unreality Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Here are the top 24 headlines of 1998!! 1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands 9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids 10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead 11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told 12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death 13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree 15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter 16. War Dims Hope for Peace 17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While 18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge 20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space 22. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 23. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 24. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Oh dude, I love those things. I actually did a project in Computer Science that gave a scrolling list of them. Just a few more: Sun or rain expected today, dark tonight Soap and water still cleans well Malls try to attract shoppers Economist uses theory to explain economy Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Eye Drops off Shelf Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 itachi-san Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 these are so funny! Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years Milk drinkers are turning to powder Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training Teenage girls often have babies fathered by men Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted September 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Izzy Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 LMFAO! These are brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 itachi-san Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Lack of brains hinders research New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Two convicts evade noose, jury hung Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better NJ judge to rule on nude beach Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board House passes gas tax onto senate Dealers will hear car talk at noon Two Soviet ships collide - one dies Deaf murder suspect gets new hearing in court Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted September 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Prof. Templeton Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Man is fatally slain Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation Child's death ruins couple's holiday Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency Cold wave linked to temperatures Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in Ten Years Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Queen Mary having bottom scraped Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Organ festival ends in smashing climax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 I shouldn't be eating while reading these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Farmer bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Queen Mary having bottom scraped Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? Prostitutes appeal to Pope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Man is fatally slain Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation Child's death ruins couple's holiday Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency Cold wave linked to temperatures Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in Ten Years Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Queen Mary having bottom scraped Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Organ festival ends in smashing climax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 itachi-san Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Stud Tires Out British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Golfer hit for Par If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply Air Head Fired Watch Thief Faces Time Some Pieces of Van Gogh Sold at Auction for the Needy Mayor Says D.C. Is Safe Except For Murders Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days. Free puppies: 1/2 Labrador Retriever 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog Hummel's largest selection ever "if it's in stock, we have it!" Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty. Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember Gas Cloud Clears Out Taco Bell. Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club Members Meet Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty Fried Chicken Cooked In Microwave Wins Trip After Detour To California Shuttle Returns To Earth Woman Improving After Fatal Crash Properly Drafted Will Reduces Anxiety After Death Experts Increase Probability Of Big Quake in California Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 hahahaha @ all of those Especially the murders one and the sneaky dog one, hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 2, 2008 Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 (edited) Some more... Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan William Kelly was fed secretary Quarter of a million Chinese live on water Squad helps dog bite victim Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984 Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says Psychic predicts world didn’t end yesterday Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25 Time to spark up the bowls Clinton’s firmness got results Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Edited October 2, 2008 by Alyanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 itachi-san Posted October 3, 2008 Report Share Posted October 3, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 itachi-san Posted October 3, 2008 Report Share Posted October 3, 2008 lolz :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 3, 2008 Report Share Posted October 3, 2008 these are really funny roflmao are they actually real? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 3, 2008 Report Share Posted October 3, 2008 lolz :lol: What does it say about me that I found nothing odd with this one? <sigh>.... I'm living the acronymic life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 unreality Posted October 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 haha those are great itachi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 This is soooo funny!!! :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says :lol: :lol: :lol: that must hurt!! :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 andromeda Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Free puppies: 1/2 Labrador Retriever 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog This is the best one! My jaw and cheeks hurt!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Here's one from a game I used to like: Tree Stuck In Cat; Firefighters Baffled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 tiger_lily111 Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 A few others I found that were funny: Infertility unlikely to be passed on How to combat that feeling of helplessness with illegal drugs And I think this one was in an April 1 edition of a local paper, but it was honestly seen: Microsoft Works! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Teen pregnancy is less likely after the age of 19. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
unreality
Here are the top 24 headlines of 1998!!
1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
16. War Dims Hope for Peace
17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
22. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
23. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
24. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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