plasmid

I'm curious about non-theist opinions on this matter, but theists are of course invited to participate and provide illumination as well. The almost universal development of religion in some form or other across many different cultures seems to indicate that there is a deep underlying drive to have some sort of religious experience which is embedded in many (if not to some degree all) humans. I doubt that it's purely due to primitive attempts to understand the universe before the development of science -- even with modern science and state endorsement of atheism, the Soviet Union still had plenty of believers. If religion as we know it were wiped from the face of the earth, it seems likely that it would simply resprout in some new form. If this is the case (which is certainly open to argument) then would it not be in our best interest to fill this illogical but evident need with a religion that is as benign and perhaps even beneficial as possible? Most mainstream religions at least preach to love thy neighbor and straighten up and fly right and all that, whether or not it's actually put into practice. Christianity may stand to be improved regarding its opposition to stem cell research and discrimination against homosexuals to name a few issues. However, it was previously opposed to a non-geocentric solar system and abolition of slavery (in areas where it was profitable) and has since mended its ways, not without cost in the meantime, but the point is that it's adaptable. Is it better to have such a mainstream religion fill the void of the masses who apparently can't do without it, or attempt to eliminate all but reason and leave open the chance for something much more uncontrolled and potentially malignant to take root in the open void (militant jihadists, or another Jonestown)? If something must fill the void but not any currently existing religion, would it be possible to design something better, bearing in mind that you have control only over the text of the holy doctrine but not people's interpretation and implementation of it, and that it must have enough of this intangible spiritualistic property that people crave in order to persist? And the ultimate question: could you craft a doctrine to fill this need in such a way that its propagation would have an overall positive effect on humanity, and be so convinced in its potential that you would put forth whatever effort and resources were required to make it a reality? I have no intention of converting any nonbelievers into messiahs, I'm just curious what people think. Seeing as how we're on BrainDen, you can consider this a practical riddle.

I failed to notice that two other people posted simultaneously with me last night. Lest it lead anyone astray, I rescind my former statement

Still not really in the neighborhood yet. What I have in mind is almost comical compared to the darkness of the riddle. Earlier drafts had some clues that I thought might be too much of a giveaway; if no one solves it while wasting time at work/school over the next 24 hours I'll post an earlier version.

Ouch. Ahoy, Cap'n, were you using some visual basic code? As far as I know there's no easy way to translate visual basic to open office basic. They're not even very similar. I ended up doing that once for a program I wrote a little over a year ago. I basically had to learn a whole new language just for that task. And I never wrote anything else in OO basic again so I forgot it all. I do remember that there are some odd little things that you have to do just right to get it to even start acting like a sensible programming language. If you're inclined to learn it, I could give you examples of my code and some useful tools for figuring out how to manipulate stuff in their java environment, but it ain't gonna be easy.

1. Grayven 2. andromeda 3. Izzy 4. allherdanger 5. scsw 6. plasmid 7.CyberSpace17 8. 9. Marth Add more numbers! Go easy on me scsw...

I hadn't realized the ambiguity of the term "indolent". My intent was indeed C: slow progression of a pathological process.

Edit: took parenthesis out of hyperlink

The two that come to my mind are Voodoo Chile by Hendrix and Eruption by Van Halen. More modern music isn't nearly so guitar dominated, but there's one riff from Four Star Youth's song What We Have Inside that I really like and am totally going to steal, er, adapt (you can listen free at garageband.com, just search for them). If you happen to be a guitarist then Joe Satriani is pretty much required listening, but I personally don't like it as much as I used to anymore.

Hmm, going back and reading it, it does seem like would fit pretty well with the riddle. A good answer, but still a rather concrete interpretation. And too evil.

No so far to the above. The answer to this riddle is nothing so "tragically malicious" (to abuse the old slogan). Hence the name of the riddle.

Not where I'm going with this one. Indeed, this time I went back and removed anything that seemed like much of a "smoking gun" clue. But I hope there are still enough little things to make the answer fairly satisfying on the second reading.

LOL, it ended up being an epic (er, EPYC) about how on Judgment Day the refs were wiped from the face of the earth and God rewarded the righteous sports fans with all the popcorn they could eat.

Pet, attack, and draw forth blood Sink your fangs and bring a flood Summon spirits armed to kill Bind them to my heinous will You've seen your final living day Now face your indolent decay You won't reach heaven, I'll be terse: This land of milk and honey's cursed! The light at the end of your tunnel is me I bring no salvation and bound you shall be The blood that courses through my veins, Bewitched, it is. Corrupt! Profane! My baneful touch will leave you numb Be sure, my Gods bring worse to come Prepare to face the hellish flames As pitchforks stab, play twisted games Should you escape their wrath so black Be rest assured, I'll bring you back

No access to a scanner right now, so I'm gonna have to go with MS paint [spoiler=For clozobozo (and everyone else since we're at the end now )]

Do they have to be strictly yes/no, or some other form where there are only two possible answers?

I seriously doubt that this is what you had intended, but it just fits too well:

A blustery wind blows over the bay I hoist up my sails, I'm off on my way Hoping to find, for the sake of my bands A village to pillage in neighboring lands I barge in the house I drink all their wine (Why, they hardly even seem like they mind!) When business is done, I bolt out the door Picking up more than I'm bargaining for In port once again, my comrades all glance And they all take note of my singing and dance We're off to win GOLD! We're leaving the bay Harpooning whoever might stand in our way! (I thought we could all use an easy one after that stumper from Shakee. It was an awesome riddle, but it still made my brain short out.)

Good point everyone. Now yer forcin' me to get creative...

Edit: just realized I might be able to make some more cash...

Like Grayven, I'm left pretty stumped. Fortunately the others' guesses are helping me out.

Bingo! Great job; I had the feeling this would've been one of the tougher ones.

Seems like that would be much more of a stretch to fit the riddle than what I've got in mind. In other words, no.