[Guest]

There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead all in an elevator with a guy. The guy dares them all to drop their watches down the elevator shaft and try to catch them when they get down. First, the redhead drops it down, gets down and her watch is broken. Next the brunette drops it down, goes down a different elevator which she believes is faster, though she gets down and her watch is broken. Next the blonde drops her watch, brushes her hair, takes a nap, watches Greys Anatomy, comes back and catches the watch. The brunette and the redhead approaches the blonde. The brunette says, "How did you do that?" the blonde replies, "I turned my watch back a few hours.

Edited January 20, 2008 by Jaclyn

[Guest]

lol.. good

[akaslickster]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little

red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer

who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blondes' driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your

picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the

mirror, then handed it back saying, 'Okay, you can go. I didn't

realize you were a cop.'

Edited April 9, 2009 by akaslickster

[Guest]

how do you get a blond out of the tree?

wave to her

[Guest]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little

red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer

who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blondes' driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your

picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the

mirror, then handed it back saying, 'Okay, you can go. I didn't

realize you were a cop.'

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! that's the funiest joke ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Magic_luver101]

this blond at my school apperently has 7 sences sight, sound, smell, touch, tast, hotness (her words not mine)

[Guest]

this blond at my school apperently has 7 sences sight, sound, smell, touch, tast, hotness (her words not mine)

perhaps you should inform her that hotness is an attribute much like stupidity or ditziness. Now having a sense to perceive the imperceptible in a manner of which no one can explain (i.e. Blondes worryings about locking their keys in their car on a cloudy day, when they "know" it's going to rain and the top was left down.) that's a sense

[Guest]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little

red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer

who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blondes' driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your

picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the

mirror, then handed it back saying, 'Okay, you can go. I didn't

realize you were a cop.'

<---- That says it all.

[Guest]

here's one:

there was this mob made up entirely out of blonds, rioting against how it's PC to say blonds are stupid. They march to city hall and the mayor decides to calm down the blonds.

"Alright, I will pick one blond out from among all of you and if she can answer my question then I will support your cause."

The mayor picks out a young woman and says, "Two trains are headed through a tunnel. Train A at 20mph and Train B at 1mph. Which train will collide first?

the blond looks confused and says, "Train D?"

"I'm sorry dear, but that's wrong."

the mob of rioting blonds then chants, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

"Alright, alright, calm down." The Mayor conjured up another question: "What's the capital of Alaska?"

the blond: "A?"

the crowd: "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The mayor, feeling a bit confident asked this question: What is 1+1?

The blond: "2?"

The blond mob said...

"Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

[akaslickster]

Did'nt expect it. Hee Hee.

[Guest]

A blonde dies her hair brown.

She is driving down a country road when she has to stop to let a farmer take his sheep across. she gets out and asks the farmer,

"If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have can i have one?" The farmer agrees and somehow the blonde ( or fake brunette) gets it right.

"OK" says the farmer "If i caguess your original hair colour can i have my sheepdog back?"

Think about that

Edited April 16, 2009 by undercovergenius

[t8t8t8]

Oh I see! sheepdog and sheep.

[Guest]

A blonde dies her hair brown.

She is driving down a country road when she has to stop to let a farmer take his sheep across. she gets out and asks the farmer,

"If I can guess exactly how many sheep you have can i have one?" The farmer agrees and somehow the blonde ( or fake brunette) gets it right.

"OK" says the farmer "If i caguess your original hair colour can i have my sheepdog back?"

Think about that

i don't get it!!

[Guest]

i don't get it!!

My guess is before the blonde dye hair brown, she stole the sheepdog, the sheepdog knows the # of sheeps, farmer saw her steal. Find him, contest w/ amount of sheep to get stuff, farmer gets suspicious, figures it was her.

[Guest]

What do you call a blonde skelton in a closet.

Hide and Seek Champion of 1963

[Guest]

i don't get it!!

My guess what the blonde didn't know the difference between the sheep and the sheepdog, and when she was awarded a sheep, she took the dog instead.

This may have tipped the farmer off that she was blone, not brunette.

[Guest]

What did the blonde say when she opened up a box of cheerios?

Oh look, doughnut seeds!

[Guest]

What did the blonde say when she opened up a box of cheerios?

Oh look, doughnut seeds!

lolthats funny, I wish I could grow doughnuts

[Guest]

Edited April 19, 2009 by Child

[Guest]

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game .The lawyer said " If I ask you a question you can't answer, you'll have to give me $5, but if you ask me a question that I can't answer, I'll give you $500." and the blond agreed

"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands

it to the lawyer.

"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with

his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word the blonde shrugs, reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

[Guest]

A ventriloquist was on stage doing his act. Through his dummy he starts telling a blonde joke to the audience. Suddenly, a blonde in the audience stands up and interupts his joke saying "I can't believe you have the nerve to get up on stage and tell blonde jokes like that. It's people like you that give us blondes such a bad name!" the ventriloquist puts down his dummy and says, "i'm terribly sorry, i didnt mean to - " The blonde interupts saying "you stay out of this! I'm talking to the little guy!"

[EDM]

this blond at my school apperently has 7 sences sight, sound, smell, touch, tast, hotness (her words not mine)

Apparently that blonde's lost her common sense because she only listed 6 of them.......

[Guest]

No. Common sense is the seventh. Not that she would know that as she listed hotness which is not a sense at all.

[Guest]

At the religious school where I studied when I was a child, I was told that the 6th and 7th senses are telepathy and intuition. Makes more sense than hotness

Anyway

A blonde was driving her car when some guy crashed into her, leaving a dent on the door. She got out to complain and he told her to blow on the muffler to "inflate" the car and make the dent go away. She began to do so and he drove away, then her friend(also blond) was driving by and stopped to ask what she was doing. She explained and her friend said "Oh my God you're so dumb, you forgot to close the door".

I tried to translate the joke but I'm not fluent in English, so I apologize if there's any mistake.

[Guest]

At the religious school where I studied when I was a child, I was told that the 6th and 7th senses are telepathy and intuition. Makes more sense than hotness

Anyway

A blonde was driving her car when some guy crashed into her, leaving a dent on the door. She got out to complain and he told her to blow on the muffler to "inflate" the car and make the dent go away. She began to do so and he drove away, then her friend(also blond) was driving by and stopped to ask what she was doing. She explained and her friend said "Oh my God you're so dumb, you forgot to close the door".

I tried to translate the joke but I'm not fluent in English, so I apologize if there's any mistake.

Like when you crush a water bottle, and you blow on it to get the dents out!

[Guest]

Like when you crush a water bottle, and you blow on it to get the dents out!

Precisely(I like quoting The Architect). Maybe you could do this with a car, if you could blow as hard as an airplane turbine or something like that