Ok, so a man went on vacation and arranged for his mother to stay at his house and take care of his cat. And, just to be sure, he asked his next-door neighbor if he would look in on them every day and make sure they were all right."No problem," said the neighbor. The man flew off to Mexico and after a couple of days he called the neighbor and asked how things were going.
"Well," the neighbor said, "your cat died." "Geez," the guy said. "You have to come right out and tell me like that? Couldn't you have a little more consideration? I'm on vacation. Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently. Like first telling me that the cat was on the roof, then that the cat fell off the roof, then maybe the next day telling me you had taken the cat to the vet--like that, not boom all at once! By the way, how's my mom doing?"
"Well," said the neighbor, "she's up on the roof..."
Lol! And listen to this:
A husband and his wife were driving home one night and ran into a bridge abutment and both were killed. They arrived in heaven and found it was a beautiful golf course with a lovely clubhous and fabulous greens. It was free and only for them, and the husband said, "You want to play a round?"
She said, "Sure." They teed off on the first hole, and she said, "What's wrong?"
He said, "You know, if it hadn't been for your stupid oat bran, we could have been here years ago."
And this one:
A man walks into a restaurant and says, "How do you prepare your chickens?"
The cook says, "Nothing special. We just tell 'em they're gonna die."
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Ok, so a man went on vacation and arranged for his mother to stay at his house and take care of his cat. And, just to be sure, he asked his next-door neighbor if he would look in on them every day and make sure they were all right."No problem," said the neighbor. The man flew off to Mexico and after a couple of days he called the neighbor and asked how things were going.
"Well," the neighbor said, "your cat died." "Geez," the guy said. "You have to come right out and tell me like that? Couldn't you have a little more consideration? I'm on vacation. Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently. Like first telling me that the cat was on the roof, then that the cat fell off the roof, then maybe the next day telling me you had taken the cat to the vet--like that, not boom all at once! By the way, how's my mom doing?"
"Well," said the neighbor, "she's up on the roof..."
Lol!
And listen to this:
A husband and his wife were driving home one night and ran into a bridge abutment and both were killed. They arrived in heaven and found it was a beautiful golf course with a lovely clubhous and fabulous greens. It was free and only for them, and the husband said, "You want to play a round?"
She said, "Sure." They teed off on the first hole, and she said, "What's wrong?"
He said, "You know, if it hadn't been for your stupid oat bran, we could have been here years ago."
A man walks into a restaurant and says, "How do you prepare your chickens?"
The cook says, "Nothing special. We just tell 'em they're gonna die."
Liked them?! I'll post more soon!
:lol: 
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