[Guest]

I heard this from my sister, who is blonde, "Ten women are hanging on to a rope, hooked to a cliff, for dear life. Nine are blonde. It won't hold all of them for much longer. The brunette hanging from the rope says, "I will let go and sacrifice myself for all of you." The blondes clap.

[Guest]

so this blonde comes running into a library screaming and yelling at the lady behind the check out desk. "I borrowed this book from this library last week, and it is the worst book i have ever read!!! It has too many names and a crapy plot!!!"

"Aaaahhh," replied the check out lady, " You must be the person who took our phone book."

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Heres another joke...not a blonde joke but it is directed towards women...

Your dog's barking at the back door. Your wife's barking at the front.

Who do you let in?

Well, it's your call... but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.

[Guest]

There had been a party at Valhalla. Thor (the god) woke up with a splitting headache. Slowly he untangled himself from the bearskin covering him and the beautiful (blonde) valkyrie who watched him regaining his consciousness. Thor (the god) could not remember a single thing from the night before. So, cautiously (and a little sheepishly), he said, "Hi. I'm Thor."

And the valkyrie replied, "You're thor ?! I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!!"

[Guest]

There had been a party at Valhalla. Thor (the god) woke up with a splitting headache. Slowly he untangled himself from the bearskin covering him and the beautiful (blonde) valkyrie who watched him regaining his consciousness. Thor (the god) could not remember a single thing from the night before. So, cautiously (and a little sheepishly), he said, "Hi. I'm Thor."

And the valkyrie replied, "You're thor ?! I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!!"

[Guest]

OKAY!!! WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE PUTTING SEVERAL OF THE SAME POSTS ON HERE?!?! HELLO!!! DO YOU NOT REALIZE IT'S PLAGIARIZING!!!! C'MON!!

Ravi Brahmbhatt:

A blonde walks straight up to a librarian and says "I have a complain. I borrowed a book last week and it was absolutely horrible. It has too many characters but no plot at all."

The librarian says, "Ah! You must be the lady who took our telephone directory."

WESTICLES:

so this blonde comes running into a library screaming and yelling at the lady behind the check out desk. "I borrowed this book from this library last week, and it is the worst book i have ever read!!! It has too many names and a crapy plot!!!"

"Aaaahhh," replied the check out lady, " You must be the person who took our phone book."

SAME JOKE...SLIGHT DIFFERENT WORDINGS...STILL GOIN' FOR PLAGIARIZING!!! (THERE'S A COUPLE MORE TOO...)

[Guest]

hey know...just simmer down haha...i did not mean to steal anybodies joke i was just posting some i knew and by no means came up with on my own. They are just jokes. there is no reason to get upset. Jokes are supposed to make you glad not mad!!

[Guest]

and sorry ravi i didnt realize you had posted the joke already

[Guest]

neither of them remember what happened last night because they were a little drunk, so obviously, there was a little hanky panky going on last night.

Thor is introducing himself, but valkyrie has a lisp.

so, just slowly say her sentence out loud and you'll get it.

[Guest]

hey know...just simmer down haha...i did not mean to steal anybodies joke i was just posting some i knew and by no means came up with on my own. They are just jokes. there is no reason to get upset. Jokes are supposed to make you glad not mad!!

yah...I know, but it's kinda ridiculous at how many ppl r "taking" others jokes'n'stuff. sorry...uh, yeah.

[Guest]

neither of them remember what happened last night because they were a little drunk, so obviously, there was a little hanky panky going on last night.

Thor is introducing himself, but valkyrie has a lisp.

so, just slowly say her sentence out loud and you'll get it.

Uh, is she saying she can't go potty (pith-pi**)? ugh... <_<

[Guest]

Here are a few (may have been already posted before):

How Blonde Is She???

She was Soooooooo Blonde

* She thought a quarterback was a refund.

* She thought General Motors was in the army.

* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.'

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.

* Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics'

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde..

* She tripped over a cordless phone.

* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'Concentrate.'

* She told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.'

* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She studied for a blood test.

* She sold the car for gas money.

* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.

* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home.

She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde ..

* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved..

* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.'

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

[Guest]

A blond guy and his pregnant wife were happily married.

One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital.

He held her hand as she went through a trying birth.

In the end, she gave birth to twin baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily demanded, "All right, who's the father of the other baby!?!"

BTW, for those of you who keep saying you have nothing against blondes, you should know that I have everything against blonde guys who are dumb.

[Guest]

* She thought a quarterback was a refund.

* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.'

* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

* She tripped over a cordless phone.

* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home.

* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.'

These are my faves!!! :lol:

BTW-

* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'Concentrate.'

This was already on here...I think it was under my name (4wheelchick) 'cause I heard it from Bill Foxworthy on his "Stupid People"

[Guest]

A blond guy and his pregnant wife were happily married.

One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital.

He held her hand as she went through a trying birth.

In the end, she gave birth to twin baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily demanded, "All right, who's the father of the other baby!?!"

BTW, for those of you who keep saying you have nothing against blondes, you should know that I have everything against blonde guys who are dumb.

:lol: :lol:

[Guest]

I have one here.....

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as

stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is O K.

She replies yes. He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to Him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by Painting the

house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

...

...

...

...

...

*FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.*

[Guest]

Wow! Love that one woon!! Never heard of it...and know I LOVE it!! :lol: :lol:

[akaslickster]

Not exactly the same as above so I thought I would do it right.

Out of all the blonde jokes, this one's a keeper!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had

great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how

she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and

all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were

killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the

game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the

quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25cents!!!!

[Joe's Student]

Q: How do you know a blonde has been at your computer?

A: There's Tipp-Ex all over the screen.

[Guest]

Q: How do you know a blonde has been at your computer?

A: There's Tipp-Ex all over the screen.

[Guest]

How do you keep a blonde busy?

Scroll Down

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How do you keep a blonde busy?

Scroll up.

[Guest]

Two sisters are running a farm. One is blonde, one brunette. One day the brunette goes to another farm to see a bull and decide whether to buy it or not. she tells her sister: "If I decide to buy it, I'll send you a fax telling you to come get it, okay?" her sister agrees so she goes to the farm, looks a t the bull and decides to buy it. However, when she tries to send her sister a fax, she realises she only has enough money for one word. She thinks for a moment and then she says to the post office guy: "comfortable. send her the word comfortable." the post office guy is confused. "comfortable?" he asks. "but how will that let your sister know to come for the bull?" "My sisters a blonde" she replies. "shell read it very slow".

[Guest]

A blond walks into a var - ow

Two blonds walk into a bar - no such thing as safety in numbers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A blond is standing in a parking lot frantically trying to dial a locksmith. She dials it in and the phone starts to ring.

Someone answers the other end, "Thank you for call Sir Picks a Lot, how can I help you.?"

"I've locked my keys in my car, it looks like its going to rain, and I left the top down!"

*click*

"...helloooo..."

[Guest]

A blond is standing in a parking lot frantically trying to dial a locksmith. She dials it in and the phone starts to ring.

Someone answers the other end, "Thank you for call Sir Picks a Lot, how can I help you.?"

"I've locked my keys in my car, it looks like its going to rain, and I left the top down!"

*click*

"...helloooo..."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Guest]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

definitely a version of an oldie but since it wasn't here I figured it needed to be done

[Guest]

A blonde, a redhead and a brunnette are about to be executed. As the brunnette steps into the line of fire, she suddenly shouts"TORNADO!" and points into the distance. Everyone looks around in a panic, and she escapes.

The redhead is next. However, just as she is about to be shot she screams "EARTHQUAKE!" and again, in the confusion, she escapes.

Last of all, the blonde steps forward. She is confident by now she has a good plan.

"ready...aim..."

And the blonde shrieks: "FIRE!"

[Guest]

A blonde, a redhead and a brunnette are about to be executed. As the brunnette steps into the line of fire, she suddenly shouts"TORNADO!" and points into the distance. Everyone looks around in a panic, and she escapes.

The redhead is next. However, just as she is about to be shot she screams "EARTHQUAKE!" and again, in the confusion, she escapes.

Last of all, the blonde steps forward. She is confident by now she has a good plan.

"ready...aim..."

And the blonde shrieks: "FIRE!"

<_< This is already on here (TWICE.) It might be considered plagiarism. Sorry