Guest Posted September 30, 2007 Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 do you know any? and please dont get offended, my wife is blonde and she knows they're just jokes. lighten up people. what do you call a smart blonde? a golden retriever how do you drown a blonde? tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool how do you get a one-armed blonde that's hanging on to a tree limb? you wave how do you get a two-armed blonde that's hanging on to a tree limb? you wave with both hands Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken. Why can't Blondes dial 911? They can't find the eleven on the phone! What is eternity? When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection! What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut seeds. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first? The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions. How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday? Tell it to her on Tuesday. What is a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? To remind her that "toes go in first." What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell - she's got a grenade in her mouth! What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? Artificial intelligence A man was trimming his bushes. His blonde neighbor walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside. Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in. The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?" The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 6, 2007 Report Share Posted October 6, 2007 To Carlson and others: I liked your jokes! I know a bunch but Here's one: How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch 'n' sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool. Also: I work at a summer camp every year and all of us on the staff have an inside joke- when we do something thoughtless or stupid, we call it a "blond moment!" 1 mo' thing: you sound like you have a great sence of humor, what do you think of the well-dressed frog joke??? tkz 4 da laughs!!! ~Elli~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 That cheerios joke is hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 What do you call it when one blonde blows into another blonde's ear? Data transfer. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the hatch. Did you hear about the blonde couple who froze to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see "closed for the winter." A blonde got pregnant and had a maternity test to make sure it was hers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 I have till date not come acrosss any blond person.. Im non-american. Not very experienced in life... curious in certain matters. So just to clear the air, r all(most) blonds jokes true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 I have till date not come acrosss any blond person.. Im non-american. Not very experienced in life... curious in certain matters. So just to clear the air, r all(most) blonds jokes true. no, they're not true. it's just a silly stereotype propagated by celebrities in the media (such as paris hilton, brittney spears, marilyn monroe, pamela anderson, etc) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 I can tell you of a blonde who worked in an office and kept putting the same fax through again and again and again. Why - because it kept coming out the bottom of the machine.. absolutely true story. if your laughing now, think how fuuny it was if you were there. She was later sent a fax with an idiot test type joke on it. At the bottem of the page it said "for answer see reverse" - She took first prize on that one too. See, Blonds are more fun!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 no, they're not true. it's just a silly stereotype propagated by celebrities in the media (such as paris hilton, brittney spears, marilyn monroe, pamela anderson, etc) Sure does media take a celebrity up n brings them down pretty soon. On the other hand your jokes r really hilarious. Thanks for clarifying doubts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 I can tell you of a blonde who worked in an office and kept putting the same fax through again and again and again. Why - because it kept coming out the bottom of the machine.. absolutely true story. if your laughing now, think how fuuny it was if you were there. She was later sent a fax with an idiot test type joke on it. At the bottem of the page it said "for answer see reverse" - She took first prize on that one too. See, Blonds are more fun!!of course, I've also seen brunnettes and redheads and even bald men who are pretty dolt; it's all about their intellligence levels and common sense. some people, for some reason, lack both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) heres a good one. a blonde went to the doctors with the tip of her finger blown off. " how did this happen?" asked the doctor. "i tried to commit suicide!" explained the blonde. "How? by blowing off your finger?" "No silly! first i put the gun to my chest and thought, i just paid $20,000 for these. so then i put it in my mouth and thought, i just paid $10,000 for these so i put the gun in my ear and thought, this is going to be loud so i plugged my other and and pulled the trigger." Edited April 1, 2008 by Ezkaty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 haha these are funny, but i do have blonde haired friends and they are smart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 I had a few blonde friends back in high school and two of them were very smart. But this is all in good fun. I have a couple: Two blondes are walking on the street, and one of them finds a mirror she picks it up and looks into it. and she says " This person looks familiar" so the friend takes the mirror looks into it and replies " You silly, it's me" There's a brunette, a redhaired and a blonde, and they are running away from the police, they come to an alley and they each hide inside some sacks. The police comes and kicks the sack where the brunette is hiding and she goes "Bark! Bark!". Then they kick the sack where the redhaired is hiding and she goes "Meow! Meow!". Finally they kick the sack where the blonde is hiding and she goes "Po-ta-toes" (This one is funnier when is heard). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 To Carlson and others: I liked your jokes! I know a bunch but Here's one: How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch 'n' sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool. Also: I work at a summer camp every year and all of us on the staff have an inside joke- when we do something thoughtless or stupid, we call it a "blond moment!" 1 mo' thing: you sound like you have a great sence of humor, what do you think of the well-dressed frog joke??? tkz 4 da laughs!!! ~Elli~ Yeah, pretty much everyone calls it a blonde moment; it's not really an inside joke if everyone does it. My friends and I call it a guy moment. Why are most dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men can understand them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 How does a blonde kill a bird? Thorws it over a cliff. How does a blonde kill a fish? Drowns it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 How does a blonde kill a bird? Thorws it over a cliff. How does a blonde kill a fish? Drowns it. Not sure about these... Can y'all explain for Ms. Blonde Once again I have nothing against blondes. C y'all latah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 u try to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff and it will simply fly away. same thing with the fish, it cant drown....it's a fish. thus, the blonde is trying to kill something with something that obviously will not kill them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 u try to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff and it will simply fly away. same thing with the fish, it cant drown....it's a fish. thus, the blonde is trying to kill something with something that obviously will not kill them. Ohhhh...hehe durh, sorry...I musta been having a "Blonde" moment (As I said "help Ms.Blonde.) Me like... C y'all latah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 14, 2008 Report Share Posted May 14, 2008 Another blonde joke What do you call 5 blondes in a line? A wind tunnel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 14, 2008 Report Share Posted May 14, 2008 Another blonde joke What do you call 5 blondes in a line? A wind tunnel. Is this because they are not smaht...duh (whoops) I've heard sometin like dis... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 14, 2009 Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 My friend is blonde, and i have to say, sometimes with her you wonder if all blondes realy are this dumb..the only reason i haven't come to this conclusion is that im blonde natraly, and am not like how she is most of the time ; well here's a good story example of my friend She woke up to feed her pet rooster one morning around 6:30am and called me all panicy, she said "Oh my god i don't know what to do! I went out to feed Beaker (the rooster) and saw an egg! Now I'm realy worried that something is wrong with him!" To wich i replied, in the most sarcastic voice possible, "Oh man! You'd better get him to the vets office as soon as you can!" You'd figure she'd notice the sarcasm...Instead she showed up at my door about 15 minutes later and was begging me to go with her, saying that she realy needed me to be with her when all of this went down. I almost busted a gut laughing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 14, 2009 Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 lol, I have one: There's a blonde in the middle of a big field and she's stuck in a canoe. A blonde pulls over and yells to her, "what are you doing out there?" The first blonde says, "I lost the paddles and I can't get back, come help me." The second blonde says "I can't" and naturally the first blonde asks why not, to which the other blonde replies "I can't swim" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 14, 2009 Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 lol, okay howbout this one; A blonde is locked outside her car at a jiffy store, with the keys inside and the windows rolled up. So she walks into the store and asks the cashier for something to help her get into her car, to wich he does. Later he decided, noting the car that was still in the parkinglot, that he would go and check up on her. As he walks outside he can hear a voice, "No no, a little to the left." said the blonde inside the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 21, 2009 Report Share Posted July 21, 2009 whats the first thing a blonde does in the morning? she gets up and goes home. why did the blonde's belly button hurt in the morning? her boyfriend is also blonde. what is a blonde's idea of safe sex? locking the car door. why did god invent blondes? because sheep cant get beer from the fridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 A blond a redhead and a brunette were on an island. They found a genie. The genie said, "I can only grant three wishes so each of you will get one." The brunette said, "I miss my family. Bring me home." The brunette was brought home. The same thing happened with the redhead. The blond then burst into tears. "I'm all alone! I wish my friends were back here!" A second try to get off the island involved swimming the distance to the shore was 20 miles. The brunette swims three miles and then comes back being to tired. The redhead makes seven miles before coming back. The blond swims ten miles and says, "This is to difficult!" and swims back. I don't think that they'll ever make it off that island. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 28, 2009 Report Share Posted July 28, 2009 Just found this one, it was too funny to pass up. . . Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen? It's the proper place to wash vegetables Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
Guest
do you know any?
and please dont get offended, my wife is blonde and she knows they're just jokes.
lighten up people.
what do you call a smart blonde?
a golden retriever
how do you drown a blonde?
tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool
how do you get a one-armed blonde that's hanging on to a tree limb?
you wave
how do you get a two-armed blonde that's hanging on to a tree limb?
you wave with both hands
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the eleven on the phone!
What is eternity?
When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios?
Donut seeds.
If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.
How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?
Tell it to her on Tuesday.
What is a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
To remind her that "toes go in first."
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell - she's got a grenade in her mouth!
What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence
A man was trimming his bushes. His blonde neighbor walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside.
Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in.
The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"
The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"
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