wasn't in my class currently, though he had been before. However, when they changed the blocks around I didn't want him in my class. I walked up to the posted bloks and saw that we were in different blocks, and I started yelling and I exclaimed how happy I was that he wasn't in my block (so I exagerrated a little). Then I turn around and there he is. I kindof stand there awkwardly, as he asks me why I didn't want to be in his block. I tried to explain, and apparently he didn't really believe me as he kept asking. Over the next week or so I tried convincing him that I was really just joking and meant nothing by it (I really didn't mean it like I said it, he's not that horrible). He finally stopped bothering me about it, but I don't think he likes me quite as much anymore. Hopefully he forgot about it. Oh well, what can you do. <_<

Edit: typos

Edited June 10, 2008 by Frost

[Guest]

I've got a lot of embarrassing stories, y'all. And this time I'm bringing it back down to low-brow humor with my own poo story. Hopefully it won't kill it like it did last time.

Summer before last, my sister Chrissy, cousin Delila, and I were hanging at Delila's house and her mom was making us drinks (a great mom really). We all ended up drinking a lot of vodka and getting pretty drunk. After much drunken conversation and a couple of fights called out (Chrissy's a mean drunk), we all fell asleep all over the living room at around 3am. But we didn't sleep for long. The next day was Saturday, and every Saturday we had to go to breakfast with our moms, our grandfather, and his friends at 6am. So we went and we were fine. Still a little drunk, but fine. We made jokes, ate our food, and went back out to sit in the truck and listen to music while waiting for everyone else to finish eating, like usual.

Now, it should be noted that the food at this particular establishment is some low-quality stuff and on any other Saturday we would have been filling the truck with a huge fart cloud and attempting to fight it with our ever-present air freshener (although that only made it smell like hot farts and daisies). But on this Saturday, the greasiness of the food and the volatility of the alcohol combined and percolated in our stomachs, and after a few minutes, we started hurting really bad and feeling really sick. And finally our grandfather and our moms came back to the truck. But we couldn't tell them that we were dying because we didn't want them to know we'd been drinking. So we suffered in the backseat in dead silence until finally my grandpa said he wanted to stop at the Dollar General to pick up a few things. We all choked out a few pained words of joyous agreement.

As soon as he parked, we all ran inside and went straight to the bathroom to have the worst booze poos of our lives. But there were only two stalls! And those two jerks got there before me!!! So I white-knuckled it in the corner and waited and cried as they blew away that bathroom. It was a race with the devil, a photo-finish if you will. When I finally got my relief, I bombed that toilet. It was so horrific, we were all afraid we might vomit as well. Afterward, we exited the bathroom and walked around the store, but we kept having to run back to the bathroom every so often. We tore that place up. At least one of the toilets was broken afterward, and a few of the employees gave us angry looks as we left the store.

[Guest]

So many, some I can't tell cos leaving out details kills it

Shortest one - went for a medical before being fully accepted for a job "Strip to the waste please" - I Didn't know he meant from the waste up - it's all those schooll medicals where they ask you to cough.

another short one - Met a blond and redhead who worked at a pub while i was studying. We hooked up after there work during a flaming June period and spent a long night drinking and getting to know each other but at 4:30 am decided to go swimming at the local girls school open air pool... we stripped and jumped in, we had no towels. They got out and I was somewhat excited but shy, till a voice called out and we all grabbed our kit, jumped the fence and ran like blazes.. They gave me a mug We had coffee the next day (well later that night) and they insisted I have the fruity mug

Third one - I was twenty six dating a healthy woman of 42 who had two grown up children, a girl of 20 and a son of 18. Neither had i met. The son came for an interview and i was the interviewee - he didn't get the job! Her daughter made friends with my daughter some 16 years later, which had me cringing every time they met at my house before clubbing

[Guest]

Bout time I added something to this thread:

I just wanted to get to Canada by then and escape almost certain cavity searches, which thankfully we did.

What, you cavity searched eachother!

[Guest]

So many embarrasing things to choose from. Hmm let's see.

I was about 17 and on my second date with a guy in New Zealand. He was trying to impress me and took me to a very flash nightclub. I was done up to the nines and thought I looked pretty darn good. The night was going fine and I was thinking that I wouldn't mind more dates with this bloke. Time to go home which, in hindesight, was thankfully on country roads. I had had way too much to drink and I wasn't feeling too well. I had to keep asking him to pull over but unfortunately each time he did I was never sick. He was great and kept asking if I was feeling any better etc. The final time I didn't have time to ask if he could pull over. I just leant across to the window and crack! The window wasn't open and I whacked my forehead. It was too late to stop and the #$%@ thing wouldn't open. I was absolutely horrified. It was all over the front of the car and me. I couldn't say sorry enough. When we got back to my place I made him get out. I still can't believe I did this! I hosed out the whole of the inside front. In the morning it all came flooding back to me and I thought, "Oh well, that's done it now" But that gorgeous thing rang me the next day to see if I was OK and did I want to go out that night! My utter humiliation was ended by this absolute gorgeos person.

[Guest]

Trying to give this thread the Heimlich once again. Like I said, I've lived an embarrassing life. Here's another one for you.

In a previous post I mentioned the Saturday breakfast I used to attend with my mom and grandfather and his friends. When we first started the tradition, it was at another restaurant in a more secluded area. As we did every Saturday, my sister Chrissy, cousin Delila, and I ate our food and went outside to wait for everyone else.

In warmer weather, we would have been chasing around the tiny little roosters who lived under their propane tank. But it was winter and said roosters were nowhere to be found. There was ice and snow all over the ground and in the parking lot (rare in Alabama) and there were several puddles covered in thick layers of ice. We, being sleepy and stupid and lacking any more thrilling entertainment, thought it would be fun to try to break the ice by kicking it. We all ganged up on one icy puddle and kicked until we were out of breath, but the puddle was kicking our butts, so those two losers gave up. But I was determined to show that frozen, arrogant jerk who was boss. As they turned and walked towards the truck, I continued to assault this iced-over puddle with my foot.

Suddenly I had a feeling of weightlessness and saw nothing but sky before crashing down and feeling hard, icy pavement on my back. I had slipped, become totally airborne, and fallen and, apparently, in my distress, called out to my companions who promptly turned around and laughed at me. But, I thought to myself, they were the only ones in the parking lot and they didn't actually see me fall. I thought I'd gotten away with it and I wasn't hurt so I continued to lie on the ground and laugh at my own stupidity. I did this for an unnecessary length of time before standing up to reveal a large cracked indentation in the ice in the exact shape of my butt. So I laughed at this too.

But my laughter ended when I realized we weren't alone in the parking lot. Less than three feet away from me, a ridiculously old man was getting out of his van and positioning himself in his own wheelchair when I fell. He had seen the whole thing and he was staring at me, mouth agape, like I was insane. So I ran off to the truck, mildly embarrassed, but thinking that one old guy didn't make a difference.

But apparently, one old guy does make a difference, because he went inside, announced to the entire restaurant that someone outside had just fallen, and pointed me out through the window. Then, to my much greater embarrassment, my mommy came running out to see if I was okay.

[Guest]

There is the guy i liked so i wrote him a very heart filled letter. He thought i was weird then showed it to a whole bunch of his friends ( we were in summer school i had to go the rest of summer school with ever one nowing about it

I am 11

[Guest]

At 17 and looking 15 (or less) i was at college and yes we liked to drink a bit and most places and 'yeomen of the bar' did not have hangups over age.. my turn to 'get a round in' so ordered the usual beers but went for the biggy for me - whisky - oh yes "and a whisky and lemonade pls" the barman wld like to no my prefered brand to ehich i replied

R-Whites if you have it!

Sad, but i did actually say it

[Guest]

I don't have any stories involving dates, fortunately....after hearing about some of the mishaps people have had during dates...but I have other interesting ones. Maybe two years ago I was out with friends and we were playing ring and run. After ringing one doorbell we suddenly realized there was nowhere to hide on the long, empty street. We were looking around frantically....when WE HEARD FOOTSTEPS INSIDE!!!!!!!! We opted for the one square foot of darkness in the shadow of a small bush and dove into it. The door opened, out came the entire family, and we suppressed girlish squeaks of terror and hysterics and tried not to giggle as they searched the yard methodically after calling out to see if anyone was there. We, of course, didn't answer. But unfortunately our muffling efforts were in vain, for the one square foot of darkness couldn't hide us and we watched in horror as they crossed the yard toward us. We were discovered and we had to get up and confess (though they already KNEW it was us. Who else would be hiding in such a stupid spot?) The worst part of it was that I had had a ongoing crush on the son for the longest time and I'd already made a fool of myself at least twice before. I hope he's forgotten that incident (and the others) since he still lives down the street and is my brother's best friend!!!

[Guest]

"Every day I ever spent with Gamma Phi was probably an embarrassment."

I want to start with a quote. You just read it.

So I joined this sorority for some gawd-awful reason when I was in 10th grade. My story isn't about rushing. Rushing was actually fun. The whole point of rushing is to make you not wear make-up and nice clothes, but I never did anyways. And they boss you around, but I didn't have an ego. And they pour goop on you, and... well that part sucked pretty bad. And they made you sing stupid songs and do dances, but I entirely enjoyed that part.

The embarrassing part was at a party a year later. Everyone was just hanging out, and I felt awkward and left out as usual. So I was bailing.

Standing outside someone's huge house in the grass, waiting for my ride, in what would be a pleasantly quiet nite, I had to endure some unwanted company. A fellow Gamma "sister" and her boyfriend were standing around trying to think of someone to call for weed.

They were acting... like high schoolers. So he picked her up so her legs were wrapped around him and kind of bounced her a few times. She wasn't sure how to react, so she goes "woo!" and then he put her down. I thought it was really stupid. What I was thinking was "You guys are douchebags."

What I said was "That was random." It made me uncomfortable. So I said something to try to break the ice a little.

The reaction I got was the girl turning to her boyfriend and saying, in an undertone, as if I wouldn't hear, "Don't mind her. She's weird."

I would say that the proceeding time in which I waited for my ride in awkward silence with them was the longest 5 minutes of my life, but it probably wasn't. It DID however, suck.

End.

[akaslickster]

My turn! I got over-served by the bartender and fell asleep on the bar. Then I got a ride home. Boy I felt

Edited July 16, 2008 by akaslickster

[grey cells]

What exactly are R-Whites ?

My turn to be embarrassed , I guess.

[akaslickster]

My turn to be embarrassed , I guess.

What exactly are R-Whites ?

I meant to ask him th e same question. HEY LIS ,,, ARE YOU AROUND??? mAYBE us white caucasian blooded born????? In some areas there are people that are not welcome in a bar because of their skin color which is stupid yet honest.

[Guest]

btw its a lemonade brand - I should have JD or Teachers - or anything but a lemonade brand

edit to add R Whites

Edited July 16, 2008 by Lost in space

[grey cells]

btw its a lemonade brand - I should have JD or Teachers - or anything but a lemonade brand

edit to add R Whites

Good Ad, that .

I would prefer a lemonade anyday to alcohol .