Chuck Norris' keyboard has two buttons: 0 and 1
Chuck Norris' computer can solve the halting problem
Chuck Norris has counted to aleph one. Twice.
Chuck Norris can count the real numbers
Chuck Norris knows all of pi
Chuck Norris's computer never crashes because it is afraid to
Chuck Norris doesn't need antivirus, viruses are afraid to enter his computer
Chuck Norris can type sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root without crashing his computer
When Chuck Norris uses sudo, there are less privileges
Chuck Norris can delete system32 without his computer crashing
Chuck Norris's computer can execute an infinite loop in 2 seconds
Chuck Norris catch 'em all, shiny
Chuck Norris can go back in time, kill his grandfather, and still live
Chuck Norris can run Windows fast
Chuck Norris can see the source code of all binaries
Chuck Norris can break a one time pad
Chuck Norris can decrypt RSA with a public key
Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Linus Torvalds live in constant fear that Chuck Norris' computer will crash
Chuck Norris can construct a set of all sets that don't contain themselves
Global Warming exists because Chuck Norris turned the sun up