THINGS YOU DONT WANNA HEAR IN AN AIR PLANE
Captain thru intercom:
- Ten bucks says I CAN land on top of that mountain.
- "Zzzzzzzzzz..."
-"I wish all these planes had those mid air refuelling things"
-The manual, the manual, where the F**K is the manual?"
-“Our sudden loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it’s all part of our airlines new commitment to make your flight a sight seeing expedition.”
-"Isn't it amazing what little training you need these days to fly one of these things"
- “Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.”
-"There's more buttons here than it shows in this manual..."
-"Dear passengers welcome to Kazakhstan International Airport ALA, the current temperature is...
-This fuel gauge can't be right...
-"Hold my beer and watch this!"
-“This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices…”
-“Ummmmmm … Sorry everybody …” (silence)
- “It would be a good idea right now if everyone would close their shades and watch the in-flight movie.”
- Damm! that 747 almost hit us!
-Would any passengers who have experience in Flight Simulator, make yourselves known to the cabin staff!"
-"All of you can swim, right?"
-"Are there sharks in the Pacific?"
-"Why's it so cold all of the sudden?"
-Stewardess would you please bring four parachutes to the front cabin.”
-Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em coming!
Passengers:
-"Mommy, why can i see the ground already"
-"Hey, what's that mountain goat doing up here in the clouds??"
-"Mommy, why is the engine spitting fire"
-"Werent there two engines on the wing, when we left?"
-"Why's the ground getting nearer?"