unreality Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 1. Always avoid alliteration. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. Avoid cliches like the plague—they're old hat. 4. Employ the vernacular. 5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 7. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas. 8. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 9. Contractions aren't necessary. 10. Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo. 11. One should never generalize. 12. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 13. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 14. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 15. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions. 16. Avoid archaeic spellings too. 17. Understatement is always best. 18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 19. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Always! 20. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 21. The passive voice should not be used. 22. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 23. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before. 24. Who needs rhetorical questions? 25. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary. 26. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively. 27. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice. 28. Subject and verb always has to agree. 29. Be more or less specific. 30. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct. 31. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers. 32. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before. 33. Don't be redundant. 34. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. 35. Don't never use no double negatives. 36. Poofread carefully to see if you any words out. 37. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 38. Eschew obfuscation. 39. No sentence fragments. 40. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions. 41. A writer must not shift your point of view. 42. Don't overuse exclamation marks!! 43. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. 44. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. 45. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. 46. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. 47. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. 48. Always pick on the correct idiom. 49. The adverb always follows the verb. 50. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. 51. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing. 52. And always be sure to finish what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Mekal Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 LOL maybe i should use this to help me with my book Good ones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Oh wow, those were awesome. I particularly liked 14,32,33, though I think 42 should have been Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Izzy Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 LMAO. I feel like printing this out and handing it to my English teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 hey if you gave it to your english teacher i think they'd actually disagree with half of it! - mine would. such as no quotations and no one word sentences - my english teacher actually said to always have a one word sentence in every piece of writing we do in exams (not essays obviously)! funny stuff though - good find unreality! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 LMAO. I feel like printing this out and handing it to my English teacher. :lol: Haha...I already did. So oh! Diss..naw, I'm just kiddin' wit ya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 peace*out Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 thats awsome.....how about don't bore ur reader?? jk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 I like these. If I gave them to my english teacher though, I think he'd just laugh. Unlike most of my teachers, he actually has a sense of humour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 thats awsome.....how about don't bore ur reader?? jk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 51. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing. ^ haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 peace*out Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Is the 'How to write good' in the title a sorta pun? how to write well i have a grammer mother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 andromeda Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. The best one!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
unreality
1. Always avoid alliteration.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague—they're old hat.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
8. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
9. Contractions aren't necessary.
10. Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
11. One should never generalize.
12. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
13. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
14. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
15. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
16. Avoid archaeic spellings too.
17. Understatement is always best.
18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
19. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Always!
20. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
21. The passive voice should not be used.
22. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
23. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
24. Who needs rhetorical questions?
25. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
26. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
27. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
28. Subject and verb always has to agree.
29. Be more or less specific.
30. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
31. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
32. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
33. Don't be redundant.
34. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
35. Don't never use no double negatives.
36. Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
37. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
38. Eschew obfuscation.
39. No sentence fragments.
40. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
41. A writer must not shift your point of view.
42. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
43. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
44. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
45. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
46. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
47. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
48. Always pick on the correct idiom.
49. The adverb always follows the verb.
50. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
51. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
52. And always be sure to finish what
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