Nikyma Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my l icense out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" I love this part.... "Only when he's been drinking." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 silly women!! Good for nothing but trouble and folding laundry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 largeneal! that's so mean. it's stereotypical and racisit. That statement is COMPLETLY WRONG!!!!! We also cook 4 u. gotsta bounce yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Nikyma Posted April 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 silly women!! Good for nothing but trouble and folding laundry You are such a stinker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 Haha, true, you all do cook for us. I did forget about other things like ironing, dusting, vacuuming, and basically anything else I tell her to do And I am not stinker - I showered on Tuesday (first of month). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 haha wow this is funny she's mean!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 I Love It. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 silly women!! Good for nothing but trouble and folding laundry That is a sexist remark!!!!! <_< <_< <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 (edited) Dang right! Your in deep she-ut now, largeneal. you've got peoples against y'all. Nice goin'. Typical guy. Gotsta bounce yo. Edited April 8, 2008 by 4wheelchick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Dang right! Your in deep she-ut now, largeneal. you've got peoples against y'all. Nice goin'. Typical guy. Gotsta bounce yo. Yeah, now all you women can team up and beat me with your feather dusters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Naw. I'll go easy on ya. I'll just git my 4-wheeler and bow-n-arrow...you're in 4 it. So, if anyone wants to be mean...just keep in mind that I'm dangerous. Yesah! Dang-tootin' right! Oh yeah...I almost forgot my *supersonic* burps. Yup, those are me best weapon. Gotsta bounce yo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 I'll take the burps - I hear your farts are 100X worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 (edited) Dang *tootin'* right! Me farts are like an ENORMOUS skunk just let one rip right in yo nostrils!!! They're so loud, even a deaf person could hear em. If you're in a retirement home (with old people), go up to an old person and say, "Did u fart? I smell vasoline." (Excuz if I spelt "vasoline" wrong.) That little quote thing-a-ma-jig came from Larry the Cable Guy....HE ROX MY SOX!!! Gotsta bounce, yo. Edited April 10, 2008 by 4wheelchick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Yeah, now all you women can team up and beat me with your feather dusters. ooooh, can I get beaten too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Nikyma Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 ooooh, can I get beaten too? You've gotta earn your beatings around here. Neal has a whole lot of them coming his way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 You've gotta earn your beatings around here. Neal has a whole lot of them coming his way. I have been naughty - but have no candy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0 Guest Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 largeneal! that's so mean. it's stereotypical and racisit. That statement is COMPLETLY WRONG!!!!! We also cook 4 u. gotsta bounce yo. That would be sexist, not racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Question
Nikyma
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,
" I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly
dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my l icense out of my
back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....
"Only when he's been drinking."
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