[Guest]

ok, here's a collection of stupid robber stories i've heard:

-(this is my favorite)there's a guy that's robbing a winery of all it's wine, so the person he's robbing says, "i can't give you this until you prove you're over 18, i'm going to need some identification" and the robber gives him his driver's lisence!!! (he was arrested shortly after)

-2 people are trying to rob a bank, and they get there 5 minutes before opening time. so they wait. the employees inside see them and call the cops.

-there is a guy that robbed $2,000 from an armored car. in pennies. the cops caught up to him pretty fast.

-2 guys are fleeing on foot after a robbery, and they runs straight into 2 cops. they wait there for 2 hours waiting to be arrested, then the REAL cops show up! the cops they ran into were actors!!!!

-there's a guy fleeing from the cops in a dark alleyway, and the cops caught up to him pretty quick. his shoes were the kind that light up when you step!!!

-a woman that lives in a trailer, robs $100,000,000 from the bank she works at, then she buys a mansion. someone noticed the dramatic change in homes.

-a guy robbed a gas station, and covered his fave with duct tape. it worked out, but think of how it would feel removing that duct tape!

-there was a guy that got arrested i don't know how, but when he went to jail, he hid a bag of marijuana in his butt.(i don't know if this is actually true, but its funny anyway!)

-one man stole a bunch of expensive paintings, then when he was caught in a house with nowhere to hide the paintings, and the cops about to enter, he started to eat the paintings!!!!!!

-one guy ran a stop sign, then when a cop tried to pull him over, he sped up, and started a car chase. all for avoiding being pulled over for a stop sign.

-one guy pulled off the perfect robbery. he stole a million bucks, no way for anyone to catch him, and he felt guilty about it. he wrote a sorry card and turned himself in.

that's all i can think of right now.

[Guest]

Doesn't this belong in the jokes sect?

I don't know any stupid crimminal storys, but here's my shot.

At a DQ, some nerd gave the lady a 200 $ bill with George Bush on it. She fell for it and gave him ice cream and change. Needless to say, she got fired.

ha!! is george w bush on any $? im not sure.

[Guest]

ha!! is george w bush on any $? im not sure.

no. I don't think anyone would WANT him on their money.

[Guest]

i've got one but it ends badly...

this guy was on probation and he robed a store, after getting away with his girlfriend he gets pulled over by a police officer. Turns out he had a can of pepper-spray on his person and he couldn't get caught with it because it would go against his probation. oh yeah...they said guy was on probation for possesion of drugs and, well...you know how they sometimes "hide" the drugs...anyway he did the same thing here with the can of pepper-spray. the officer of the law then asked the said probationeer to step out of his car. Things got rough and the officer pushed the guy against the car and the spray can went off...the guy felt a burning sensation then after a little bit...he died...btw this was on 1000 Ways To Die.

[Guest]

I've seen some of those myself... Ah, stupidity at it's best =D

[Guest]

Okay, so in 2002, there was a basketball game. But at the end of the game, the ball was stolen. So a crazy fanatic of this Bball team/ cop, went around investigating everyone. So he cam up to a lady with a basket ball sized lump on her stomach. He thought it was the ball so he kicked it. It turns out she was just pregnant. 20 years for "the cop..."

[Guest]

Here are some more stupid crims:

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

This one is brilliant:

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

Imagine waitng for the bus and ending up in a mental hospital trying to tell the nurses that your actually fine!

[Guest]

all of these are really funny!

okay i have one:

on a hot day in august my friend wanted some ice cream, her friend decided to steal some. one of them stood at the place where you order and kept changing her mind on what she wanted while the other one was sneaking in the back of the truck. he managed to steal ten ice creams, all different flavors, and he made it to his house when the ice cream lady noticed. the ice cream lady jumped out of the truck and ran after him. he made it safely into his room and hid the ice cream in his mini fridge. the other friend went to the window and told him the ice cream lady was coming. he handed her some ice cream and began eating the rest. as he was finishing the last ice cream his parents come in his room with the ice cream lady right behind them. he hid all the wrappers under his bed, but he accidentally left one visible. the ice cream lady began screaming at him saying "you're the brat who stole my ice cream! look there's the evidence!" before his parents looked he shoved the wrapper under his bed. his parents were furious! they got the ice cream lady fired and the kid ended up with ten free ice creams that were partially melted when he got home.

[Guest]

Here's one I got in an e-mail

A man wanted to make some money off of stolen copper. He went into a demolition site and looked for anything interesting. He saw a three-inch-thick copper pipe and instantly thought how much money that pipe would fetch. It was too heavy for him to move. He made off with some smaller pieces of copper but could not stop thinking of the pipe. Later, he returned with bolt cutters and attempted to cut the pipe. ZAP! The pipe actually had 11,000 volts of power in it. It was clearly labled: DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!

[Guest]

Did you know...

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Did you know...

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Did you know...

When police arrived in Appleton, Wisconsin to remove a woman's children because of a complaint that she had given her 11-year-old daughter a "swirlie" (Holding her head in a flushing toilet). The woman reportedly said, "I haven't had a vacation in 13 years, go ahead and take them!"

[Guest]

Try this one on for size....

A man walked into a store with a hand gun and pointed it at the cashier, demanding that he give him all of the money. However, there were four tiny problems that caused this robbery attempt to fail.

1. The store that the man was robbing was a gun store.

2. The gun store the crook had chosen to rob happened to be hosting a special gun expo, which was displayed in colorful, bold letters on the outside of the store. To this day, the crook is probably the only man in existence that can say that he had guns from five different eras pointed at him at once.

3. Among the gun enthusiasts were several policemen, some of which had come to the expo in their police cars: which, of course, the crook would have had to have passed in order to enter the store.

4. It was later discovered that the man's pistol wasn't even loaded: he had planned to use the gun to scare the clerk.

Needless to say, the robbery attempt lasted all of two seconds. However, miraculously, the man only had to spend a year in the hospital recuperating from his gunshot wounds.

*Edited for Grammar

Edited September 8, 2009 by IMLRG

[Guest]

a man on robbed a glue factory. he got stuck in glue and got caught

[Guest]

Here's one I heard on the radio –

So, these two boys decided to rob a building, to impress their mates. They broke in easily, but the cops caught them easily.

How?

The building they broke into was the police station!!

[Guest]

Okay so this one is kinda old but funny none the less. Its in the form of a video

[OmegaScales]

Here's a story I read a long time ago. I forget some parts of it, but it is 110% true.

A man was in jail (I forget why) but that didn't stop him from stealing items to make his stay more comfortable. He managed to pry the bars apart somehow and "sneak in" food, games, and even a tv and recliner! Needless to say, he got found out.

When I read this, I thought, "why didn't he just run away?"