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A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

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this bears a great resemblance with me and my trainee R.E. teacher and we both really dislike each other and would openly admit it :P

Anyway... We were studying the jewish festival of passover and, in pairs, we were given 7 cards with terms on like "maror" or "mitzoh" and we had to correctly match these with another set of cards that described the terms. My teacher then collected these cards in. So at the end of the lesson I was talking with a friend i sit by and my teacher presumed i was too busy talking to listen so she asked me what does "salt water" represent for Jews. As i seem to have this talent to be able to talk and listen at the same time, I heard this and recited the whole paragraph from the cards straight to my teacher. Despite this my teacher seemed to think this was a fluke and asked me another, again perfectly recited. And so on until i had perfectly recited 7 paragraphs from memory. When i had finished this my teacher just stood there without moving for about 1/2 a minute flicking glazes of amazement between me and my proper teacher who was inspecting at the back of the classroom.

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