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K, so obviously, I recently got dumped and am currently passed the denial phase and into the anger one :angry: . Hopefully acceptance comes soon. And because of all this, I have been thinking off all the guys I've broken up with in the past, and the various reasons that were exchanged and the typical excuses. Some of them sad , some pathetic, and some really funny. So, I know I'm not the only person to ever end a relationship, or have one ended on :blush: , so I thought people might want to share stories, excuses, reasons, etc. :lol:

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I don't get along with your [parents, friends, pets, mailman, etc]

I'm on the run from the law for murdering 12 people in cold blood (lol jk)

I'll need to work constantly until I get that promotion

I just feel that you don't love me anymore *sob*

I saw you doing that with the chimney sweep on the roof of the cafe!

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I'm bored. (haha...that's mean...someone really upset me and I almost told him that.)

I don't feel like we're connecting.

I saw you with her!

There was one guy I dated, and I couldn't figure out how to break up with him. So I started a huge fight with him and kept it going until he dumped me...lol

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umm....

ohh, here goes the lameness.

I don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship. (If that's the real reason, then I'm okay with that)

There's someone else (that hurt :( )

I need to spend more time with my family (didn't make sense, we only hung out at school, aside from the one time we went to the mall.)

Now that you've moved, you live like, 100,000,000,000 miles away, so i don't see this relationship working too well (It's true..)

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my mom used to tell me that I treated men like paper plates!

Well I was in the closet and didnt realize I hadnt met the right woman yet!!!

But reasons I broke up with them...

"you are an alcoholic"

"his car was SOOOO BIG and He was soooo small"

"he annoyed the crud out of me"

" she spent too much time with me, when she should have been with her son"

now what I said...

"really have to focus on my graduate degree."

"its not working"

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ok Dusty,

one question for you...

and I am being quite serious...

were either of your parents alcoholics or drug abusers?

nope, I come from a very loving and happy (with quite a few dysfunctional members) family. There are alcoholics in my family tree, and maybe I'm borderline, but hey, I love wine!

more break-up lines:

we don't like the same things.

you don't like my cats, and more importantly they don't like you, therefore you must go.

sorry, I just really don't like guys without tattoos (not true, ok kinda true more to the fact that I like guys with tattoos, but never really used, but while trying to think of appropriate reasons to dump the guy, that came across my mind)

we just don't have much in common

my kid looks nothing like you... (j/k, but that would be awful!)

and CP was right, size does matter, and cars don't compensate for anything, and if you have "that type of car" (won't name to keep PG rated), girls always think smaller...was that too R-rated?

Edited by dusty_b109
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Dusty, the reason he broke up with you was probably not about you.

Guys are just simple and think with the lower brain...

Oh, I'm ok with it and everything and didn't make the topic to talk about me, but whatever interesting break-up stories people may have.

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I'm on the run from the law for murdering 12 people in cold blood (lol jk)

I've used that line a couple times actually!

I think I used something along the lines of that on April Fool's Day one year...

Edited by ThunderChicken
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Dusty, the reason he broke up with you was probably not about you.

Guys are just simple and think with the lower brain...

Wow what a stereotype...

Not all guys think with just the lower brain you know...

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wow well the guy that I broke up with subsequently moved to Korea so he wouldnt have to see me on campus (a college bf) "i told you not to get attached to me, you are just arm candy"

"i have herpes" not really this is just a funny one

"you are in jail, you suck and i dont"

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To put it bluntly, they say that us guys tend to think mostly about sex in a relationship. <_<

Yeah which is a complete stereotype because not all guys think just that way.

In fact a lot of women think that way in a relationship too.

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To put it bluntly, they say that us guys tend to think mostly about sex in a relationship. <_<

what I meant to say is that most guys I have gone out with,

think with the little soldier in their pants.

Now realize that the last time I dated a man

I was 24. I am now 37.

But most men think about sex how many times a day??????

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what I meant to say is that most guys I have gone out with,

think with the little soldier in their pants.

Now realize that the last time I dated a man

I was 24. I am now 37.

But most men think about sex how many times a day??????

Twice a day. :lol: Different from when I was 14. Younger ones have more urges. Wait until you get to be 80 and you may forget completely. :lol:

Everyone thinks about sex at a different amount of times each day. Undoubtedly.

Now back to the topic. :D

Breaking up is hard to do. Just ask Neil Sedaka.

I will try never to break up again. I am shopping again.

Edited by akaslickster
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Given to me:

-I'm just not feeling it (later changed to we got too close too fast)

I've used:

-You're not ready for a serious relationship yet, and I see it. (she actually agreed)

-I'm not ready to be an instant daddy...(not my biological kid)

-Family comes first and apparently your dad doesn't like the fact that I'm white soooo...

-I've spent so much time with you I've lost focus in school and am at risk of failing...(ok so that one was bs)

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