A few sentences from life

[rookie1ja]

A few sentences from life - Back to the Paradoxes

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

[Guest]

A few sentences from life - Back to the Paradoxes

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

1)They don't go there because they have the perception that it's crowded because it used to be. Then everyone stopped going there when they realized it was so busy. Since no one's there, no one can tell others it's not crowded anymore.

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

2)Learn to swim in another liquid.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

3)I'm not really understanding.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

4)This sentence makes sense even if the second part is unnessecary.

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

5)Analphabets can speak coherently right? Dictate.

[Guest]

These are not paradoxes, they are just not complete/intelligent statements. The fact that people say them and/or harp on them points to the general lack of common sense these days.

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded. What is meant is no one who knows how crowded it is goes to that restaurant. Obviously, if it is crowded, SOMEbody goes to that restaurant. It is an over-generalization (for lack of a better term), which are rarely true.

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim. What is meant is don't go in the water in an uncontrolled setting, till you have learned how to swim. Obviously, the easiest way to learn to swim is by going in the water, but in a controlled setting, with someone to teach you who can ensure your safety until you can ensure your own safety.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all. Add the word "well" between "write" and "at" and you will get the meaning desired.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call. Obviously. This goes right with speakers in large rooms who say "If you can't hear me, raise your hand" Duh. <!-- s:roll: --><!-- s:roll: -->

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it. I saw a similar thing on Letterman many years ago ... reading a billboard that said simply: "Illiterate? Call 1-800-555-1212". Hopefully, the authors of these statements aren't expecting large responses. They'd do better on the radio ...

[Guest]

The first three are all based on values.

Nobody goes to that resturant, because it is too crowded.

Value: Comfort.

Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

Value: Safety.

The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

Value: Literary discernment.

The next is simply explained.

If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

This person is a profound believer in DESTINY.

The last I find somewhat confusing. It's written thus:

ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

Should the last sentence be, Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to learn.!???

Anyway, it's obvious that the author is either completely out of touch with reality, or else, taking the p..s.

[bonanova]

6. Everyone who is not here, please indicate by raising your hand.

[Guest]

Nobody goes to that resturant , because its too crowded.

Nobody meaning no one from a certain group or clique.So no one who is of any importance goes there.

If you get this message...........

I think it means if you get as in fully comprehend the message then reply.

[bonanova]

"Nobody goes to that restaurant; it's too crowded."

That is a quote from the much-quoted, great Yogi Berra.

Who is also quoted to have said,

"I didn't say most of those things I said."

So that possibly explains it.

I also point out that George Carlin once noted that the stuff

you spray on mold and mildew comes with the warning:

Use this product only in well-ventilated places.

To which George replied ...

I don't know where your mildew grows, but ...

[Guest]

Makes me think of the error-message that one may get at boot-time if no keyboard is present.

"Keyboard missing. Press F1 to continue"

Well that makes perfect sense: Press F1 on what? The missing keyboard?"

BoilingOil

[Guest]

> Nobody goes to that restaurant; it's too crowded.

Bodies can be hungry or not hungry.

A restaurant can hold a finite set of bodies.

The bodies in the restaurant are not hungry.

The bodies outside the restaurant are hungry.

A crowded restaurant cannot serve hungry bodies.

Therefore, hungry bodies should not go to crowed restaurants.

* IN INTEGRITY

> Don't go near the water 'til you have learned how to swim.

This sentence is a command to never learn to swim.

* IN INTEGRITY

> The man who wrote such a stupid sentence can not write at all.

Stupid sentences are written by men who cannot write.

Men who cannot write cannot write sentences.

Therefore, there must be sentences that are non-stupid.

* IN INTEGRITY

> If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

Listening to the message will result in a call. Not listening to the message may result in a call and it may not, it cannot be determined.

* IN INTEGRITY

> ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

Any letter sent will result in instructions on how to destroy it. Burning the paper, etc.

*IN INTEGRITY

Eric Mumford

Waterford, NY

[Guest]

A few sentences from life - Back to the Paradoxes

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

My personalities will answer these.

- I'll go out to eat at the resturant mentioned on No. 1.

- Why? It's always crowded.

- Yeah, but no one goes there because they think its too crowded. And No. 2?

- You're basically telling me I cant take a bath or shower unless I know how to swim.

- Well, the man who cant write, just cant write very well.

- Hooray! Give her a cupcake.

- Really?

- No.

- No. 4 is just, call if you get the message. If you dont, its pointless.

- Finally shes thinking like me.

We leave my personalities here- on to the next puzzle!

[Guest]

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

if it is tourist season why can't we shoot the tourists....the ones that are crowding the restaurant so that nobody (from around here) can go to

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

don't go near the freeway until you have learned to drive.....on the smaller roads (or bodies of water) because it is dangerous (deeper)

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

If you speak spanish press 3....since the ability to speak spanish (or write) is an all or nothing deal.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

Do not put your blow dryer in the bathtub.....Face it you know someone had to clarify that one.

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

Tell me if you are choaking. some things just don't make sense

[Guest]

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

First of all, crowded with what? If it is crowded with people, than that proves that people do in fact go there. If it is crowded with wild boars, than people might have a tendency not to go.

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

I love how people should die of dehydration because they can't swim at the age of 1 month. I mean come on, the human baby can't even burp by itself by then, let alone walk or swim.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

O.K., your the stupid one if you catch yourself saying that. The fact that he wrote a sentence, not matter how stupid you believe it to be, shows that he has written something.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

Say what?!? Oh hey, and if you happen to be alive then breathe. If you're not then you don't have to bother, I'll be glad to do it for you.

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

Yea, the letter I right to you guys won't cost a penny. You see, the postal service likes me, and they give me free stamps. NOT!

[Guest]

I saw a sentence from a political speech, which -I think- is akin to the sentence 'If you get this message, call me, but, if you don;t get it, don;t call me'. The following sentence is -to me- very close, to the afore-mentioned one, if not of the same kind

'I hope this message i' m sending you now will reach to all of you, wherever you are or live in the earth'.

I think that the above-mentioned utterance is paradoxical. If it is true that this message will reach to all those people, the sentence at issue, which they will read or hear, lacks sense:it provides zero information, for they will just have received it.

On the other hand, if the same message won't reach to those people, then it is an in vacuo message:there are no recipients, so it is again without sense

[Guest]

English is filled with implications. No one that i have heard from about this restruant goes to it because it is too crouded. Kind of like It tastes like trash. The person probably has bnot tasted trash but what is implied is that it tastes how trash smells.

[Guest]

1. No one of importance to me ("me" being the speaker) goes to that restaurant.

2. Don't go near a PARTICULAR BODY OF WATER 'till you've learned to swim safely in it.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence cannot write well at all.

4. If you get this message call me; if you don't call I will assume you did not get my message.

5. ADVERTISEMENT: "Wanted: Professional Psychics. You know where to apply."

[Guest]

Makes me think of the error-message that one may get at boot-time if no keyboard is present.

"Keyboard missing. Press F1 to continue"

Well that makes perfect sense: Press F1 on what? The missing keyboard?"

BoilingOil

wat?

i have never seen that message b4.

[Guest]

A few sentences from life - Back to the Paradoxes

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

Too crowded for the observer, or is nobody somebody?

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

refers to a spefic body of water not all water.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

This was written by the observer with no self esteem.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

refers to joke.

If I get their first I'll write you a message, If you get there first rub it out!

or

Two plebs hire a boat and go fishing, they catch a lot of fish.

1st pleb puts a cross on the deck.

2ns pleb asks why?

1st pleb says to mark the spot.

2nd pleb says but what if we don't get the same boat?

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

Methinks you need two letters A and N

(tail sticker "If you can read this, I've lost my caravan")

[Guest]

wat?

i have never seen that message b4.

Probably Homer (Simpson of course)

[spoiler='Press any key to continue

']Where is any key?

[Guest]

To be honest I don't know what anyone really wants as answers or discussions from these however...

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

This line sounds like its been taken out of a conversation in which someone must be pointing out a specific restaurant so if thats so they must be able to see it if not then if people believe that nobody goes then how can it possibly be crowded if he contradicts themselves by saying nobody goes not making it possible to be crowded unless they speak about objects and staff which crowd it...

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

There is a specific way to swim, and the word 'the' is used to specify a specific water area. Like you say to a child when on the beach however again its contradicting with it making it nearly impossible to learn to swim without any water...

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

If the man wrote such a stupid sentence then he can write else he would have not wrote the stupid sentence in the first place however he may not be able to write well or thoughtfully. Not that he can not write at all...

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

Pointing out the obvious but may also be for clarification...

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

You can always write a letter to the people or group with your details in order to get the package depending on the rest of the advertisement if they where smart enough to put their details on, and when they say 'it' they don't actually seem to specify what that 'it' is...

[Guest]

no one goes to the restaurant after it was crowded.

it's just a matter of time guys

[Guest]

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

This one makes me giggle. An analphabet, to me, is someone who lacks letters. An being the prefix meaning none and alphabet being the letters. One cannot write a letter if one does not have letters to write with no?

[Guest]

A few sentences from life - Back to the Paradoxes

1. Nobody goes to that restaurant, because it is too crowded.

2. Don't go near the water, till you have learned how to swim.

3. The man who wrote such a stupid sentence, can not write at all.

4. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

5. ADVERTISEMENT: Are you an analphabet? Write a letter and we will send you free of charge instructions how to undo it.

I saw 1 sign that read...."ILLITERATE? Call (I 4got the #) and we'll be glad to help!" Pretty pointless, right?

[itachi-san]

6. Everyone who is not here, please indicate by raising your hand.

7. Nobody drives in New York, there's too much traffic.

[Guest]

The statement is written wrong. It should be "If you get this message, don't call me. If you don't get this message, call me." This way you have the paradox you are looking for. Nobody is getting called therefore no one knows if the message has been recieved.

[Guest]

Response on the few mistakes

2.You can still learn how to swim without get into the water! XD

4.This isn't a paradox only a sentence with unnecessary part...

Very funny sentences. XD