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I'm not a Yakov Smirnoff gag



Hollow's my skull, think that I'm dead?

Conclusion untrue, from burrow loft

Union maintained, steel our thread

It's straight as a brick is light and soft

Recognize me? Better inspect

A fraudulent claim shall not get through

Handshake select one I reject

In Soviet Russia, teeth brush you!

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It might be easier with a rephrasing where the clues are more clearly clues.

I have a hollow skull, but am not "dead" because of it

I have come from or been sent from some sort of "burrow"

I either am a part of or am a union kept together with steel

And that steel is not straight

The "you" in the riddle should recognize/inspect me

Any liars or impostors won't get through

I will, with a handshake, pick something to "reject"

Teeth brush you

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Not a vending machine. I can see where you're coming from with that answer; clues about maintaining a union with a thread of steel, not letting a fraudulent claim through, and (maybe) teeth brushing you could maybe be made to fit it, but I think the answer I have in mind is enough of a more natural fit that most people could recognize it as the right answer when re-reading the riddle.

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possibly a padlock? I think most of it makes sense if it's a padlock with a key but not sure if the "hollow skull" is too much of a stretch and not sure how to work in the "better inspect" line. But I think the "union maintained" section could refer to the curved shackle and the "liars or imposters" through the end could refer to the key and using the key (handshake) to release the shackle (one I reject)

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