Guest Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 This was an email received by me... please take it in good spirit.... No offense to anyone... Enjoy!!!! Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost > power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the > ocean" The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but > were somewhat comforted by the captain's next > announcement. > > "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an > emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your > seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane > and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane" > After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to > comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the > captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an > announcement: > > "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the > swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your > emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the > non-swimmers on the left side of plane... > > " THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA! " > > > > > British Airways - > > "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to > welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York > to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway > across the Atlantic." > > "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, > you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If > you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the > port wing has fallen off." "If you look down towards the > Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people > in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one > of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message." > > > > Air France - > There once was a flight heading from London to New York. Halfway > during the flight, the captain suddenly comes over the > intercom system... > > "This is Captain Jean-Pierre Lalonde speaking. I have a bit of bad > news for you. We have lost our first left engine, but never fear, > we can still make it using only three engines. But because of the loss of > power, we will be two hours late." > Time goes on, and once again the PA system crackles to life... "This > is again your Captain. We have lost an engine on our > starboard wing. But rest assured that our plane can fly using only two > engines. Due to the reduced power, we will > now be four hours late." > > The flight goes on, when the passengers hear the now familiar sound of > the address system... "Guess what, folks! We lost > another engine, but nothing to fear. We can still make it using only one > engine. But now we will be six hours late. " > > On hearing this, an elderly lady turned to the person sitting next to her, > and said: "I hope we don't lose ANOTHER engine. I'll be late > for my connecting flight from New York!" > > > > > Tail Piece: > ---------- > > Air India - > > You never hear any such happenings overboard an Air India flight. Does > it sound strange? Yet, it is true, since: > > 1. the public addressing system is the first to go for a toss and > 2. there are no survivors to tell such tales in any and every case. Just kidding!! Indian Airlines isn't so bad after all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 7, 2008 Report Share Posted April 7, 2008 lol funny i love the lufthansa one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 those sre soooo funny!! yeah the Lufthansa one is my fave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 I love the British one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
Guest
This was an email received by me... please take it in good spirit.... No offense to anyone... Enjoy!!!!
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost
> power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the
> ocean" The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but
> were somewhat comforted by the captain's next
> announcement.
>
> "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
> emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your
> seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane
> and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"
> After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to
> comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the
> captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an
> announcement:
>
> "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the
> swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your
> emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the
> non-swimmers on the left side of plane...
>
> " THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA! "
>
>
>
>
> British Airways -
>
> "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
> welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York
> to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway
> across the Atlantic."
>
> "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
> you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If
> you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the
> port wing has fallen off." "If you look down towards the
> Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people
> in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one
> of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
>
>
>
> Air France -
> There once was a flight heading from London to New York. Halfway
> during the flight, the captain suddenly comes over the
> intercom system...
>
> "This is Captain Jean-Pierre Lalonde speaking. I have a bit of bad
> news for you. We have lost our first left engine, but never fear,
> we can still make it using only three engines. But because of the loss of
> power, we will be two hours late."
> Time goes on, and once again the PA system crackles to life... "This
> is again your Captain. We have lost an engine on our
> starboard wing. But rest assured that our plane can fly using only two
> engines. Due to the reduced power, we will
> now be four hours late."
>
> The flight goes on, when the passengers hear the now familiar sound of
> the address system... "Guess what, folks! We lost
> another engine, but nothing to fear. We can still make it using only one
> engine. But now we will be six hours late. "
>
> On hearing this, an elderly lady turned to the person sitting next to her,
> and said: "I hope we don't lose ANOTHER engine. I'll be late
> for my connecting flight from New York!"
>
>
>
>
> Tail Piece:
> ----------
>
> Air India -
>
> You never hear any such happenings overboard an Air India flight. Does
> it sound strange? Yet, it is true, since:
>
> 1. the public addressing system is the first to go for a toss and
> 2. there are no survivors to tell such tales in any and every case.
Just kidding!! Indian Airlines isn't so bad after all
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