Shakeepuddn Posted April 12, 2009 Report Share Posted April 12, 2009 Four careful climbers and their diminutive guide Scaling the face, “Pick me” seemed its cry. They maneuver in squadron, each level to plan, Head to the top, a key for each man. Fretting and bending under weight of their mission, They stick to the schedule, one man’s artful vision. Then the taught rope quivers, being put to the neck; A madman is key to keep it in check. Thus a body abused by the strap was then hung, A well-known event to which ballads are sung. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 DudleyDude Posted April 12, 2009 Report Share Posted April 12, 2009 The first one of Shake's that I think I got w/o resorting to Google Spoiler for My guess: Playing Guitar? Or are you looking for a specific player? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Shakeepuddn Posted April 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2009 You got it Dudly. It needs some rework I think. Too many "key" words if you know what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Shakeepuddn Posted April 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2009 Here's a re-write (a little after the fact, but any suggestions to make it better are welcome) Four careful climbers and diminutive guide Scaling one cliff, “Pick me!” it cried. They maneuver in step, each level to plan, And head to the top, brave to the man. Bowing and bending under weight of their mission, They stick to the route, one artist’s vision. A taught rope tightens, bound to a neck; A madman is tasked to keep it in check. And a body abused by the strap was then hung . . . A tragic event to which ballads are sung. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 14, 2009 Report Share Posted April 14, 2009 Fantastic riddle. The second version definitely makes it more of a challenge (although I didn't get it at first glance myself). Of course, I'm musically challenged. All I can play is the radio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Shakeepuddn Posted April 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2009 Thanks Dio. You know, with the second version I have to say this is one of my favorites. A lot of good metaphor available. I just went over the top (of the peak?) on first effort. Too hasty I guess. Again, Thanks for the kudos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 DudleyDude Posted April 14, 2009 Report Share Posted April 14, 2009 For me, having the word "fret" in the initial clue was a big indicator. I also think the 2nd flows better when read. Not sure how you come up with so many of these in such short time. They are really awesome and I always look forward to them. Unless they are about stupid snow and magic metals and I can't figure it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
Shakeepuddn
Four careful climbers and their diminutive guide
Scaling the face, “Pick me” seemed its cry.
They maneuver in squadron, each level to plan,
Head to the top, a key for each man.
Fretting and bending under weight of their mission,
They stick to the schedule, one man’s artful vision.
Then the taught rope quivers, being put to the neck;
A madman is key to keep it in check.
Thus a body abused by the strap was then hung,
A well-known event to which ballads are sung.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
6 answers to this question
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.