[Guest]

It was Wednesday. Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[Guest]

/chortle

/snicker

Nice one. I think I'll use that.

[Guest]

Along those lines......

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a

cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why,

he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************

My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"

I replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from

0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started....

************************************************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her

the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,

and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat

alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.

I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those

many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,

took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah,

she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started......

[plasmid]

Along those lines, if you ever get asked the question "Do these pants make me look fat?" and you know you're going to get in trouble no matter how you answer, you might as well do something to deserve the punishment you're about to get.

I don't think the pants have anything to do with it.

[Guest]

Lol. Good ones, Palmerc and plasmid.

[Guest]

You guys wanna hear a great joke (before you really read it, understand that I'm not serious, it is just a joke)

women's rights

[Guest]

You know whats super funny?

Men who think their smarter than girls!

[Guest]

You know whats super funny? (JUST A JOKE!)

Men who think their smarter than girls!

[Guest]

LOL! Simple, but really funny!

[Mekal]

You know whats super funny?

Men who think their smarter than girls!

lol... no offense... but you do realize that you used the wrong spelling of their... it should be they're

[Guest]

Hahahaha I enjoyed this one! Thanks for sharing.