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Best Yo Momma Jokes


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4 replies to this topic

#1 Poul

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 05:06 PM

Joke #1:

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Spell.

Spell who?

W-H-O.

 

Joke #2:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes me. Who ish you?

 

Joke #3:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule never know!

 

Joke #4:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
I mist.
I mist who?
I mist you at the party last night.

 

Joke #5:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Wood.
Wood who?
Wood you like to let me in now?


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#2 BMAD

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 06:12 PM

I don't believe these are what is meant by 'yo momma jokes'


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#3 BMAD

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 06:13 PM

Yo mama is so stupid that when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama is so stupid that you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama is so stupid that she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.
Yo mama is so stupid that that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama is so stupid that when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "OK".
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Grape Nuts was an STD.
Yo mama is so stupid that she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
Yo mama is so stupid that she asked me what yield meant, I said "Slow down" and she said "What... does.... yield... mean?"
Yo mama is so stupid that she failed a survey.
Yo mama is so stupid that she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo mama is so stupid, she went to the aquarium to buy a Blu-Ray.
Yo mama is so stupid that I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart.
Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window.
Yo mama is so stupid that she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Yo mama is so stupid that I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she locked her keys in the car, it took her all day to get Yo family out.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she pulled into the drive-thru at McDonald's, she drove through the window.
Yo mama is so stupid that she brought a cup to the movie "Juice."
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo mama is so stupid that she uses Old Spice for cooking.
Yo mama is so stupid that she threw a rock the ground and missed.
Yo mama is so stupid, that she thought Moby Dick was a sexually transmitted disease.
Yo mama is so stupid that she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama is so stupid that she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama is so stupid that that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama is so stupid that she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama is so stupid that she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama is so stupid that she ordered her sushi well done.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

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#4 BMAD

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 06:14 PM

Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.
Yo mama is so fat that light bends around her.
Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad.
Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance.
Yo mama is so fat that she was zoned for commercial development.
Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it’s over for everybody.
Yo mama is so fat that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton to display her picture.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was growing up she didn’t play with dolls, she played with midgets.
Yo mama is so fat that she uses two buses for roller-blades.
Yo mama's so fat she blew up the Deathstar.
Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers won’t look at her.
Yo mama is so fat that the highway patrol made her wear a sign saying "Caution! Wide Turn".
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please".
Yo mama is so fat that God couldn't light the Earth until she moved!
Yo mama is so fat that even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama is so fat that she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama is so fat that she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of June.
Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama is so fat that she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls a**, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton’s got an echo.
Yo mama is so fat that when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.

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#5 BMAD

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 06:16 PM

Yo mama is so ugly that the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama is so ugly that we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a s*** wagon.
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate contained an apology letter from the condom factory.
Yo mama is so ugly that that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"
Yo mama is so ugly that her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo mama is so ugly that they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama is so ugly that they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
Yo mama is so ugly that you have to tie a steak around her neck so the dog will play with her!
Yo mama is so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!
Yo mama is so ugly that when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.
Yo mama is so ugly that she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!
Yo mama is so ugly that they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down.
Yo mama is so ugly that she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit by the whole damn tree.
Yo mama is so ugly that she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo mama is so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Yo mama is so ugly that she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
Yo mama is so ugly that Santa pays an elf to drop off her gifts at Christmas.
Yo mama is so ugly that people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama is so ugly that if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama is so ugly that she put the Boogie Man out of business!

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