Guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery. 2. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative. 3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments. 4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. 5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. 6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. 7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. 9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? 10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? 11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. 12. Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas. 13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. 14. Without geometry, life is pointless. 15. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. 16. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. 17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. 18. Definition of a will - A dead giveaway. 19. A backwards poet writes inverse. 20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 21. If you don't pay the exorcist, you get repossessed. 22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. 24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart. 26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine. 27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. 29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large. 30. Once you've seen one large shopping center, you've seen a mall. 31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge must be in Seine . 32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye. 33. Acupuncture is a jab well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 The first few were funny, but they were mostly just bad puns that weren't really worth anything. 3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments. Favorite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 akaslickster Posted December 2, 2008 Report Share Posted December 2, 2008 These are amusing. Especially since I have not read them before. Good job! FanQ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Never heard most of these before! Hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted December 5, 2008 Report Share Posted December 5, 2008 Hilarious. my fav is #3 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery.
2. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
3. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
12. Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
14. Without geometry, life is pointless.
15. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
16. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
18. Definition of a will - A dead giveaway.
19. A backwards poet writes inverse.
20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
21. If you don't pay the exorcist, you get repossessed.
22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.
26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.
30. Once you've seen one large shopping center, you've seen a mall.
31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge must be in Seine .
32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.
33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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