[Guest]

One day a man went to an auction. There he saw an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid. The price was high but the fine bird was finally his!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

[Guest]

And one more here.....

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

[akaslickster]

Good ones. Must be new :-)

[OmegaScales]

A parrot is brought on board a cruise ship that has a magician. Now, as the magician performs, the parrot keeps giving away his secrets. "RAA RAA It's up his sleeve, up his sleeve." One night, when everyone is asleep, the ship crashes into an iceberg, and only the parrot and magician survive. The parrot keeps staring at the magician until he wakes up. Then it says...

"Okay, wise guy. What did you do with the ship?"

[MissKitten]

A parrot is brought on board a cruise ship that has a magician. Now, as the magician performs, the parrot keeps giving away his secrets. "RAA RAA It's up his sleeve, up his sleeve." One night, when everyone is asleep, the ship crashes into an iceberg, and only the parrot and magician survive. The parrot keeps staring at the magician until he wakes up. Then it says...

"Okay, wise guy. What did you do with the ship?"

this is the way i heard it.

A magician and his parrot are on the titanic. the magician starts putting on a show, but everything is going wrong. He does a card trick but fumbles and everybody sees the trick. The parrot says, "haha, you stink, you stink." The magician does a levitation trick, but the strings break. The parrot says,"haha, you stink, you stink." Finally, the magician says, "and now i will make this ship disappear." At that very moment, the Titanic hits the iceberg and sinks. As the magician is clinging to a piece of debris and the parrot is clinging to his shoulder, the parrot says, "wow, you're better than i thought!"