Evil Genies

[mmiguel]

I thought this might be fun, but maybe it will flop.

A person finds a magic lamp with an evil genie inside.

The person may ask for any wish to be granted.

The genie, spiteful for having to serve a pitiful little human with his phenomenal cosmic powers, wants to make his master regret every wish that is made.

Posters, assume the role of either the genie of the human.

Rules:

I. Both genie and human are powerless to change these rules

II. As the human , you should wish for something that most people would actually find desirable.

III. Everything the human explicitly wished for must come true, and all harm (physical, mental, psychological, ...etc) that the spiteful genie inflicts should ultimately derive from a creative interpretation of the wish (e.g. deliberately ignoring common implications in speech that are not explicitly stated, or taking things out of context, ...etc). E.g. it's cheating if a person wishes for a million dollars, and the genie gives him a million dollars and also dumps a bucket of lava on his head (lava has nothing to do with the wish). It's not cheating if a person wishes for eternal life, and the genie prevents them from ever dying, but allows their body to to continue to age and weaken normally forever into some grotesque shamble that doesn't even look human - in this case, the person's eventual regret derives from making the wish in the first place.

IV. The genie cannot control his master's mind. This may sound good for the master, but it prevents the genie from being able to grant wishes like: I wish to always be happy forever.

V. Off limits: Wishing for more wishes, wishing for multiple things in one wish. The wish should be one thing possibly followed by further clarifications that specify the one thing. Cannot undo wishes.

Challenge:

Humans: Find an uncorruptible wish.

Genies: Corrupt every wish

Let's see who wins!

Here's one to start with:

"I wish to be the most intelligent person ever"

Edited September 18, 2012 by mmiguel

[flamebirde]

Granted, but to use the machine you have to give it exactly what you want. i.e. if you want ten bars of gold, you first have to procure ten bars of gold. after using the ten bars of gold, the original ten bars will turn into useless dust. Also, you can't use a product of the machine to fulfill the requirements.

I wish to be able to edit the opening post and change the rules to whatever I want, without the admins banning me.

[phaze]

Granted, http://www.createaforum.com/

I wish I could witness flamebirde banning himself from his own forum, which has no users

[flamebirde]

granted, I banned myself from my own forum. shame no one goes through ancient Roman cities to meet and talk anymore.

I wish for a glass eye of a tiger.

[phil1882]

granted, but it shatters the moment you touch it.

i wish to live in the Simpsons universe.

[phaze]

Granted, much to Kodos dismay, a mole on Kang has become self-aware. The distraction it provides explains why they have been unable to maintain control of a repeatedly conquered Springfield despite it being home to the most intellectually challenged nuclear power plant operator.

I wish I knew the answer to "Which factory spaceman hat?"

[phil1882]

granted though the answer also makes little sense; spleen.

i wish to know how to achieve virtue, and have the motivation to do so.

[joef1000]

granted, but even though you know how to, you are incapable of doing so.

I wish this wish is not corrupted

[flamebirde]

granted, it is not corrupted. However, it will be corrupted in about... a nanosecond from now.

I wish to know how to phrase the incorruptible wish and then destroy the next person's wish and then replace their wish with the incorruptible wish.

[phaze]

Granted, but as the calculation are NP-complete it will tie up computer resources worldwide for 2 to the power of 128 milliseconds (AKA about 100000000000000000000000000000000 years)

I wish that he presses "Yes" to proceed with the calculation before he realizes the paradox this would create

[flamebirde]

granted, but the button is on a computer monitor and when I try to press the button I break the computer monitor.

I wish that the incorruptible wish replaced this wish since the beginning of the universe and the end of the universe.

[phaze]

Granted, We have been through this before, the computing power required to fulfill your wish requires more time than from the beginning of the universe to it's eventual demise next Tuesday. I could grant it well after the universe has demised but as time no longer exists "after" is rather a fluid concept. I tell you what, consider it granted as it will be enacted at whatever time I fell like.

Oops, I wish I had not released the intended demolition time for the universe.

[Rob_Gandy]

Granted, the day you mentioned is actually 4 days afte........

I wish I had time to finish granting that wish....

[flamebirde]

granted, you have the time but are so surprised by your continuing existence that you temporarily forget how to speak for that period of time.

I wish to have the incorruptible wish, ready to be wished at any time.

[phil1882]

granted, it's the one you don't make.

i wish to not have this wish granted.

[flamebirde]

granted.

I wish to have this wish changed into the incorruptible wish from my previous wish.

[phaze]

Granted,

I wish that the granting of the last wish changes into the non-granting of the last wish

Edited November 5, 2012 by phaze

[joef1000]

Granted, but the granting of my next wish results in the non-granting of your wish.

I wish this wish was incorruptible.

[phaze]

Granted, but as my last wish was non-granted Flambirds wish was not non-granted which means it was granted and that he obtained the incorruptible wish before you did.

I wish for the incorruptible wish that all wishes that were supposed to incorruptible would be corrupted.

[phil1882]

granted, your wish is corrupted is some inexplicable way.

i wish to succeed at whatever i attempt and whatever i attempt, is something i truly desire.

[flamebirde]

granted, sadly you only have that ability for about a picosecond.

I wish that this game is over due to Phaze's logic (he said that I had achieved and wished my last wish, which was to wish the incorruptible wish replaced my previous wish).

[phil1882]

granted this is the last post, everyone loses interest.

therefore i don't wish.

[flamebirde]

I win!

EDIT: I just realized I would've won in any case, since I was both a genie and a wisher.

Edited November 8, 2012 by flamebirde

[joef1000]

i wish to not have this wish granted.

granted.

Therefore you un-granted it. That means you failed to grant his wish so you broke the genie rules. And, since you didn't grant it, you can't of corrupted it. Therefore it is the un-corruptible wish and phil1882 is the rightful winner unless someone can find a way to corrupt his wish.

[flamebirde]

Fair enough.

Granted, it's not granted for a zeptosecond, until my grant hits it.

[phaze]

Hang on, I wished for the incorruptible wish that all supposedly incorruptible wish would be corrupted.

Now this wish was granted by Phil meaning that he had to corrupt all incorruptible wishes including flamebirds and his own. This would mean that neither of you had the incorruptible wish.

It would all be well and good had not Phil corrupted my incorruptible wish in some inexplicable way. This is of neglecting the fact that as it was an incorruptible he needed to corrupt it as part of granting the wish thereby fulfilling the wish and making it incorruptible.

What all this means is that inexplicably we have no idea if any of the incorruptible wishes are any longer incorruptible or corrupted. I propose that all these wishes can be considered to be in both states simultaneously in which case there is no way to determine which incorruptible wish came first.

Edited November 10, 2012 by phaze