Chuck Norris Jokes

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Chuck Norris always leads the pack!

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Chuck Norris supports the right to bare arms. until he rips them from your torso.

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The only invincible character in WoW. attributes: infinite roundhouse, infinite punch, infinite charisma

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Brian questioned a simple fact.

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nough said...

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though it may appear Chuck Norris is laughing to the untrained eye. he is actually absorbing the souls of everyone in the room.

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...though disturbing Chuck Norris only makes him angrier

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Chuck Norris' kick is so fast, it cauterizes any wound instantly

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this card was once used by Chuck Norris, claiming he liked the enormous handicap it put on his abilities for fairness reasons.

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it's always best to bring your own supplies when visiting Chuck Norris

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Frost... how did you earn such favor???? :o :o :o :o I must say that I'm a bit jealous <_<

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chuck-norris-magic-the-gathering-card.jpg

this card was once used by Chuck Norris, claiming he liked the enormous handicap it put on his abilities for fairness reasons.

Love it. ^_^

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Frost... how did you earn such favor???? :o :o :o :o I must say that I'm a bit jealous <_<

OMG! Wow, that is awesome. B))

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It's been said that if Chuck Norris comes after you on March 31st, he'll jokingly make you eat your own 'P', 'O', and 'Zero' keys just for laughs. Then the next day he'll show up at your house again and yell "April Fool's!" as he jovially force feeds them to you again.

Yeah, it's true that Chuck Norris is on the run... No Wait! You didn't let me finish!

Yes... Chuck just heard you think "On the run from what?" And no, Chuck Norris is not running from anyone, he is chasing after people. More specifically, the people that would actually think that he is running from something. Good luck...

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It's been said that if Chuck Norris comes after you on March 31st, he'll jokingly make you eat your own 'P', 'O', and 'Zero' keys just for laughs. Then the next day he'll show up at your house again and yell "April Fool's!" as he jovially force feeds them to you again.

Yeah, it's true that Chuck Norris is on the run... No Wait! You didn't let me finish!

Yes... Chuck just heard you think "On the run from what?" And no, Chuck Norris is not running from anyone, he is chasing after people. More specifically, the people that would actually think that he is running from something. Good luck...

Hey, bud, I will get Dnae after him if he messes with me. I need not worry like nerds do . I'm really a wannabee nerd. I'm sure there is always a bigger bully. :lol: I thought Griffin didd a good number Edited by akaslickster
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Unbelievable, Chuck and I have something in common. Thanks Itachi, for bringing out the truth. I owe you one. :lol:

for the special Chuck Roundhouse. :P

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Unbelievable, Chuck and I have something in common. Thanks Itachi, for bringing out the truth. I owe you one. :lol:

for the special Chuck Roundhouse. :P

Yes! Don't eat too many beans! :lol:
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nice ones ;) this is real. Go to google, type in "find chuck norris", and click "I'm Feeling Lucky." See what happens!

LOL That's actually pretty funny. :lol:

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Jawbreakers were originally in the shape of Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

The only reason the Energizer Bunny keeps going and going is because it knows Chuck Norris is after it.

Touching Chuck Norris' beard will increase you life expectancy by 6 years. Unfortunately, the following roundhouse kick will reduce your life expectancy by 300. You do the math.

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good ones

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Yes! Don't eat too many beans! :lol:

If you are saying that, it applies to Chuck Norris too. So be prepared to get your share of roundhouse kicks. :P

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Chuck Norris went as Chuck Norris for Halloween. He got twice as much candy as anybody.

Chuck Norris created John Mayer so that everyone would always have someone to make fun of.

Chuck Norris will never die. He is the reincarnation of dead Buddhists pent up rage

If someone asks Chuck Norris what his favorite song is, he roundhouse kicks them in the face until they beg for mercy. He then tells them that's music to his ears.

Chuck Norris ran the mile after the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique was used on him.

Chuck Norris once fell into a pool of toxic waste, and the toxic waste gained super powers.

Chuck Norris uses his beard to sharpen his pencil, that is when he's not using the blood of his victims as ink.

Plugging Chuck Norris into any equation makes the outcome equal to pain.

Yoda was once "6,4", black, and talked normal, he then made the mistake of saying Chuck Norris sucks.

Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris will die December 23, 2012.

In 2001, Chuck Norris kicked off Alex Trebek's mustache after not answering in the form of a question.

Chuck Norris doesn't know how to fight, but he does know how to kill with his fists.

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Chuck Norris will die December 23, 2012.

I was informed that Chuck was going to start a new civilization on Mars. :P

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Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

And the bomb!

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gotta love Chuck ;D

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Bowling is actually a sport derived from when Chuck Norris accidentally roundhouse kicked himself in the testicles and one broke free. In a fit of rage he threw it at a nearby forest creating our modern logging industry as well.

Chuck Norris invented death just so he could kill people.

Chuck Norris can down a whole bottle of Busch without once making a bitter beer face.

Chuck Norris once had a contest with The Cookie Monster to see who could eat the most cookies. Halfway through the contest, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Cookie Monster for no apparent reason.

Chuck Norris can utilize his beard as a lung for breathing underwater.

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

Chuck Norris. . . Impregnating virgins, and keeping them that way, since 9 Months B.C.

(think about it :lol: )

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a unicycle

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There was 29th and 30th of February for every year long long time ago, until Chuck Norris ask "Is today 1st of March?" on 28th February...........

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The sun rises in the east because the window in the bedroom of Chuck Norris faces west.

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Chuck Norris once ate three Viagra and walked across Times Square naked.... there were no survivors.

I seriously doubt that 3 BOXES of viagra would do anything to Chuck Norris. Let alone 3 :P

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I seriously doubt that 3 BOXES of viagra would do anything to Chuck Norris. Let alone 3 :P

Yeah, maybe. If he ate 3 of them alot may not happen to Chuck... but be assured that alot would happen to everyone else :P:o

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Chuck Norris is the only person who can punch a hurricane in the eye.

Chuck Norris orders his toilet paper from the cheese grater factory.

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Chuck Norris is the only man in existence who can not only withstand the impact of a paradox, but beat the living crap out of it until it is solved.

Chuck Norris has been known to hold his breath and survive under water for times easily exceeding 10hours. Though strangely, no one has ever known him to survive without sex for times exceeding 10 minutes.

Chuck Norris is the leader of the Others in the TV Show "Lost".

Charles Darwin based his "survival of the fittest" theory on Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

The song "Killing Me Softly" was written by someone who witnessed a pissed off Chuck Norris who had just gotten up that morning and somehow had some undersized bunny slippers stuck on his feet. It was bad.

Ever since Chuck Norris was born, evolution has been going in reverse. Because Chuck Norris sees "survival of the fittest" as a challenge

Chuck Norris has Braille writing on his boots so that even blind people will know what's coming.

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Chuck Norris was once the judge at an interpretive dance competition. He found them guilty.

Chuck Norris's beard has its own thriving ecosystem.

Chuck wanted his beard to be a tiny pencil-thin moustache. The beard itself wanted to be a long ZZ-Top-like beard. Their battle continues at a standstill to this day.

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Sorry if this has already been posted...there's just to MUCH chuck norris, uh "tales" that I lost track...well the at least that's the story if chuck ever comes by my house *praying he doesn't, unless it's when I get older and am "married" to him* ;) ;)

Chuck Norris lead a horse to water, and made him drink.

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