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I felt like writing this one - I really hope no one minds. It's just too much fun.

It was a relatively slow day at the Braindenzia Crime Lab. It had been nearly twelve hours since the last case had been solved, and not a single person had died yet. Detective Kay drummed her fingers at her desk, filling through the pesky paperwork of the last case. Of course she was near the bottom of the food chain, so all this sort of stuff was dumped on her head.

She paused as she reached something interesting - a death threat issued to a fellow named Woon. Of course, the threat had been from ThunderChicken, and everybody knew he was mildly insane.

However, as if on cue, the head of the crime lab burst through the door.

"Let me guess," Kay grumbled. "Another murder?"

Without waiting for an answer, Kay grabbed her gun and her badge and hurried out the door.

--

The crime scene was a pig sty.

Literally. Kay found herself driving out to the far stretches of Braindenzia to the country region. Lying face-down in the mud was what she assumed had been Woon.

"That's just gross," she complained.

"Tell me about it."

It was then that she noticed the detective beside her was not Sinistral. She had not really expected him to be - after all, Sinistral had to go and get himself killed by a borderline psychopath. (Although he sort of deserved it, after the One-Post incident. One. Single. Solitary. Post.)

"Name?" she asked the new detective.

"Detective Phaze," he responded. "I'm the new detective."

"Obviously," Kay said dully. "Anyway, let's get this body back to autopsy and go question a couple suspects."

Phaze bit his lip, and for the first time Kay noticed the red mark around his mouth. She blinked in confusion, but didn't say anything. "That's going to be a problem," he muttered.

"Why?" she asked, growing more irritable by the second.

"Well...they're all either hungover or dead," he responded. "Including the coroner."

"Great," she grumbled. "Okay, we'll just examine him here."

The pigsty had only two pigs in it, besides Woon's body. A long stick was impaled through his head, and when the rolled him over they found that several of his ribs were cracked, along with a broken arm. The pigsty was inside the barn, a huge white building with a tall red roof.

"I know exactly who killed him!" Kay shouted after a moment. "Thunder Chicken sure called this one."

"So it was his fault?" Phaze asked excitedly.

"Yup," Kay grinned. "And nope."

She then ran back to her car, leaving a very puzzled Phaze behind.

As she ran, she could've sworn she heard him mumble: "Goddamn paradoxes."

Kay smiled. She couldn't have agreed more - paradoxes = paperwork.

(Questions welcome, sorry if this one is too easy. I couldn't resist - it's too much fun writing these.)

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A storm came in, and the clash of the THUNDER scared a CHICKEN on top of the roof...being unable to fly well, especially in the storm, Woon had to go get his bird.

At this point, either thunder struck or he just slipped and fell into the pigsty, impaling his skull on some post

In all seriousness, however, is it note-worthy that this was a pigsty? What I mean is that would any animal stall have worked for this murder, or were pigs necessary?

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If everyone is drunk or dead, how about ThunderChicken, invited a bunch of people to his farm, including Woon. He then proceeds to get everyone drunk, knowing that Woon can't hold his liquor. Suddenly, a tornado strikes and Woon is unlucky enough to get buffeted about by the winds, which causes his injuries as well as the stick that impaled him. Fortunately, everyone else had been holding onto conveniently placed beams, so no one else was killed...although they were all drunk, including the coroner.

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Lol once again I have no clue about what happened last night...

That musta been one hell of a party! xD

You make me sound like so much of a hick in this one Kay! Lol no KAN I don't have a farm. Not even on BrainDen...

And to the first or second poster, ThunderChicken is not a play on words. It's a name. It's my name in fact...

Edited by ThunderChicken
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Answers:

Pig sty is used only for the figure of speech.

I hate paradoxes. That's the only reason Phaze mumbled that.

It does not take place in a fridge. My avatar is an inside joke.

My name is just a nickname of my real name.

Alright- Brainden and Braindenizan. Thanks for the update. :)

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Yeah! Lol Y-San you should write a topic of how you killed me with my own spoilers!

Ok people I'm looking for someone to solve this murder in one post so I can find my next victim... Any takers?

I think I should try my hand at one of these here "Who Killed Who" topics...

Edited by ThunderChicken
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I am new to this site as of today and my friend and I are wondering did we miss something ~ another part of the story in another riddle? Or do we have all we need to know to solve this?

You have all you need to solve this...

Sweet! Another new member spawned by my murders! Haha that must be a new record...

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Answers:

Pig sty is used only for the figure of speech.

I hate paradoxes. That's the only reason Phaze mumbled that.

It does not take place in a fridge. My avatar is an inside joke.

My name is just a nickname of my real name.

Alright- Brainden and Braindenizan. Thanks for the update. :)

So if the pig sty is not literal than are the pigs cops and the barn a jail?

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I am new to this stuff but I'll take a guess...

actually referring to a previous puzzle?

Umm...not quite sure what you mean by that. I do refer to a previous puzzle in this, but it's only for comedy. No relevant details are from a previous puzzle.

Edit: Oh, and TC, that's five.

Edited by Kay
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oooh I know!

* Braindenizen not Braindenzian

* Brainden, not Braindenzia ;D

hehe

it's not Woon! It's Thunderchicken, trying to kill Woon, who was a pig (or escaped, either way!) TC fell and got trampled by the mellanagamiously effluent swinish hog pigs!

That's what I am think too. :D

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I'm still not even sure who died in this topic... It was woon right?

I couldn't have died because then I wouldn't be able to continue my glorious and completely justifiable killing spree!

Edited by ThunderChicken
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