[MissKitten]

Since I remembered this joke, I felt like posting it before I forgot.

So Timmy was a relatively young boy. He was walking to school one morning when a purple squirrel sprang out of the bushes and scared him half to death. He freaked out, screamed, and stood rooted to his spot in shock for several minutes after the squirrel ran away. Then he remembered he had school, and hightailed to the school.

But he was still late. The teacher asked him, "Timmy, why are you late?"

Timmy, out of breath, replied, "Sorry... *pant pant* But a purple.... *pant pant* squirrel jumped out at me.....*pant pant* and--"

"TIMMY!" cried the teacher. "I never thought you would say something like that! Go to the principal's office! NOW!"

Confused, Timmy made his way to the principal's office. The principal asked, "Well, hello there, Timmy! What are you doing here? You never get in trouble."

Timmy replied, "Well, I was late to school because a purple squirrel--"

The principal jumped in his chair, almost knocking his desk over. "TIMMY!" he cried. "Why would you say such a thing? Get out of this school! You've been expelled!"

More than a little puzzled, Timmy despondently [vocab word! yay!] made his way back home. At home, his mother saw him come in and asked, "Why Timmy, you're supposed to be at school. Why are you here?"

"Well," said Timmy, hoping his mother could help him understand what was going on. "I was late to school and I tried to tell the teacher why and she sent me to the principal and the principal expelled me and I don't know why."

"And why were you late, Timmy?" his mother asked.

"A purple squirrel--"

"TIMMY! How dare you! No son of mine says such horrible things!" screamed his mother in shock and anger. "Get out of this house! You've been disowned! Don't ever set foot here again!"

So Timmy proceeded to the police station. The officer on duty asked him, "Hey there Timmy! Are you here to report a crime?"

"No, sir," replied Timmy.

"Then why are you here?" asked the officer.

"Well, I've been kicked out of my classroom, my school, AND my house, and I was hoping you could help me."

"And why were you kicked out?"

"Well, a purple squirrel--"

"TIMMY! What did you just say? Get out of this station before I arrest you!" screamed the police officer.

So Timmy went to the mayor's office. The mayor asked, "Hello, son! And what are you doing here this fine day?"

"Well, I've been kicked out of my classroom, my school, my home, AND the police station, and I think I know why, but it makes no sense and I was hoping you could explain it to me."

"And what do you think is the reason, son? Maybe I can help you."

"Well, I think it's because I said 'purple squirrels' but that makes no--"

"TIMMY!" screamed the mayor. "You of all people should know not to say that! Oh, the horror! What is the youth becoming? Get out of this city!"

So Timmy made his way towards Washington, D.C., and, eventually, the White House. He met the president, who said, "Timmy! What a surprise! What are you doing here?"

Now more confused then ever, Timmy asked, "Well, Mr. President, I have a bit of a dilemma and I was hoping you could help me out?"

"And what may that dilemma be?" asked the president.

"Well, sir, I was kicked out of my classroom, my school, my home, the police station, AND my city," replied Timmy, ticking them off on his fingers. "And I have a theory, but it makes no sense. I think it's because I said 'purple squirrels', but--"

"TIMMY!" said the president in shock. "I never expected such a well-bred young boy such as you to say something as horrible as that! Get out of this country!"

So Timmy started making his way to the airport to board a flight to England. As he was crosing a busy street, he was so absorbed in his puzzlement that he didn't notice the semi barreling down on him. The semi wasn't able to stop in time and ran him over, instantly killing him.

Look both ways before crossing the road!

Desperate plea for forgiveness: I didn't mean it! Please don't kill me!

Also, credit is due here as well. I credit hotterthnfire for telling me this joke and almost being murdered in the process because he wasted five minutes of my life. Yes, it really is that long told aloud.

[MissKitten]

Thank you EDM. *nods*

*whispers* To the mod...

[Guest]

To those on BrainDen who don't know Miki IRL(yes, she is my classmate due to tragic fate ): DO NOT FALL FOR HER CUTESY INNOCENT EXPRESSION! As far as I'm concerned, she can be worse than the purple squirrels....and Timmy, who is apparently mentally challenged.

Oh, MissSmittenKitten, I call dibs on Greeni. And I still wub you, so that should make up for the insane desire to strangle me tomorrow.

[MissKitten]

I thought we had already established all of those facts...

And yeah, we've already been over that, Roy-chan. You get it first, and then that one random kid, and then me, unless our friend gets done with hers first, in which case a whole lot of complicated crap happens that I don't feel like thinking about. The vectors are screwing with my brain, Roy-chan! T.T

[Guest]

Well, the vectors were screwing with your brain, so I had to double check to make sure that the smallest hint of sanity was still within you....and it is!

[Quag]

To those on BrainDen who don't know Miki IRL(yes, she is my classmate due to tragic fate ): DO NOT FALL FOR HER CUTESY INNOCENT EXPRESSION! As far as I'm concerned, she can be worse than the purple squirrels....and Timmy, who is apparently mentally challenged.

Hmm this implies that miki is mentally challenged! I am sure you didnt mean it that way though, as we all know she is actually mentally challenging

and nefarious in her ummm nefarious plots.

but ive said too much already

[Guest]

I figured that the moral of the story is:

Timmy should always wear his helmet.

[MissKitten]

@Quag Hey! I'm not men-- okay, fine, yes I am. And you keep on mentioning these so-called nefarious plots of mine.... I'm innocent! Why do you hate me so! *cries*

Sorry, I'm usually not so dramatic.

@Chad That would have been smart...

And finally, last and least...

@Roy-chan Well, we already know that my sanity is gone....

[Quag]

Miki, mentally challenged is insulting and i am sure hotterthnfire did not mean to imply that you were. i was just pointing out that it coudl be construed that way. Mentally challenging means that you get others to use their brains which is a good thing and kinda what this forum is about so it was a compliment.

As to the nefarious plots well there is the one where you seem to hijack threads and get them to no longer be about their original topic but more about you. Normally i would say it is is more narcissistic than nefarious but i know you have dark plans for world conquest behind this, or perhaps just the tristate area, im a bit nebulous on your exact intentions, but they are nefarious! I know this because I keep seeing nefarious and your name near each other in post after post and even if i am the one typing those posts it cannot just be a coincidence. Mostly i think it happens because you seem to have a similar twisted sense of humour as myself

[EDM]

*whispers* the mods will join me to sing about the p----- squirrels....

Geez, MiKi....atleast you could've told them how you became nefarious.....

(due to my excessive smiley usage... )

Edited November 11, 2011 by EDM

[MissKitten]

@Quag Not really, I'm sure Roy-chan meant it exactly that way, but it's cool, since we have this casual exchange of insults all the time. And, I don't actually mean for that to happen! It just does! Because, somehow, you and Roy-chan, and a couple others turn everything into one my so-called "nefarious plots." Which, I will admit, I do have. They just don't happen to be anything you say they are. Mostly they involve crushing Roy-chan's hopes and dreams. Kidding, I'm not that cruel. And yeah, we probably do have the same sardonic sense of humor.

@EDM Yes.... I'm sure they will join you.... *slowly backs away* And yeah, I suppose I could've, but where's the fun in that? Let secrets remain secrets, I say.

[EDM]

*sigh* I guess so...

[MissKitten]

Oh noez! The smileys are messing wif my bwain!

Edited November 12, 2011 by MissKitten