Guest Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." They're things people actually said in court, word for word--following is my compiled personal favorite: Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 Too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! too good... just too good... (but uh, that was a docter not a lawer...) good joke anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 P.S. how do i become a senior member? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! too good... just too good... (but uh, that was a docter not a lawer...) good joke anyway! Yes, it was a doctor--answering some lawyers stupid questions in court and making a fool of the lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 P.S. how do i become a senior member? Grow old -I don't recomend it or you can add up you kudos points and trade them in with Bonanova! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 P.S. how do i become a senior member? I don't truly know--I only just joined a short time ago myself and already am a junior or something--maybe it has to do with one's interaction with the site; but I don't know--perhaps a moderator or someone like that could tell you. Have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 P.S. how do i become a senior member?it is determined by the number of posts you have made. just keep writing, and your status will change over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 onetruth Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 I like the last one best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 (but uh, that was a docter not a lawer...) good joke anyway!....but uh, the joke was about the stupidity of the lawyer, not the doctor; did you not get that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted May 14, 2008 Report Share Posted May 14, 2008 I like the last one best. I agree, but that is why I compiled them--to lead up to the last one; I thought it was funnier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
Guest
From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." They're things people actually said in court, word for word--following is my
compiled personal favorite:
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere.
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