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  1. A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even that hurts", she cried. The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger!"
  2. A blonde was out of money so she went to her neighbor's house and asked if she could do any odd jobs for them. The husband replied that their porch needed to be repainted and asked how much it would cost. The blonde replied only $5. Only $5 dollars the husband thought, that is cheap? Yes she replied as it won't take me that long to do. So the husband told her where the paint was and went back inside. He told his wife about it and she asked if he had told her that it was a rap-around porch?. The husband said no, but assumed she knew since she was standing on it. About 20 minutes later the blonde reappeared saying she had already finished painting the porch, the husband looked quite happy and pleased as she had finished so quickly. The blonde lady also said that there had been enough paint left over, to add a second coat! The husband looked bewildered, and asked how that could be? He had only bought enough paint for one coat on the porch? anyway after giving her the $5 dollars he asked,.....Did you paint around the back of the porch as well?... The blonde replied, she didn't know anything about painting a "porch"?.....And by the way it is pronounced Porche not Porch!
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