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hello, my name is fred.

you should know me, i'm by your bed.

i'm flat,

not fat.

and.

i.

like

big.

butts and i cannot lie!

i come in many sizes,

and sometimes, i hold prizes.

why would you even do that to me,

every single night?

i'm just a skinny valuable, and you give me much fright!

hey, dude!

could you fix me up,

with some water, and some soap?

i don't really need it,

it's you for whom i'm concerned.

look at all those little demons,

just crawling every-which way!

don't you want them gone?

just to be rid?

if i were you i'd smite them,

with some homemade formula.

who am i. i hope you like it. (it's my third)

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It is your sheets/blanket talking about bed bugs.

yeah, it's the sheets, and the demons are the bedbugs. and it's angry because you sit on it all night and that's why it likes big butts, too.

all of my riddles are going very fast lately.

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