[Guest]

A woman finds an antique brass oil lamp half-buried in the ground. She pulls it up, brushes the dirt off of it, and, remembering the Aladdin story, rubs it three times. Sure enough, a genie comes out, saying, "You have set me free. For this, I will reward you three wishes." The woman thinks, and says "I wish I had a red sportscar." And a nice red convertible sportscar appeared in a puff of smoke in front of her. "Now I wish I had a million dollars, for a shopping spree!" And so a million dollars appeared in the trunk of her new red sportscar. The genie says "And your third wish?" The woman thinks a little bit, then says "I'll save it for later, just to be safe." So she is driving her brand-new red sportscar to the mall, with a million dollars in the back, singing along to her favorite song, 'I Wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner'

[MissKitten]

haha, ive heard this one before.

here's another one:

so a man is on an island. he finds a lamp and rubs it three times. out pops a genie and sure enough, says, "i will grant you three wishes." so the man thinks and says, "i wish i had a million puonds of gold." Poof! there's a million pounds of gold on the island. then he says, "i wish i had a nice new ferrari." Poof! ther's a nice new ferrari on the island. then he thinks long and hard and finally says, "i wish i was irresistible to girls." Poof! the man is turned into a barbie doll.

and another one:

so a lady is on a deserted island with her cat. She finds a lamp and rubs it. sure enough, a genie pops out. but this genie is really mean, and only grants the lady one wish. So the lady thinks and thinks and thinks some more, and finally says, "i wish my cat was arnold swchartzenneger(that is how you spell it, right?)." "so be it" says the genie. and poof! her cat is turned into arnold swchartzenneger. As the lady jumps into his lap, he says, "i bet you wish you hadnt had me neutered last week, huh?"

[Guest]

Lol good ones. Last one a LITTLE bit disturbing, but o well. still pretty good. I'm not sure, but I think it might be something along the lines of (Yes, I described my answer as indefinite 3 times) Schwarzenneger, but I really don't know

[MissKitten]

(Yes, I described my answer as indefinite 3 times)

haha!

[OmegaScales]

An Irishman walks down the bar and finds a dusty old lamp, so he rubs it. A genie pops out saying he'll grant him three wishes. The Irishman thinks and wishes for a beer that is never empty. Poof! He has a glass in his hand. he drinks it down, and just before it's empty, it magically refills itself. "Okay. What are your other two wishes?" "I want two more 'o these."

Edited October 26, 2010 by OmegaScales