Jump to content
BrainDen.com - Brain Teasers

Question

WARNING: May cause severe abdominal pain and chocking! :lol:

Accidental Accident Reports

The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible. Such instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that grammar bloopers can be highly entertaining.

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.

10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

Link to post
Share on other sites

15 answers to this question

Recommended Posts

  • 0

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have another accident.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

My absolute favourites !!! :lol: :lol: Luckily my universal joints didn't give way while reading these.

Edited by Supandi
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 0
WARNING: May cause severe abdominal pain and chocking! :lol:

Accidental Accident Reports

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

A tree house ???

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

So not fair!

3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

At the speed of darkness no doubt

4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

Did he/she get the fly ???

5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

IQ matched the plant's! Mr Bush ??

6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

'Tiredness kills - take a break' ... shoud have seen that sign with all those years of driving (my fav btw)

7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

Big end gone??? beats liposuction

8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

Must have been the truck again

9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.

The final fronteer!!

10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

And you needed hat like I needed a hole in the head!

11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

Well he will be quicker next time

12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

What was there to be happy about

13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

Small car big mouth, big car ALL mouth! ... you were lucky!

14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

Kiss of life would do it and thus will you suffer from mad cows diesease

15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

Well he would not have had a chance afterwards

16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

No pane no gain!

17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

As you do

18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

Maxed your points - well done!

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

Saves swerving like 18, but at least you did not get hit

20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Octopuppy's time machine

21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

So why does she look like the back of a bus

22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

Just dipping his clutch??

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 0

hehe, my personal favs:

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Great jokes, Andro! I also love the comments given by the one and only LIS :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Answer this question...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...