Guest Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 You may have heard a few of these before but here goes; 1) It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. 2) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.' 3) The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he had stopped for speeding. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the copper said. The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 4) A truck driver was driving along a country road. A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead'. Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cabin, and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?' The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!' I know more but they are not suitable for younger members. The last 2 are my favs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 i think 1,3, and 4 are the best ones. my favorite is 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 I like 2, 3, and 4. Mostly 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 andromeda Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 My favorite is the truck driver one and um... PM me the non suitable ones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 18, 2009 Report Share Posted March 18, 2009 oh! oh! i've got one!!! this mom was busy cleaning her house to get it ready for the company she was to have later that day. while doing this the lady (mother of 2 children) was getting cranky 'cause nobody was helping her. she's barking and snapping and was really not a pleasant person at this point. Anyway, right now she's looking for the broom. "Where the heck is the broom?" her daughter quickly answered a bit flustered, "I don't know, where did you land it?" i just thought this was hilarious when i read it in RD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 18, 2009 Report Share Posted March 18, 2009 Haha - that's great (No1sight) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 Haha - that's great (No1sight) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 cute... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 peace*out Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 what is petrol? (last word of #4) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Izzy Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 Heh, I have a pretty funny one that got me an extra three days to write an essay. It probably won't sound that funny, but it was hilarious in class today. So, we had a 2000 word essay due today, on a topic of our choice, which I totally forgot about because I've been out the last three days. The teacher, annoyed, said I could hand it in tomorrow. At the end of class, I was all, "Er.. can I have an extension?" She said definitely not. Then I was like "Meh, fine. I could go home and write something terribly long, on a topic that wouldn't interest you at all, it being pretty much crap for my standards, but still get an A. Orrr, you could give me until Monday so I have the weekend to write it, it of course, being epic. But yeah, I'll hand it in tomorrow. *walks away*" She calls for me. Then says not to let her down, and gives me until Monday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 peace*out Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 Heh, I have a pretty funny one that got me an extra three days to write an essay. It probably won't sound that funny, but it was hilarious in class today. So, we had a 2000 word essay due today, on a topic of our choice, which I totally forgot about because I've been out the last three days. The teacher, annoyed, said I could hand it in tomorrow. At the end of class, I was all, "Er.. can I have an extension?" She said definitely not. Then I was like "Meh, fine. I could go home and write something terribly long, on a topic that wouldn't interest you at all, it being pretty much crap for my standards, but still get an A. Orrr, you could give me until Monday so I have the weekend to write it, it of course, being epic. But yeah, I'll hand it in tomorrow. *walks away*" She calls for me. Then says not to let her down, and gives me until Monday. yay for Izzy!! awsome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 what is petrol? (last word of #4) ...gasoline...that's what they call it in some countries... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 You may have heard a few of these before but here goes; 1) It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. 2) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.' 3) The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he had stopped for speeding. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the copper said. The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 4) A truck driver was driving along a country road. A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead'. Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cabin, and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?' The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!' I know more but they are not suitable for younger members. The last 2 are my favs. ...pm me the others please!... ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Brandonb Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 ...She calls for me. Then says not to let her down, and gives me until Monday. well played! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
Guest
You may have heard a few of these before but here goes;
1) It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
2) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid, she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
3) The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he had stopped for speeding.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the copper said.
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
4) A truck driver was driving along a country road.
A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead'.
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cabin,
and said to the driver,
'Got stuck, eh?'
The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'
I know more but they are not suitable for younger members. The last 2 are my favs.
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