[Guest]

So I mentioned something in another thread about licking a piece of glass that was a little weinerish hidden under the meniscus of my hot chocolate. That's a little embarrassing, as are 3 million other things I've done in my life. THEREFORE, here is a little thread devoted to silly things we all have done over the course of our lives. I will start off an post a REALLY embarrassing one so no one feels inhibited.

Spirit week, freshman year of high school. There was a pretty well known about rule - FRESHMAN WERE NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!! Well, four of us thought we were better than everyone else, so we went and each bought a large pack of toilet paper, not for its intended use. We were walking back from the store (down the subdivision's main street), each holding our 24 pack of Charmin, when a car stopped just in front of us. Four guys got out and started chasing us, and since we were too stubborn to let go of our toilet paper, we got caught pretty quick. As punishment, we were stripped of our clothes and Saran wrapped to light posts. That was bad enough, but even worse was doing the 1/2 mile walk of shame to the closest house and having the mom open the door.

Ok, this wasn't that bad (I have MANY more), so if anyone wants to get raunchier, I will match (I just don't want to, um, offend anyone)

[Nikyma]

So I mentioned something in another thread about licking a piece of glass that was a little weinerish hidden under the meniscus of my hot chocolate. That's a little embarrassing, as are 3 million other things I've done in my life. THEREFORE, here is a little thread devoted to silly things we all have done over the course of our lives. I will start off an post a REALLY embarrassing one so no one feels inhibited.

Spirit week, freshman year of high school. There was a pretty well known about rule - FRESHMAN WERE NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!! Well, four of us thought we were better than everyone else, so we went and each bought a large pack of toilet paper, not for its intended use. We were walking back from the store (down the subdivision's main street), each holding our 24 pack of Charmin, when a car stopped just in front of us. Four guys got out and started chasing us, and since we were too stubborn to let go of our toilet paper, we got caught pretty quick. As punishment, we were stripped of our clothes and Saran wrapped to light posts. That was bad enough, but even worse was doing the 1/2 mile walk of shame to the closest house and having the mom open the door.

Ok, this wasn't that bad (I have MANY more), so if anyone wants to get raunchier, I will match (I just don't want to, um, offend anyone)

I'm sorry, gonna have to remove you from my friends list now.

[Guest]

This thread must not die. I'll jump in and confess...

I was once with a guy I rather liked. We hadn't known each other long and were just playing around. He was tickling me. A lot. I'm very ticklish. So he tickled me down to the ground and I accidently... farted. Oops. So as if i wasn't already mortified, the playing around continued and now he was on the ground and i might have accidently... drooled on him. On his face. LOL. It wasn't my best night. Come to think of it -- I'm surprised he ever talked to me again after that one. Not that he's let me forget it yet.

Whos next?

[Guest]

Okay, so this is kind of an old story but it's pretty much funny corny cute (?) and embarrassing. My boyfriend and I were sitting together on a bench and I had never had a french kiss before.

He comes up closer and kisses me and suddenly there's an extra toungue in my mouth. I jumped up and screamed, "O my gosh, where did that come from?" He's like, "Um my mouth," O my gosh my first real kiss was the most embarrassing moment with him. HE WON'T LET ME FORGET IT!

Next one... lol

[Brandonb]

Worst date in high school

I went out on a first date with a gorgeous girl, the valedictorian from the opposing high school (I think her name was Sarah). It was on a whim that I had asked her out, not really expecting a yes, but to my surprise I got one. Anyway, it was Halloween, there was a full moon that night. We went to a local place called the "haunted gardens", it's like a haunted house, but outdoors. It went excellently, then afterwards we decided to go to a movie. We hopped in my car and on our way to the movie we had a little time to kill before it started, so we decided to get something to eat first. We went into an Arby's fast food place, and that also went great. So then we leave, we're driving down the road and we here this scraping sound coming from under/behind the car, and the engine sounded louder than usual. Well I figure that someone must have been playing a prank and tied something to my bumper. So I turned into the next gas station, and as soon as I get off the road we hear a load KAH-THUNK! Then just the engine making a load BUUURRRRRRRRR sound! We looked at eachother like "what the $*&% was that!?" I drove straight ahead to the first parking space and stopped the car, never looking back... but she did. She turned around and starts making a fuss. Then I look out the window next to me and see everyone pumping gas looking behind my car laughing. So I turn around, and see the entire length (nearly 6 or 7ft) of my muffler pipe laying in the middle of the parking lot. We sat there, quietly, for days (it was probably really just a few seconds), not saying a word. Until I just told her to come help me grab it. We spent forever trying to fit that thing in the car, diagonally from the front passenger floor board to the seat behind the driver. She sat in the back passenger side seat while I drove her straight home. We never said another word to each other, ever again.

[Guest]

Ha! Very good stuff!

Farting and drooling on a guy?! Speechless :-P

And French kisses, yeah, apparently they involve some tongue action (although I almost thought you were going to say the two of you had started kissing when a squirrel came up and decided to add his tongue to the mix).

And it sucks when you go on a date, and the only pipe your date grabs is your tailpipe.

I'll add another one here, although it goes against my better judgment.

Sugar Bowl, 2001, it was LSU vs. Illinois. Friend and I were in New Orleans (and the biggest LSU fans there just so we could fit in ). Well, we were 20 years old, so obviously we were drinking like all 20 year olds in NO do. I consumed a bottle of Jaegermeister (yes, entire 750 mL bottle) - started during 1st quarter, finished it by 3rd quarter. I kept drinking (bad idea), and when we finally made it back to hotel, I felt need to take a bath. I am laying comfortably in tub when my friends tells me he needs in to poo. I say no way, and he kicks down door and hops on. It was the most horrid thing EVER. It smelled BAD, so bad that I vacated the room. Unfortunately, the door locked itself. Friend would not let me back in, so I went down to hotel lobby to request entry into my room. Luckily, he was a cool guy, and after I gave him my number, he let me in. (just kidding about the number part). Thank goodness it was 4 am or so and no one was around - it was New Year's Day and a little cold - "largeneal" was not "largeneal" that night

[Guest]

Alright, I called one of my friends from High School to help me think of some embarrassing moments to share. And I'll tell you what -- that's not a conversation you want to have. But now I know there are three categories of embarrassing moments throughout my life. They stem from 3 facts of my life:

1. I'm a huge pervert (These range from just embarrassing & funny to moments of questionable legality)

2. I come from a family of alcoholics (my friend who witnessed some of these seems to find them hilarious)

3. I was beyond morbidly obese for the vast majority of my life (these are just pathetic and emotionally scaring which I don't think is an area we're trying to take this thread) But hey, I'm "skinny" now! Woot!

If requested or if matched, I'll share one (or more) from any of the above. So drag out your moments, people.

And then here's one pretty recent one:

A group of 4 of us, were recently kicked out of a hospital AND lectured by a security guard on maturity levels. We were bored. We had never been on the hospital tram. It sounded fun at the time. So we go to the hospital and it's locked down. But we find this guy taking out the trash and sweet talk him and he lets us in. So thats when we go for the tram and just start riding it around the hospital. No one else was using it so it's not like we were harming anyone. And on about the 4th or 5th trip, the doors wouldn't open. This was around the time I looked up and pointed out that "hey guys, there's a security camera right there..." And then we hear foot steps. And then we get a personal escort to our vehicle all the while being lectured on how we were too old to be so immature. This was last year. There are pictures.

Unfortunately, his face is the best part of this picture and I had to blur that out...

[Brandonb]

Another for Highschool/Dating (short)

On a Friday I was trying to make plans for that night, so I called up this girl that I knew kinda liked me (I don't remember her name, lets call her Elizabeth). She picked up the phone and I started talking to her, she seemed a little hurried. So I cut to the point and asked her to go out that night. Well, she said no , because she already had plans. So, not willing to give up my Friday night, I tried again a couple minutes later. I called up another girl that I knew kinda liked me (Nicole), she answered the phone and I started talking to her. I cut to the chase and asked her to go out that night, and she replied "didn't you just ask out Elizabeth?" Turns out they were talking on the phone to eachother, making plans for the night. I beeped in on their phone conversation and asked out one of them. Then before I called the other one "Elizabeth" told "Nicole" that I had just asked her out. And well, no girl wants to be the fall-back. So yeah... I didn't do anything that night.

[Guest]

Okay... very embarrassing moment happened today... same guy... lol (I've been with him for a while)

We're like kissing and stuff in the school auditorium (conveniently empty ) and suddenly we hear my best friend saying "oooh that's hott!" from the stage. I look up and she's right over us. I get up overly startled and I racked him with my knee! AAAAGGGGHGHHH! He was in pain and I felt ssssoooo baaad! The worst part is that neither of them are going to let me live it down.

[Guest]

Another for Highschool/Dating (short)

On a Friday I was trying to make plans for that night, so I called up this girl that I knew kinda liked me (I don't remember her name, lets call her Elizabeth). She picked up the phone and I started talking to her, she seemed a little hurried. So I cut to the point and asked her to go out that night. Well, she said no , because she already had plans. So, not willing to give up my Friday night, I tried again a couple minutes later. I called up another girl that I knew kinda liked me (Nicole), she answered the phone and I started talking to her. I cut to the chase and asked her to go out that night, and she replied "didn't you just ask out Elizabeth?" Turns out they were talking on the phone to eachother, making plans for the night. I beeped in on their phone conversation and asked out one of them. Then before I called the other one "Elizabeth" told "Nicole" that I had just asked her out. And well, no girl wants to be the fall-back. So yeah... I didn't do anything that night.

That's hilarious. Not very comfortable, huh?

[Guest]

I really shouldn't be doing this..... Lord, there are alot I assure you. Alcohol consumption has made my life one big embarassing moment.

Recent story. I wen't out to a friendly work get-together. I didn't intend on getting drunk, honestly. I got a lil inebriated, my 21 year old cousin is not drinking and driving. K, so get together ends early, my cousin and I head out to this town miles and miles away, cause I'm "Not ready to call it a night yet". On the way I pick up a forty, a 12 pk and a 6pk (I couldnt decide what I wanted). We head out to this bar, Once there I fall outta the car, Dust myself off and walk in (with a beer tucked into my pants). At one point of the night I have to pee, so I go to the bathroom. At this point, nothing will stay still long enough for me to accomplish any task. I fall in the bathroom, in a sort of splits, legs to the side type fall. I can't get up! Finally after what seems like hours (prolly only 2 mins) I get up, wash my hands, get the heck outta there. Now, this night is way off character for me. Just outta a relationship, haven't been out in awhile or drinking, I go crazy. Upon leaving the bar (now this part is all witness based), I decide my pants just aren't doing it for me anymore. So, off they go. I also decide, it's attractive to pee on the side of the freeway. Other things that just aren't appropriate for this site. Needless to say, I wake up, No pants, No shoes, no socks, torn meniscus, bruises up and down my legs from multiple falls, and some guy calling me from the bar.

I honestly haven't drank since.

><

[Guest]

I really shouldn't be doing this..... Lord, there are alot I assure you. Alcohol consumption has made my life one big embarassing moment.

Recent story. I wen't out to a friendly work get-together. I didn't intend on getting drunk, honestly. I got a lil inebriated, my 21 year old cousin is not drinking and driving. K, so get together ends early, my cousin and I head out to this town miles and miles away, cause I'm "Not ready to call it a night yet". On the way I pick up a forty, a 12 pk and a 6pk (I couldnt decide what I wanted). We head out to this bar, Once there I fall outta the car, Dust myself off and walk in (with a beer tucked into my pants). At one point of the night I have to pee, so I go to the bathroom. At this point, nothing will stay still long enough for me to accomplish any task. I fall in the bathroom, in a sort of splits, legs to the side type fall. I can't get up! Finally after what seems like hours (prolly only 2 mins) I get up, wash my hands, get the heck outta there. Now, this night is way off character for me. Just outta a relationship, haven't been out in awhile or drinking, I go crazy. Upon leaving the bar (now this part is all witness based), I decide my pants just aren't doing it for me anymore. So, off they go. I also decide, it's attractive to pee on the side of the freeway. Other things that just aren't appropriate for this site. Needless to say, I wake up, No pants, No shoes, no socks, torn meniscus, bruises up and down my legs from multiple falls, and some guy calling me from the bar.

I honestly haven't drank since.

><

haha - I saw that video on YouTube. But, um, where did you hide the beer when it was in your pants?? I guess they'll have to do cavity searches on you when you go to the airport

[itachi-san]

Needless to say, I wake up, No pants, No shoes, no socks, torn meniscus, bruises up and down my legs from multiple falls, and some guy calling me from the bar.

Was it largeneal?

[Brandonb]

Was it largeneal?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

sorry largeneal that was funny.

Ok lemme do another, I'll do church camp this time.

I was approx 13-14 yrs old at the time, church camp, 1 week in the Appalachian Mtns in the fall.

So, there are kids from all over the place attending this camp, and there is only one other kid there from my church (Nick). As soon as you enter the doorway to go in to the cabin where we were staying, on the left is one small corner that has been walled off for the counselor's own room, and on the right is a small stall (like you would find in a public bathroom) with a toilet and a sink. The rest of the cabin was set up as just one big room with bunks around the walls. So when someone used the bathroom, you knew it.

To this camp I had brought some candy, with a special idea in mind... to throw the MilkyWay candy bar into the swimming pool and watch what happens. Well, to my dismay, the pool was emptied that week for some reason (probably because some kid did it for real the week before . So I know that I can't use my candy bar for its original purpose. Or, better yet, that I may have to use it for its original purpose, depending on how you look at it.

Anyway, on the 2nd day of camp, I hear (we ALL hear) my friend using the bathroom in the corner. All of us have a good laugh and then we get distracted by something else and move our attention elsewhere... except for me. I went back to my bunk and sat down by myself and waited. As soon as Nick came out of the bathroom I went in (not a pleasant place at that point). Then I pull the milkway bar out of my pocket, put it in the sink and squish it up a little, then bend it half-way over the toilet seat and quickly leave the room.

Not even two minutes later... "AAAAHHHHHH!!! Someone S#!T on the toilet seat!" (church camp mind you). It took all of 30secs for them to remember that Nick had just used the bathroom, and they all begin to berate and tease him for what he had done. He is absolutely MORTIFIED at this point! So in walks the camp counselor to see what's going on, and sure enough, he smells S#!t and sees it on the toilet seat, and begins to ask my friend Nick why he didn't flush it. Nick is so horrified and confused at this point he begins to say that he didn't even realize that he had done it. Meanwhile I'm rolling, laughing, hardly able to breathe. Because not only had I pulled the prank on my friend, but on the whole cabin. The counselor sees me, then suspiciously gets right up to the turd before he realizes that I was pulling a prank. Well, he calls me out for it, and tells the other campers to grab me. They all shove me into the bathroom and the counselor tells me that now I have to eat it off the toilet seat (again, church camp) or else they won't let me out. So now my friend is breathing a huge sign of relief and I'm the one in the frying pan.

All in all it was a fun trip.

[Guest]

a) yes guys, it was me. It was coincidence, though, as I found her number on the bathroom wall :-P

b) ha to the poo story. Caddyshack revisited, except much nastier. Poo stories are the best...because poo stories are so good...........

c) ...I was in Boy Scouts in 6th grade, and we would occasionally have weekend camping trips. We had one coming up, and for it we were going to leave directly from school on a Friday. Well, at that time of my life, my poo cycle was as consistent as the rising/setting of the sun. I would go every day when I got home from school (2:50 - 2:55 - literally, within that 5 minute window every day, I was on the toilet). SO, that means I went on Thursday, but did not get to go on Friday (as I never went home).

The bathroom facilities at the camps we stayed were not the greatest, so you always tried to not go if you could hold it. Long story short, I held it until Sunday afternoon when I got home (at this stage I have a 72 hour old turd languishing in my colon). After resting for a while, the urge hit me and I went to the bathroom. Well, it felt like I had a baby. I tried to flush it, and it made a weird noise, so when I looked down, it probably was the size of a baby. I flushed again, then again, and at this point my dad walks by and asks, "what the hell is going on in there?!" I open the door, and upon walking in, he just about dies. I point to the toilet, he looks down and goes, "JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE #%&! IS THAT?!" He flushes a couple times, and as expected, the turd does not budge. He leaves, comes back a minute later with a plastic knife and tells me to get to work.

Even a few years ago we went somewhere as a family, and my parents brought plastic knives "just in case."

[Brandonb]

a) yes guys, it was me. It was coincidence, though, as I found her number on the bathroom wall :-P

b) ha to the poo story. Caddyshack revisited, except much nastier. Poo stories are the best...because poo stories are so good...........

c) ...I was in Boy Scouts in 6th grade, and we would occasionally have weekend camping trips....

HAHAHA!!!!

I bow to the poo-story master.

[Guest]

HAHAHA!!!!

I bow to the poo-story master.

See, my situation was ok because it was my own poo. You had to suffer through someone else's. But while what you said about your little poo experience was HORRIBLE, it was THAT MUCH WORSE because it was a church camp!!! hahahaha.....

[Guest]

Umm....wow. That's all I can say, literally. The only thing I can think of is the time in Kindergarten when I went to take off my sweater and my shirt came off. That wasn't so bad, because i was only six or seven.

Again...wow. This forum scares me sometimes

[Brandonb]

See, my situation was ok because it was my own poo. You had to suffer through someone else's. But while what you said about your little poo experience was HORRIBLE, it was THAT MUCH WORSE because it was a church camp!!! hahahaha.....

Not exactly, the poo wasn't someone else's, it was my candy bar. However the smell did belong to someone else. And just to clarify (because I just read my post again and I seemed to have left out a key point) I did not eat the candy bar, I kicked it in and flushed . But yeah.... church camp tried to make me eat a poo candy bar.

[Guest]

Not exactly, the poo wasn't someone else's, it was my candy bar. However the smell did belong to someone else. And just to clarify (because I just read my post again and I seemed to have left out a key point) I did not eat the candy bar, I kicked it in and flushed . But yeah.... church camp tried to make me eat a poo candy bar.

Thank god, man, because I really thought you downed it.

[Brandonb]

Thank god, man, because I really thought you downed it.

HAHAHA!!! No way man! If it had come down to it, I would be typing to you right now, years later, sitting on the floor of that stall next to that toilet with the candybar still on it. There is no way I would do something like that, especially not repeat it if I had. lol

Edited May 4, 2008 by Brandonb

[Guest]

My sister (Chrissy), her friend (Colleen) and I had eaten at Sonic one night and were walking around the park afterward, drinking our drinks, when we noticed that some creepy guy seemed to be following us. So we tried to evade him but he kept following, so we started running. We came to a little hill and had to run down it. Colleen is really short, like a midget, so I was hoping she was gonna fall because I thought it'd be funny and I preemptively made fun of her for it. But I was so busy watching her and waiting for her to fall that I wasn't paying attention to my own running. The grass was wet and my shoes had no traction so I went down hard as Chrissy yelled "Tuck and roll!!" As I was falling I hulked out on the styrofoam Sonic cup in my hand and ripped it in half, spilling the bright blue Powerade slush all over myself. I slid down the grass and mud leaving a huge skid mark on the ground and spilled onto the sidewalk, all fat and covered in blue slush and mud and grass. As Chrissy and Colleen dragged me up from my shame, I lamented the loss of my Powerade slush and begged through my hysterical laughter to go back to Sonic to replace it.

[Guest]

haha - I saw that video on YouTube. But, um, where did you hide the beer when it was in your pants?? I guess they'll have to do cavity searches on you when you go to the airport

>< it was down the back and front of my pants, I had two.... lol....

And my number was actually written on the bar..... pffft... like I would really put my number in the girls bathroom.... please, no guys would ever see it.

And as for the fecal stories, thanks for the beautiful pictures you have all painted for me.... I now see you in a different light Neal.... No sleepovers at my house that's for sure.

[onetruth]

I have so many embarrassing stories because I spent so many years drunk or otherwise intoxicated...

I used to hang out with all this homeless kids. At one point, I broke my ankle. When I finally got the cast taken off, it was still really tender, and any injury to it meant I'd be off my feet for a few hours. One of my friends thought it would be funny to lift me up. As he was already inebriated, I begged him to put me down so that he wouldn't hurt my ankle. He freaked out and dropped me. I pretty much collapsed right there. Someone grabbed a shopping cart they found on the street and tossed me into it. Forget that they tried to make me pee behind the cart on the middle of Santa Monica Blvd. (My reaction was, "I don't just have to unzip and aim like you guys. I have to pull my pants down and squat!"---I was the only girl with 3 guys.)

At some point in this journey that we were taking (to buy cheap wine and beer), my drunk homeless friends got in a random fight with a bunch of obnoxious yuppies (or maybe everyone was drunk and just wanted to fight). That would've been fine, if they hadn't left me in a cart in the middle of the street to chase those guys down the block. Everyone was looking at me like I was something awful, and I was worried about a car...lol

Then, we found a roof to go drink our cheap wine on. I really had to pee, but by this point, everything was closed that had a public bathroom. One of the guys told me to go around the corner of the roof to pee. But first he gave me toilet paper and reminded me to wipe front to back. When I walked away, he asked if I had to...poo...because he had more TP if I needed it. I came back and found out that one of the guys (the one who had jacked up my ankle earlier) had taken a dump off of the side of the roof. Lovely.

After too much cheap wine, I had to throw up, and they told me to puke off the side of the roof. I remember 2 things. 1, I made them promise me that it wasn't the same place the guy went poo, and 2, I kept asking why my vomit was red, because I thought it was blood. They assured me it was just the wine.

[Guest]

Yo dawgs. Homie G in the hizzouse.

Um... I'm not that good at thinking of embarassing stories, but here's a try.

So, back in my "hometown," there was an era where all the art kids/drug-users/local psychonauts (or just psychos) hung out at "the park." They created this huge "underground" kind of a scene called park kids, and of course there was fame to be made and names to be flamed, basically lots of drama all the time. Well, when the park kids got kicked out of the park by the local pigs, they went to Waffle House.

Waffle House was a scene in itself. You could go to this certain Waffle House any given night and bump into someone you knew. The point of this back-story rambling is to explain that, unlike in other places around the globe, in my hometown Waffle House was not a place where you wanted your personal business shouted to the masses.

I was kind of keeping my reputation as a "nice girl" with "standards," because I wanted the smart people to take me somewhat seriously. So one night I made out with one of the park's top bad boys, slipped on my moral ground, and I didn't exactly want it to be public. The actual making-out was definitely not an experience I want to recount (overzealous and slightly disturbing.) Well, the next night I'm hanging out at a fairly well-packed Waffle House, and he was there with some friends.

One of his friends screamed "Hey (my name)! You left your bra at (his name)'s house, do you want it back?!"

*ensue death*

end!

Btw props to neal for starting this thread! It's awesome!

[Guest]

fourleggedfreak, I heart you, darling.

I have another more recent story.

A couple months ago I was checking out this brain teaser site and I saw a hilarious post by this one guy. Then I noticed he was in the same city as me so I decided to say hi. We started talking and texting and then one day he called me from work while I was leaving class and flirted with me unabashedly. So after we hung up I decided to text my best friend. I wrote "---- is flirting with me like crazy. I don't know if I would actually date him but it certainly is fun." But after I sent it, his name was on the screen. I thought there was no way I could be stupid enough to write a text about him, using his name, and send it right to him. I desperately sent texts to my friend begging her to tell me that I had just sent her a message. But she never replied. So I gathered all my thatchers and sent him a text asking if he had just received a message from me. After a long and painful silence he replied, "Yeah you goober" and then proceeded to question me as to who the friend was, thinking that he had been set up. It took a lot of convincing but I finally got him to accept that he doesn't know her. (I didn't know it at the time but it turns out that was a lie.)

It was embarrassing but it turned out really well for me.