[Guest]

So I was driving to work today, sitting in traffic, drinking my Starbucks coffee, guiding my steering wheel with my knee so I could simultaneously put cream cheese on my bagel and eat it too, when I had a random thought; How many people do we drive by each day and think nothing about them? For those of us who are like me (A Professional Commuter) especially in major cities, this number is astronomical. How many times have we been cut off and started swearing at the other driver, then went home or to work and ranted to our family members, friends and colleagues about that person? On the same note how often to we talk to those same people about the elderly guy, driving his Ford Crown Victoria, who let you over after 10-15 people blatantly sped up to keep you from getting in front of them as soon as you put your blinker on? I'd be willing to bet it's significantly less. I'm guilty of it too.

It's interesting how we often feel so alone in this world, and yet we fail to see all these people we pass by day after day, who quite possibly feel the same way. What would happen if you randomly looked up and smiled at one and said hi? It could spark a friendship, or it could simply have stopped a potential suicidal thought process because that person didn't think anyone cared. Either way, how often do we do that? I know out here in Southern California, for a guy to smile and say hi to a woman, it's almost always automatically assumed that he's trying to pick her up. If he say hi to another guy, he's gay. What happened to the old days when we were young and could walk up to anyone with our pudgy cheeks, say hi with a huge smile on our face, and whomever we said it to would smile back at us and possibly say hi back?

I've also found it interesting that people have become so impersonal these days that sometimes people in an online community could feel like closer friends than the girl you grew up with who lives down the street. I mean seriously, I almost enjoy coming here to see what all of you have to say about different topics more than arguing with my actual friends about these things. then again, most of my friends aren't nearly as intelligent as most of you.

What are your thoughts about this? for the older members, or shall I say, more experienced in life members, when did you see it happening? What went wrong? I personally think that we have enough members here across the globe that we could all start to bring that back.

-END-

[andromeda]

One Christmas we were driving to my Grandparents house (20 min. ride) and my dad decided to honk and wave to every vehicle passing by... we had so much fun... I know that the people in the vehicles passing by probably thought that my father was drunk But... that is my most favorite holiday memory

It doesn't take much to smile and make others smile...

[Guest]

One Christmas we were driving to my Grandparents house (20 min. ride) and my dad decided to honk and wave to every vehicle passing by... we had so much fun... I know that the people in the vehicles passing by probably thought that my father was drunk But... that is my most favorite holiday memory

It doesn't take much to smile and make others smile...

reminds me of a time at the end of year 8. We were on a school trip to France. WW1, WW2 D-Day, normandy landing, battle of the somme stuff like that. We got this huge mansion tos tay in for a whole week all to ourselves. There was a swimming pool, bar, arcade, mini golf course - pretty much everything. On the last evening all our teachers got a teensy bit drunk (understatement of the year ). So on the bus on the way home, Me, another lad and 3 girls were on the back of the bus and decided to put a sign by the window.

"honk if your horny"

. The amount of lorry drivers we got tooting their horn in Britain and France was unbelievable, all laughing with a smile on their face

[Guest]

I've seen signs like that out here.

Reaymond - forgive my lack of knowledge of British, what is a lorry?

[Guest]

I've seen signs like that out here.

Reaymond - forgive my lack of knowledge of British, what is a lorry?

lol np truck in American i think? - a large van used to transport lots of goods

[Guest]

I've seen signs like that out here.

Reaymond - forgive my lack of knowledge of British, what is a lorry?

It's a Big Rig...or a cargo truck

[Guest]

As far as society becoming more and more impersonal, I agree. However, I don't agree that it is a healthy state to be in. I for one make a conscious effort to make eye-contact with and smile at everyone I walk by (on the sidewalk, in the mall, in an elevator); when I'm in my front yard I wave at every car that drives down our street whether I know the person or not; and I always smile and wave at curteous drivers (and do not curse or make obscene guestures at those who are less than curteous. )

But the one thing I've noticed that has made the biggest difference is when I am at a store, say Target or Macy's or Starbucks...it doesn't matter. When I get to the counter I try to find something about the clerk to compliment. A lot of times I will compliment a female clerk's earrings or thier manicure or how good they look in a certain color. With guys it's trickier...maybe "I like your tattoo" or goatee or watch or something. Anyway, it's cool to watch their face light up and how they instantly warm up to me and we start a conversation. I always leave by saying "take care" to imply that I care about them (because I do!) Working behind a counter can suck, and customers can be real @-holes, so if a small effort on my part can help return a smile to someone's face it's SOOOOOOO worth it. Think about the last time someone complimented you...it made you feel good all day, didn't it? It probably still makes you feel good just remembering it. Now, go pay it forward!

[Guest]

One more thing:

If you REALLY want to do a random act of kindness that is sure to make someone's day (with very little sacrafice and absolutely NO inconvenience to you): next time you are in a drive-thru lane at Starbucks or McDonalds, etc...when you finish paying for your own items tell the window clerk you'd like to also pay for the person behind you's order. If they ask you if you know them, say "No. I just thought I'd brighten someone's day." Make sure to drive away quickly before the person has a chance to realize what you've done, that way they have no chance to thank you in any way which makes it all the more delightful for both of you."

If you're a parent, do this in front of your children. Don't tell them "pay attention to what good deed Mommy is going to do"; in fact, don't say a word! Just let them observe you doing something kind and generous. They learn best by example...so model kindness and they will do it too. Another thing to do in front of your children is if a clerk makes a mistake and doesn't ring up one of your items or they give you too much change...make a point to be honest and correct it. Again, without drawing attention to yourself...just get the clerks attention and make the correction as if you were by yourself. Kids pick up on that stuff. It's a very powerful gift to give your children (and the person behind you in line, for that matter.)

okay, soapbox over...for now.

[andromeda]

:lol:

I've just remembered something!

One time I wanted to compliment one of my female teachers in high school... She had short hair and always experimenting with it. So one day she shows up with a slightly different hairdo. Of course I've noticed that and since she was a very cool teacher I decided to tell her " Wow I like your new hairdo". She replied "Nah... I haven't done anything with it", that didn't confuse me because I had a good comeback "Oh yeah... you just run a comb trough your hair".

The same second those words came out of my mouth we both had this look on our faces ! Her reaction was saying my name with a drawl!

Luckily, I mentioned she was cool, she didn't hold it against me!

[Guest]

It's interesting how we often feel so alone in this world, and yet we fail to see all these people we pass by day after day, who quite possibly feel the same way. What would happen if you randomly looked up and smiled at one and said hi? It could spark a friendship, or it could simply have stopped a potential suicidal thought process because that person didn't think anyone cared. Either way, how often do we do that? I know out here in Southern California, for a guy to smile and say hi to a woman, it's almost always automatically assumed that he's trying to pick her up. If he say hi to another guy, he's gay. What happened to the old days when we were young and could walk up to anyone with our pudgy cheeks, say hi with a huge smile on our face, and whomever we said it to would smile back at us and possibly say hi back?

I worked in San Diego for 6 months a few years back, and being English, I really saw a lot of cultural differences. What you said about people being so defensive and assuming you're trying to pick them up really rings a bell. Another thing I found bizarre was the prevalence of gated communities. In my experience that isn't typical of the world in general, but Americans seem to place a lot of emphasis on trying to protect themselves from some perceived threat - the "bad guys" out there. And it's assumed that you are one of the "bad guys" until you prove otherwise. I know that doesn't go for everybody, but you keep seeing a lot of fear everywhere, and it creates a mood of paranoia that is hidden but always part of the background.

I've also found it interesting that people have become so impersonal these days that sometimes people in an online community could feel like closer friends than the girl you grew up with who lives down the street. I mean seriously, I almost enjoy coming here to see what all of you have to say about different topics more than arguing with my actual friends about these things. then again, most of my friends aren't nearly as intelligent as most of you.

I enjoy all that stuff too but is it friendship? The conversations are interesting but we're all strangers really. Like for me, what I put online is a subset of my personality. It's part of me but not the whole, if you know what I mean.

What are your thoughts about this? for the older members, or shall I say, more experienced in life members, when did you see it happening? What went wrong? I personally think that we have enough members here across the globe that we could all start to bring that back.

I'm pleased to say that respect for your fellow human being is mostly alive and well in this part of Italy. It's one of the reasons I chose to live here (though the UK isn't nearly as bad as the USA for that). Maybe that doesn't help your cause much, but it may be nice to know that the problem isn't universal. An interesting observation on Italy is that Italians can occasionally show extreme disrespect too, what would be considered unacceptable manners in the UK or USA. I wonder if one thing goes hand in hand with the other. If you are too polite and careful and restrained in how you deal with people, you are holding them at arm's length emotionally, and if that is the nature of your society, you get this sense of isolation and impersonality.

[Izzy]

What are your thoughts about this? for the older members, or shall I say, more experienced in life members, when did you see it happening? What went wrong? I personally think that we have enough members here across the globe that we could all start to bring that back.

Honestly, it's starting to happen now. If not now, a year ago. I'm 14, and live in one of the most touristy cities in the world - Orlando, Florida. I was raised not only to not talk to strangers, but to be afraid of them. I live in a wonderful neighborhood that's on the safer side of Orlando, and gated. But when I was growing up, there was always the stuff on the news from the "ghetto" areas of people being raped and battered.

I don't remember the extent I understood this to when I was little, but now that I do, I feel I'm always judging people before I know them, thinking "Oh, this person could potentially be dangerous."

Here's what really went wrong though: We all grew up and realized how different we are from everyone else. Everyone got caught up in their own stereotypes, and hardly anyone crossed over from one to another. In elementary school, no one cared about what you wore, how your hair looked, or if you were good at sports. Now that we're older and it seems to be everyone's top priority, it stops people from socializing.

I'm all up for fixing it. I smile at most people I walk past. I say hi to people my age that seem cool. I have no problem with sitting anywhere at lunch. I always thought people would get over this around high school age, but apparently not.

[unreality]

I'm a lot like Puzzlegirl, I try to make eye contact and/or smile at everyone I see at school, stores, movie theater, whatever. It's not considered "gay" (unless you do it in a gay way lol) nor do girls automatically assume you are hitting on them (unless you have some sort of reputation for that kind of thing ;D). I know that it may be different in areas of more crime like Southern California or Orlando... places where people have to gate their neighborhoods and whatnot. My dad grew up in an area like that, with a lot of gang violence and stuff.

Because of all the bad stuff that can happen in people's lives, a smile isn't meaningless, in fact just the opposite - a single smile can change everything, and it brightens your own day too

[Guest]

Wow I honestly didn't think i'd get all of these responses

I agree with all of you, even young Izzy (dont worry sweetie age is just a number, it's maturity that counts) ((Right PG )

I do try to smile at people, and often do. It really does sadden me how some poeple can be so closed off that it disgusts them or they assume the worst. I love visiting my family in Texas, because everyone is so friendly.