So you're in flight with your wireless notebook, ready to do some serious work when inexplicably your computer connects with the guy's two rows up, as he sends his girlfriend a note. Wouldn't you know their names are John and Mary. Well that's boring, so I'm changing them to Boris and Natasha.
Well forget all that. And forget the fact that you're eavesdropping on two lovers as they eagerly await their reunion after being apart for a year. Forget all that because you are a puzzle solver. You're much more concerned with the strangeness of the English language. Really. Because it's filled with phrases and stuff that either imply something nonsensical or logically mean the opposite of what's intended.
So, secretly hoping one day to become a highly paid copy editor, you comb through Boris' note looking for English-isms.
How many can you find?
Time to get picky!
And most of all, Enjoy.
Aha - by popular demand [see following posts] here are a few examples of "Englishisms"
Daylight Savings Time - not a second of daylight is actually saved here.
The first century BC - this meaning is never what is meant. Usually people mean the last century, B.C.
Underwater - things we call underwater are actually surrounded by it.
I lucked out. Sounds like you're out of luck. Maybe it should be I lucked in?
I'm speaking tongue in cheek. How can anyone understand you?
Hope that helps.
--------------
Dearest Natasha,
We just boarded, and I have time to send you this note on my laptop.
I had to watch my head coming through the boarding door. Either I'm
still growing, or they're making these planes smaller every year.
I had to wait for a hot water heater delivery, and then I hit a huge
bottleneck of traffic coming to the airport and barely made it on time.
But I was fortunate to get a non-stop flight; so I'll actually be in
town earlier than planned.
Wow! we just took off, and it was white knuckles all the way. Here
I am, literally glued to my seat as I watch a near miss with an
incoming plane out my window!
I can hardly wait to get there. I've so missed not seeing you. Some
people at work, who apparently have nothing better to do, have been
whispering behind my back that we we're just a one night stand. I
could care less what they think. I'm head over heels in love, and
I'd go to the ends of the earth to see you. And now it's happening!
I'll arrive none too soon!
The snacks on these flights are ridiculous. They think a hot cup of
coffee and some powdered donut holes are a meal! But you know
me, I'm rarely satisfied; I want to have my cake and eat it too.
Did I tell you I interviewed for a new position? Yesterday afternoon.
I did everything I could to put my best foot forward, and I'm really
hopeful. My boss is such a dweeb. He does everything a** backwards.
Last year he let three of my great ideas fall between the cracks,
and then resurrected them and pretended they were his own!
Oh my gosh! Jeter scored all the way from first on a hit and run play!
Girardi has those Yankees playing small ball this year. Maybe we'll
get #28 in November - ya think? Sorry for the distraction; the game's
on in-flight TV. What? Can you believe it? Newsflash just in; some
nameless administration official just announced that Bush is revoking
the presidential term limits. No way that can happen!
Ah, the captain has announced our landing approach. I'll send this,
log off, and soon you'll be in my arms. I can hardly wait!
XXOOXX
- Boris
[1] I had to watch my head - how would you do that?
[2] hot water heater - why bother? it's a cold water heater
[3] hit a huge bottleneck - aren't bottlenecks worst when they're small?
[4] non-stop flight - stay away from these flights!!
[5] literally glued to my seat - figuratively, or just glued - it's a self-generating metaphor
[6] a near miss - a near miss is a collision isn't it? A close call is a near hit.
[7] I've so missed not seeing you - don't you mean I missed seeing you?
[8] whispering behind my back - where else would they? in front of your back?
[9] a one night stand - think about it: who's standing?
[10] I could care less - I couldn't care less is what's meant.
[11] head over heels in love - Let's see, isn't that where your head usually is?
[12] go to the ends of the earth - yah, like, it's a sphere, isn't it?
[13] a hot cup of coffee - don't you mean a cup of hot coffee? why heat a cup?
[14] powdered doughnut holes - try to imagine powdering [or eating] a hole.
[15] have my cake and eat it too - uh, actually, eat my cake and [then] have it, too.
[16] put my best foot forward - let's see, I have a good foot, a better foot, maybe, but which one would be best?
[17] does everything a** backwards - can you imagine doing anything a** forwards???
[18] fall between the cracks - that would mean hitting the floor, right? maybe fall into the cracks.
[19] a hit and run play - everyone knows it's a run and hit play.
[20] nameless administration official - c'mon, everyone has a name. he's an unnamed offcial.
Question
bonanova
So you're in flight with your wireless notebook, ready to do some serious work when inexplicably your computer connects with the guy's two rows up, as he sends his girlfriend a note. Wouldn't you know their names are John and Mary. Well that's boring, so I'm changing them to Boris and Natasha.
Well forget all that. And forget the fact that you're eavesdropping on two lovers as they eagerly await their reunion after being apart for a year. Forget all that because you are a puzzle solver. You're much more concerned with the strangeness of the English language. Really. Because it's filled with phrases and stuff that either imply something nonsensical or logically mean the opposite of what's intended.
So, secretly hoping one day to become a highly paid copy editor, you comb through Boris' note looking for English-isms.
How many can you find?
Time to get picky!
And most of all, Enjoy.
Aha - by popular demand [see following posts] here are a few examples of "Englishisms"
Daylight Savings Time - not a second of daylight is actually saved here.
The first century BC - this meaning is never what is meant. Usually people mean the last century, B.C.
Underwater - things we call underwater are actually surrounded by it.
I lucked out. Sounds like you're out of luck. Maybe it should be I lucked in?
I'm speaking tongue in cheek. How can anyone understand you?
Hope that helps.
--------------
Dearest Natasha,
We just boarded, and I have time to send you this note on my laptop.
I had to watch my head coming through the boarding door. Either I'm
still growing, or they're making these planes smaller every year.
I had to wait for a hot water heater delivery, and then I hit a huge
bottleneck of traffic coming to the airport and barely made it on time.
But I was fortunate to get a non-stop flight; so I'll actually be in
town earlier than planned.
Wow! we just took off, and it was white knuckles all the way. Here
I am, literally glued to my seat as I watch a near miss with an
incoming plane out my window!
I can hardly wait to get there. I've so missed not seeing you. Some
people at work, who apparently have nothing better to do, have been
whispering behind my back that we we're just a one night stand. I
could care less what they think. I'm head over heels in love, and
I'd go to the ends of the earth to see you. And now it's happening!
I'll arrive none too soon!
The snacks on these flights are ridiculous. They think a hot cup of
coffee and some powdered donut holes are a meal! But you know
me, I'm rarely satisfied; I want to have my cake and eat it too.
Did I tell you I interviewed for a new position? Yesterday afternoon.
I did everything I could to put my best foot forward, and I'm really
hopeful. My boss is such a dweeb. He does everything a** backwards.
Last year he let three of my great ideas fall between the cracks,
and then resurrected them and pretended they were his own!
Oh my gosh! Jeter scored all the way from first on a hit and run play!
Girardi has those Yankees playing small ball this year. Maybe we'll
get #28 in November - ya think? Sorry for the distraction; the game's
on in-flight TV. What? Can you believe it? Newsflash just in; some
nameless administration official just announced that Bush is revoking
the presidential term limits. No way that can happen!
Ah, the captain has announced our landing approach. I'll send this,
log off, and soon you'll be in my arms. I can hardly wait!
XXOOXX
- Boris
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